I know what it is like to bear shame because of a parent's mistake. When I was in elementary school, my father served about a year in Huntsville Prison in Texas for writing a hot check. Even at that young age, I was embarrassed and ashamed. Our visits to see him, though, were special occasions. My mother would rise early, fry chicken and make lunches for us for our 4 hour road trip.It was a seemingly long father absence for a youngster with no sense of time, but my mother was strong in her faith and prayers; focused in her purpose to encourage and demonstrate her love for our father. "He is a good man; just made a mistake," she'd say. Our father reached from behind the bars in his cell as a strict disciplinarian. He wanted to make sure my brothers and I did not make his mistake.
Upon winning the Heisman, Mark Ingram Jr., said much of the same about his father. Ingram said his father influenced him by "just being tough on me. Everything he did for me helped me become the man I am today on and off the field."
The first-round draft pick out of Michigan State, Mark Ingram Sr., began his career with the Giants and also played for the Miami Dolphins, Green Bay Packers and Philadelphia Eagles. In 2001, he was sentenced to six months in federal prison after he was caught with $3,290 in counterfeit cash. He served a year in jail in 2004 after pleading guilty to stealing a credit card from a Flint golf course. Ingram pleaded guilty in November 2005 to laundering money he believed to be proceeds from narcotics deals, as well as bank fraud for cashing counterfeit checks
I talk about father's absent from their children because of prison in "Black Men Stop!" CHAPTER FIVE, "Where are you?" The excerpt below:
"Once in the classroom, I was trying to explain to my students that they were not the only ones that must obey and follow rules to avoid being put in time-out, but that I and other grown-ups must follow rules, too, or else we are put in time-out. I told them that for children, it is a minute or so in the “time-out chair.” But for grownups, like me who should already know better, it is far worse. I continued that it meant jail or prison for many, many days, sometimes years.
One of my students, a little boy, interrupted and announced to the class that his uncle was in time-out jail, but that his uncle said it was not that bad. Not wanting to condemn his uncle, especially to him or his classmates, I ended the discussion. But his uncle is a liar. No matter how tough a man is outside, time-out behind bars hurts the inside. Nobody wants to be in prison or have their freedom taken away.
Men in prison, when you get the opportunity, tell your children and anyone else’s that asks, that punishment in jail or prison is no fun and encourage them to do everything possible to stay out of trouble.
I hope you write your children letters, draw them pictures, take personal responsibility, and tell them that you are sorry. I hope you caution them against displaying bad, inappropriate, and unlawful behavior. I hope you use your unfortunate decision to do a crime, to teach them how not to.
I hope you detail to your children the horrors of prison and the real deal about punishment. Tell your children about the dangers, the violence, the loneliness, the s*x between men, the wasted time, the difficulty it predicts for your life when you come out, the citizenship it takes away from you, and the trust you will always long for, but may never again be able to get from anyone. This is not the time to be 'handling yours' or be some macho man. You want your children to never, ever take prison life lightly and carelessly go to that time-out place.
That is all I have to say about that."
by Gail Smallwood
http://tinyurl.com/blackmenstop Official Release Date-February 2, 2010
Buy an advanced copy today!!
Posted By: g smallwood
Sunday, December 13th 2009 at 1:46PM
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