I want to share a testimony from a Navajo sister that has embraced Islam, which is very rare in Native America. We in the Nation of Islam, didn’t have to shove Bean Pies and The Final Call down her throat, and we didn’t have to yell at her with quotes from the Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad. We just lived what was already in us, showing her a good example. We connected with her, and that same light that she saw in us, she saw in herself and embraced it. Let us embrace our Sister Native Angel with love, understanding and compassion. – Yonasda Lonewolf-Muhammad
**************************
Ya’ateeh, t’aa anoltso shi’kei doo dine’e. Shi’ ei Gwen yinishye’. Adoon’e nishlingii Honoghanni nishli. Kii a’aanii bashishchiin. Naaki Din’e dashicheii, Bitahni dashinali. Ako’teego Dine’ asdzani nishli
(The translation of that is: my relatives, my people I greet you with the respect and honor.)
My name is Gwen. I am of the one-who-walks around clan, born for the towering house people. My maternal grandfather is of the Mexican people clan and my paternal grandfather is of the folded arms people. This is who I am as a Navajo woman.
There was once a time in my life I was so hopeless. I was married to my ex-husband and he was very abusive toward me. I was homeless with my two-year-old daughter and six months pregnant with my son. I was drinking alcohol and lastly working in a gentlemen’s club as a dancer. This however led to depression, low self-esteem and an attempted suicide. During this time I had lost sense of my outlook on life. I was so lost and I had to reflect on myself and the choices I was making. I used to have strong morals, strong values and I tried to keep on that path. However, this sickness led me to the worst stages of my life. I don’t know how I could have done it without the help of Islam. What made me want to change was the fact that I was expecting my second child, Bear. I didn’t want to live like this anymore; I knew deep down there had to be something better.
During the summer of 2004, I was living in the streets of Arizona with my two-year-old daughter, Daijah. It was one particular night I was sitting on a bench at a bus stop at three in the morning with my daughter asleep on my lap that I began to think how sad I was and depressed and I started crying. I needed something. I knew I wanted truth. I felt like I was depriving myself of a better life. So I just called out. I asked sincerely. If we really want something, we have to ask God. So I asked with all sincerity, asking the Creator. I was throwing names out there: Creator, God, Allah, whoever you are. I really need help. I need guidance and I was so desperate. Even then I did believe there was a Creator, a one source that was responsible for creating everything and that there was a true purpose in life.
I believe what changed my life was calling out to Allah. I understood I had a problem and my first step I recognized this problem and I needed to fix it and right away. After my initial prayer, there were many changes. I called my parents back home and told them of everything and, they were so forgiving and came to get us. I gave birth to my beloved son and Islam found me. Allah gave me the strength to live a better life for myself and my children. Every day I wake up to help me stay strong in the deen. I try to perfect my Salah (prayer) by reading the Holy Qur’an and always referring back to it, educating myself with more of the knowledge, and is Allah going to be pleased with me if I do this. The person I am today has come from the gift of Islam: the morals, the character, the value, the cleansing of the heart and how to live a daily life from morning to night.
On September 14, 2004 the day I gave birth to my son is when I proclaimed the testimony of faith (ash-shahada): “Ashhadu anna la ilaha illa Allah, wa anny Muhammadan rasul lu Allah.” (The translation of that is: I declare there is no God but Allah and Muhammad is His messenger.) I chose this day for a specific reason. My son is also a divine reminder, a blessing and gift from Allah whom I cherish forever. There is no coincidence and I believe my son was given to me to bring me forth into my life with great strength. I would have never left my abusive husband only to find out I was pregnant (my son saved me and his sister). I would never have called out to Allah for help and I would never had found Islam.
My journey in life started with hopelessness. It went back to when I was a baby at six weeks of age when my birth parents gave me up and I was raised by my grandparents so I always had a sense of loss and living in the dark. A lot of people are looking for the light and, I have found the light, the happiness, the truth of life … Islam. I used to cry out of hopelessness, loneliness and anger and I saw Allah’s creations, how He is always there, what He has in store for me and I saw my place in this life. Everywhere I went I was smiling, comfortable with whom I was.
All the pain I was subjective to, Allah has all the solutions and my gratitude is to Allah and I am grateful that happiness has found a place in my heart. My love has grown tremendously and my heart fills with Allah. When you’re in love with someone, you FEAR of disappointing them, you FEAR hurting them or losing them. Fear and love goes hand to hand. Without fear there is no love. Without love there is no fear. I am comfortable with what I have learned and able to overcome. I have a great respect for life. I have a relationship with Allah (Lord of the Worlds) Master Fard Muhammad and His Christ / Messiah, The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad and their servant in our mist The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan. Long Live Muhammad!
It was difficult for me to share my story because of fear; I let fear paralyze me from inspiring others to see the good in Islam. My advice for other Brothers and Sisters in Islam, always try your best to show your best character to the ones who are non-Muslim, as you should to your Muslim brothers and sisters. Your Character and manners may encourage someone to look into Islam. Imagine Allah guides someone to Islam through you, through your good manners, through your good character. Imagine the rewards that Allah will have for you if Allah attracts someone to Islam through you. Is it possible? It happened to me. I still struggle; however, with the help of Allah, I am getting closer to Him. I am still struggling to live the life He wants me to. I refuse to give up. I am a work in progress, but someday I hope to become as close as I can to being an “Ideal Muslimah.”
As-Salaam Alaikum!
Sister Gwen / Native Angel
Posted By: Siebra Muhammad
Wednesday, June 25th 2014 at 4:43PM
You can also
click
here to view all posts by this author...
