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"Black Robbers" (A True Story) (7556 hits)


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Hello Everyone:

My Son, Gregory, brought to my attention one day as we were discussing race relations, one of the funniest damn stories that I have heard in awhile. I'm sure that you will all enjoy it as I have. I don't know who the author is. However, it was purported to have been on the David Lettermen Show. Albeit, it's content is as profound as hell, this type of situation occurs all of the time.
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“BLACK ROBBERS”? (A True Story)

For anyone who didn’t see the episode of David Letterman’s show where this story was told, read this and remember it’s a true story.

On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room.

I’ll be right back and we’ll go to eat’ she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator. As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were Black. One of them was very tall and had an intimidating figure.

The woman froze. Her first thought was; “These two are going to rob me.”

Her next thought was; “Don’t be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentleman.” But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her.

Avoiding eye contact, she got in, turned around stiffly and faced the elevator doors as they closed.

A second passed, and then another second, and then another. Her fear increased! The elevator didn’t move. “My God” she thought, I’m trapped and about to be robbed! Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore. Then one of the men said, “Hit the floor.”

Instinct told her to do what they told her. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator floor. A shower of coins rained down on her. “Take my money and spare me”, she prayed.

More seconds passed.

She heard one of the men say politely, Ma’am, if you’ll just tell us what floor you’re going to, we’ll push the button.”

The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh. The woman lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down to help her up.

Confused, she struggled to her feet, “When I told my friend here to hit the floor”, said the average sized one, “I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor.” I didn’t mean for you to hit the floor, Ma’am.” He spoke genially. He bit his lip.

It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing. The woman thought; “My God, what a spectacle I’ve made of myself.” She was humiliated to speak.

The three of them gathered up the strewn quarters an refilled her bucket. When the elevator arrived at her floor they then insisted on walking her to her room. She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor.

At her door they bid her good evening. As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the elevator. The woman brushed herself off. She pulled herself together and went downstairs for dinner with her husband.

The next morning flowers were delivered to her room; a dozen roses. Attached to EACH ROSE WAS A CRISP ONE-HUNDRED-DOLLAR BILL!

The card said: “Thanks for the best laugh we’ve had in years.”

It was signed: Eddie Murphy and Michael Jordan.
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My Wife and I spent a couple of days in Atlantic City recently and had a wonderful time. The hotel was the "Fanta-Sea Resort at the far end of Atlantic Avenue. The hotel itself was ok...a lot of children...who occupied the pool...(couldn’t use it). The hot-tub was pretty busy...couldn't use it. The elevator service really sucked! For some unforeseen reason it seemed that everyone was booking rooms on Monday. Go Figure! We were attempting to avoid the weekend visitors and tourist(s). Brigantine Beach was the best...hadn't been there in years...a bit ritzy (rich), but it was great. It had the most pristine sand and water in the vicinity. We dined twice at 'Ruby Tuesdays' on Atlantic Ave near 'Caesars'. We were TREATED LIKE ROYALTY there. One of our waitresses was named 'Carmen'...didn't get the name of the YOUNG BROTHER who worked the bar...we got his photo though. I recommend the visit to that particular restaurant when and if you're in Atlantic City! Tell them about this article and the story...please mention were you got the recommendation as well.

They may remember us.

Hope that you enjoyed the story as much as I.


Til next time.


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Posted By: Gregory V. Boulware, Esq.
Sunday, August 16th 2009 at 9:40PM
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Sunday, September 15th 2013 at 9:13PM
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