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Polygamy: What if it was the reverse, women having more than one husband? (4946 hits)

To answer Siebra Muhammad question, To the men who talk about polygamy being a good thing let's ask this, would you feel the same way if it was the reverse (women having more than one husband)? Her response to, Should A Man Be Able to Have More Than One Wife?

I recently was invited to speak to an early childhood vocational class of 12th grade female students on this very topic. When I expressed that I believed in polygamy a few of their reactions were that I was just nasty and just wanted s*x.

It is obvious and true that a woman is and would be more capable of s*xually satisfying several and even many men at a time, more so than a man; however, polygamy isn't about s*x.

I have already expressed my point of view on relationships between Black men and women in my postings, Adam and Eve Revised and The Silk Purse Conspiracy, but responding to this question, here is my perspective.

There are so many issues that doesn't support women with a number of husbands, in my opinion, yet I am too aware of women with multiple baby daddies. It is truly possible, look at all the women who are raising their children alone, by different men and some keeping a relationship with each man. But look how the family suffers when those men neglect their responsibilities. 

The first question, I posed to the female group was, since most women have a difficult time dealing emotional with one man, how would they handle dealing with several men?

I then pointed out to them, I as a male having millions of sperm cells this would enable me to impregnate, in one months time, every single female in the school.

They as females given one egg each month, do they just squander their choice with more than one male? If so, who is the daddy of their child?

Just saying, that not knowing isn't important, then when the woman is pregnant for one husband, what are the others to do sit around twiddling their thumbs or will they all continue to s*x her? Now to me this sounds disturbing.

Now, it is one thing to serve several in and out men at a time, but to serve several healthy demanding men daily, How many women really want that? Even prostitutes break down after a while.

My feelings about Polygamy is not about s*x, you can buy s*x and have a different partners every time, to me that would be Nasty. 

Now, Monogamy is very important for the well being of the entire family, but my position on Polygamy is about wealth and power that a large productive family can command.

How can a polygamist be Monogamous? Simply by having s*x only with his wives.

Polygamy, to me, only works when all the parents are involved with the raising of the children and providing the basic needs of their children. 

Men who father children with different women and walk away are not Polygamist.

There was a time in my youth had my goals been reached, I would have been financially capable of creating the family structure I had envisioned. Considering all things, I feel that men of my age group whom have already successfully raised their families would be the best solution to unifying many of our dysfunctional black families by adoption the whole family, instead of breaking up families and spreading the children around into foster care.

I feel what I and other fathers have to offer a woman raising her children alone, would benefit and make a difference in their lives.

Today, I don't have a need to father any more children, so I wouldn't have a problem raising someone else's with the same assistance that the system offers to foster care providers.

This arrangement could be much like a father helping to support a daughter, niece, friend or neighbor. To think that a woman and her children wouldn't become attached to the man helping them is naive; then again, to think that a man would commit himself to a woman and she have a lover would never work, there lies a dilemma.

So basically, by adopting the whole family keeping them together helping the mother and her children catch themselves, like a father, when the family is able to go it alone, you see them off with your well wishes.

I came across this article that would supports my idea of adopting on a broader level:

Here is the link with the complete article:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43085435
Posted By: Ivan Butcher II
Tuesday, January 21st 2014 at 10:44AM
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Peace Brother Ivan,

Thanks for sharing this article. I agree with your statement, polygamy is not (and should not be) about s*x. And I'm not saying what others should or should not do as far as marriage/relationships are concerned, we are all adults and capable of making our own decisions. However, I believe polygamy is best left for the ones who are wise enough to employ said life style. It takes knowledge, wisdom, understanding, much patience, and love for righteousness to be successful.

A man doesn't need to marry more than one wife if he doesn't have himself together first and isn't able to support his first wife and the children born of that union with that first wife. I say that because if you look in parts of Africa (or even the Caribbean) there are numerous examples of Black men who have several wives who are handling their business.

Even in this society, in the past, when Black men had some control over the economics of their communities, Black men were able to support their wives, all their children, as well as mistresses on the side....not that I justify adultery in any form.

Then there is also the issue of having one of the wives feeling jealous or neglected compared to the others. Show me a family with several children in it and I will show you a child that feels neglected and unfairly treated in many instances. The same applies for polygamous marriages, I don't think there is no man alive that can treat and love two (or more) women the same, so therefore there will always be some jealousy and envy. For the brothers who think that there will not be some jealousy and envy, they are in denial and these brother's lack of knowledge is transparent to all but them.

The point I'm making is people who practice polygamy should do so in a righteous manner. Polygamy is not to be used for vain or selfish purposes or to condone the appetite of man's lower desires in the name of Allah.
Tuesday, January 21st 2014 at 5:59PM
Siebra Muhammad

Mr. Ivan Butcher II good Reading and I must thank you for not interjecting some 'blackWhite' racist nonsense in the article......

Siebra has always been racist in her thought----'blackthis, blackthat'

and her SHALLOWNESS is AlIslaam

Allaah is Very Specific ----

Sūrat An-Nisā’
(The Women) IV
In the Name of Allāah,the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

1. Mankind! Be dutiful to Rabaanaa, Who created you from a single person, Adaam, and from him He created his wife Hawwā (Eve), and from them both He created many men and women; and fear Allāah through Whom you have mutual rights, and do not cut the relations of Family.

Surely, Allāah is Ever an All-Watcher over you.

2. And give to orphans their property and do not exchange bad things for good ones; and do not devour their substance by adding it to your substance.

Surely, this is a great sin.

3. And if you fear that you cannot do justice to orphans, marry such women as seem proper to you; two, or three, or four;

if you fear that you will not do justice, marry one or that which your right hands possess.

This is more proper that you may not do injustice.


Tuesday, January 21st 2014 at 10:43PM
powell robert
Greetings Ms. Muhammad,

"What if the woman had more than one husband?", because I think that as a man, you would be insecure sharing your wife with another man, yet you would want your wife to share you with another woman.

My feelings which I have shared, I personally would not share the wife/woman I am making sacrifices for her and her/our children; well, not unless I entered into such a relationship or sharing a girlfriend.

No woman would naturally want to share her man.

What is natural to most humans is taught in most cases, you have been raised and conditioned to believe what you state.

Your points are well taken,

Wellness
Monday, January 27th 2014 at 8:14AM
Ivan Butcher II
"No woman would naturally want to share her man."

I didn't want to speak out of turn, but now that it's been said I will comment.

The way of nature for humans, as a species, is monogamy. It is not learned behaviour. Geese are monogamous, while ducks are not. The geese don't learn this behaviour, it is natural.

Religion however, is learned behaviour.

Monday, January 27th 2014 at 8:49AM
Steve Williams
To answer the question though Ivan, what if it were the other way around, the result often is murder and mayhem.

Monday, January 27th 2014 at 8:55AM
Steve Williams
Greetings Steve,

The way of nature for humans, as a species, is monogamy.

There are many cultures where polygamy is custom, which would be considered to be learned conditioning, not human nature.

Why pick only one creature of nature, when there are so many other species that are not monogamous.

Did you think long on this response, because incest, pedophilia, homos*xuality would be a natural human trait and could also be monogamous, or by your definition this behavior is learned from Religion?
Monday, January 27th 2014 at 9:24AM
Ivan Butcher II
Hi Ivan. No, I learned this truth through painful experience.
Monday, January 27th 2014 at 9:53AM
Steve Williams
I also had a customer when I was a mason, who had 2 wives. He is a wealthy man and had them in separate houses. Wife no. 1, with whom he had I think 8 children had the larger house. Wife no. 2, with 3 children had the smaller, but still very nice. All the family would gather together on Sundays, so apparently this arrangement was agreed to by all. He had me do a job for wife no. 2 first, but he made it a precondition of my employment that I was not to discuss with wife no.2, under any circumstances, the even larger job I was doing for wife no. 1. He also discussed wife no.2 in my presence with wife no. 1, and wife no.1 did not look at all happy. So even though both wives accepted the arrangement on the surface, there was obvious jealousy on both the wives' parts.

Monday, January 27th 2014 at 10:27AM
Steve Williams
11 animals that mate for life

http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/animals/p...

Wolves

Often portrayed as tricksters and con artists in popular folklore, wolves have a family life that is more loyal and pious than most human relationships. Normally, packs consist of a male, a female and their offspring, essentially making wolf packs akin to a nuclear family.

Monday, January 27th 2014 at 10:40AM
Steve Williams
The Husband is/was the problem,.

Families are small nations and he is an unjust ruler, and for him to take you into his confidence, he is a weak man.

Monday, January 27th 2014 at 12:17PM
Ivan Butcher II
@IVAN, I HAVE WAITED FOR A RESPONSE FROM SIEBRA BEFORE ASKING YOU ABOUT YOUR OUT LOOK ON WOMEN?!? YES ON WOMEN SINCE YOU SEEM TO NOT SEE THEM AS INDIVIDUALS OR THAT THEY CAN ONLY GET PREGNANT 72 HOURS OUT OF EACH MONTH AND EVEN THEN ALL WOMEN DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN NO MATTER HOW MUCH s*x THEY HAVE...SO LETS GO TO THE RESPECT FOR THE FEMALE...

ALL WOMEN ARE NOT ABOUT s*x OR HAVING CHILDREN...YOU KNO WLIKE SOME WOMEN DO HAVE FREEDOM OF THOUGH AND EVEN CONTROL OVER THEIR OWN BODIES...

BUT HERE IS WHERE I WANTED TO GET AND IT IS ABOUT YOUR SAYING YOU SHOULD NOT BE LOOKED ON AS A DIRTY OLD MAN???RTHEN WHY SHOULD A FEMALE BE LOOKEDON AS A s*x OBJECT / BABY MACHINE? (NUP/ SMILE)...

YOU SEE IVAN, I HAVE NOT SEEN ANYPLACE IN YOUR BLOG WHERE THE FEMALE HAS ANY SAY IN ANY OF THIS FROM BEING MARRIED TO HAVEING s*x TO HAVING TO GO THROUGH CHILD BIRTH...YOU SEE CHILD BIRTH IS STILL PUTING YOUR LIFE ON THELINE...AND AS AN EXAMPLE OF PUTING YOUR LIFE ON THE LINE ...

THE HUMAN BODY CAN NOT LIVE WITH A DIFFERENT BLOOD TYPE AND CARRYING A CHILD WITH A DIFFERENT BLOOD TYPE CAN KILL THE MOTHER...GAINING WIEGHT HAVEING HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE CAN KILL THE MOTHER...

THANKS FOR ALLOWING ME TO HAVE MY SAY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS ISSUE(SMILE)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
Hey Ivan... Interesting blog... I gotta read more ... I tend to feel ( emotionally) not based on cultural that monogamy is the best... From a personal standpoint... In order for a man to provide the emotional psychological and physical support to his family he needs only one. I grew up in a somewhat dysfunctional family... Because of the blended families... Well until I was a teenager... My mother was wife # 3.... Yep the ole stepfather had wives....
Friday, August 1st 2014 at 4:48PM
Cynthia Merrill Artis
Cynthia, I understand that it really depends on the individuals, and our culture here in the west is contrary to my perspective, but our families are in crisis. I came from a household where our father left and we had to share our mother with her companions, a much different situation than yours, but we stayed together as a family.

I am about Nation building:

Consider Adopting the Whole Family

http://hbcuconnect.com/cgi-bin/blog.cgi?bl...
Saturday, August 2nd 2014 at 12:03AM
Ivan Butcher II
Mr. Ivan,

This is a fruitless argument until Black Americans are a sovereign people in a country of our own!

Tackle the most pressing need and that is sovereignty in a country of our own!

Saturday, August 2nd 2014 at 8:58AM
Harry Watley
Thanks Ivan... I've learned that some situations can leave you broken and scarred... I try to avoid situations like that...

And sorry about Harry.... Sometimes I feel like he's my cyber stalker.... he follows me from blog to blog..

Sunday, August 3rd 2014 at 12:13PM
Cynthia Merrill Artis
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