It's a fact of life, I've learned to deal with. I'm used to the stares, the mumbled comments, and the off-colored comments made when people think I'm out of earshot.
I wasn't prepared for the way people would react to me as a disabled person. Temporary or otherwise. I had former friends who wouldn't return my phone calls. They didn't want to be bothered with me. I hadn't changed, I was still the same person inside. However, it wasn't that simple for some. I came home in a wheel chair, used a cane briefly, and am walking with a leg brace, but not for much longer. (Happy to report) I'm talking about people I've known for most of my life. It's been an eye-opening experience. A real shocker.
Some people have a hard time looking at me walk with a brace on my leg. Others are amazed that I can still bowl with one hand. I can drive a car. I'm raising kids. Still writing and still have my sharp wits about me. I still pretty much do everything that I used to. I've just learned how much crueler the world can be when you're disabled.
Handicap doors that don't work in public buildings. And people who see no need to fix them right away. Theatres that don't have handrails. People parking in handicap spaces because they are too tired to get up and walk some place and all their limbs work. Groan! If I had a dollar every time this happened; I'd be a millionaire.
I find it interesting that people assume if you are handicapped, you use a wheelchair. Well, what about people like me, who are stroke survivors, and don't use a wheelchair?
People like to think that if they have a blue handicap sign posted, they are in compliance with the American With Disabilities Act (ADA), but they aren't. If you don't make the effort to ensure that wheelchairs can PROPERLY fit and get through designated spaces, a sign won't help. There's nothing more frustrated than shopping in a handicap accessible cart only to have it die in the middle of a store. Then you have to sit and wait for someone to bring you a new cart. Louder groan. I always have to have a Plan B every time I leave my house just in case something happens.
For those who may not know, I had a stroke almost two years ago. My recovery process has been challenging, things are getting better. While my disability is temporary (movement is coming back slowly); others aren't so lucky.
Some people got scared looking at me because my stroke happened at a young age. I ate right. I worked out and lost 20 pounds prior to my stroke. I saw my doctor a few days before it happened and I'd develop new goals for the year. I had no stroke warning signs. That scared all of my doctors; it scared me, too.
Some people have admitted that the whole process of dealing with Social Security Disability was embarassing and they don't like to talk about it. You are at your worst health wise and Social Security wants you to wait five months before they will pay you money that is rightful yours. That is so wrong. Our Federal Government doesn't care how you live. They don't care how you struggle to build your life. They are more concerned about fraud.
I'm so glad, I am a saver. If I had to depend on Social Security during the waiting period, I would have lost my house, my family and I would have been homeless,
and I couldn't have bought food or medicines I needed to get better. So much for a helping hand.
That's why I'm documenting my experiences in my memoir, When You're The Mommy. Being black is a bit easier than being disabled these days. America's population is getting older and the ADA law that was established more than 35 years ago still isn't fully implemented in this country. People, there's still work to be done.
Posted By: Marsha Jones
Monday, November 16th 2009 at 7:42AM
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