If you are in a loveless relationship and you think you have decided you want out, there are things to think about prior to leaving. If you are in a marriage, or a relationship with children, I would move very slowly through these suggestions and work on each one prior to a split. There is no hurry with ending a marriage unless there is abuse involved. Many couples find that when they give every effort and attention to making things better, their situation improves significantly.
1. Be honest with yourself. Does this person treat you with respect, or are they simply playing the part of a warm body?
2. Write down the pros and cons of leaving. If your only reason to stay is to avoid being alone, that is not enough.
3. Make sure you know the exact reasons you have not left the relationship thus far (money, kids, stability, depression or health concerns). These will be the main reasons for contention if you leave, so plan now how you will work this out.
4. Fill the void in your life. Many times when a relationship is on the rocks the person withdraws from life. You can become happier by shifting the focus from the relationship to your life and interests.
5. Make your friend network stronger. This can help because you will feel validated and your friends will help see you through your choices.
6. Contact a counselor. A counselor will help you navigate unexpected feelings.
7. Talk with your partner directly about the issue if it is safe. If you are with someone who is abusive, contacting them via email or phone is safer.
8. Once a decision to divorce or break up is made by both parties, say goodbye. Do not contact them for a quick meet up as this will only confuse the relationship further and make you feel more alone.
9. Give yourself permission to grieve it and mourn the loss. This is very important.
10. Do not date for at least one year. You need time to rebuild your self-esteem and confidence. If you date too soon after the breakup, you will find another person who is very similar to the last one.
http://blog.chron.com/loveandrelationships...
Posted By: Jeni Fa
Tuesday, July 29th 2014 at 7:19PM
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