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Based on the Work of Oscar Barbarin, PhD, Professor at the University of North Carolina School of Social Work, http://ssw.unc.edu/RTI/presentation/PDFs/a... Parenting and Discipline African American families tend to be more hierarchical and are more likely to be strict, to hold demanding behavioral standards, and to use physical discipline. Such strictness is, however, balanced within a context of strong support and affection. Physical punishment among African American families usually doesn’t result in the same negative outcomes as it does for white children. Do you use physical discipline with your child or children, or do you feel physical discipline should be against the law?
Posted By: Maryanne Campbell
Tuesday, May 11th 2010 at 10:06PM
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Physical discipline in the African-American family has its roots in slavery. Most African-Americans over 45 years of age can identify with the "switch, extension cord, razor strap, belt, bloom handle, hair brush, shoe and frying pan". All of which, and more, were used to discipline slaves. This form of punishment to keep people in line carried over into the liberation period of the African here in America.
The "whip" is what we are accustomed to seeing, in regards to a slave master and his "property". Even the term "Cracker", is derived from the cord on the end of a stick that makes a cracking sound when flicked. When white carriage drivers in the South snapped their whip at their horses or black people in passing they were referred to as Cracker (They even had a political party).
There is no reason to discipline a child by "Flogging". Due to the fact that we have been conditioned to believe that "beating" is right, it is a punishment that a child will remember for the rest of his/her life, just as you do.
Talk with your children. A good conversation has a greater effect on the psyche of a child than brute force. I even remember conversations with my grandmother, where I would have rather had a beating than the talk (I think we all have those memories too).
Talk with your child. Western ways and values of corporal punishment is destructive to the psychological and physical wellbeing of any human being.
Sunday, May 30th 2010 at 12:08PM
Dr. Okpara Nosakhere
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I admit to physically disciplining my niece when she was about 3, I was working on a research paper for college. There was a paper clip lying on the floor and she picked it up and was about to insert the paper clip inside one of the wall outlets in my bedroom. After explaining to her why I spanked her, I vowed to never do it again.
Today I would never ever advocate putting your hands on a child. I would never advocate cursing at your child. I encourage brothers and sisters all the time that all you have to do is just talk to your child sternly and they will submit to your authority. Disciplining your child (ren) can be done without getting physical.
Sunday, May 30th 2010 at 1:02PM
Siebra Muhammad
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Hello to All,
Before I began, FYI to Mr. Nosakhere. You do not have the privilege of deleting my comment on Campbell’s blog, now do you? So, what is the sense in deleting someone’s comment if you disagree with it? Should you not rational and intelligently voice your disagreement?
The issue of disciplining Black American children and not African American children is not rooted in slavery. The chaos of Black Americans raising their children is rooted in the interference of white America across-the-board.
For instance, Black Americans for the most part were producing respectable and disciplined children at home and at school in our own way. I know that some children you can talk to and some children you cannot talk to them. Some children understand being talked to while some children understands the strap.
I remember when if I missed behaved or misspelled a word in school the teacher would hit me with a ruler in my hand for the misspelled word and my behind for misbehaving. Nevertheless, we grew up to love and respect our teachers as well as our elders, am I right. Using corporal discipline is a cultural and racial issue. However, our right to discipline our children as we see fit lasted until White America pass laws against our way of disciplining our children. Therefore, the chaos that Black Americans are buried under is the undue influence that White America holds on our entire population here in White America. Am I making any sense?
The public schools began to encourage Black American children that their parents could not hit them and if they do, the child is to report the incident to the school officials. Many parents were between a rock and a hard place. Children became unmanageable and parents became fearful to discipline their children. You all know the times that I am referring. It was at this point that broke down the discipline parents had over their children. What I am talking about began in the early 80s by White America to destroy the disciplinary structure of the Black American family, am I right.
Now, without further discussion whether I have a valid point or whether you have a valid point the fact remains that Black American children are not being disciplined. So, how do we permanently resolve this matter? Should we desire to be a sovereign people on a portion of this continent that we could call our very own country with borders to avoid the influence of White America? Or, do any of you think that Black Americans are not influenced, subjugated and controlled by White America? Am I saying something that you all cannot handle? Or, am I lying?
What say you?
Sunday, May 30th 2010 at 2:45PM
Harry Watley
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My kid is 8 and I put hands on him only ONCE — and afterward he asked why couldn't I have just talked with him? He was about 5 then. That being said, if you've got an out of control kid (like my oldest was when she came to stay w/me at 9), then you do what you gotta do. Through many closed door "sessions" I took an out of control, wanna-be-hard 9 y/o girl-thug and returned to her mom the teacher's pet of the year. Came with All Fs & Ds and left with all As in the last semester.
If you are a parent 24/7, 365, then the answer should be simple: physical punishment shouldn't be necessary because you lead by example which INCLUDES teaching opportunities and reprimands. The exception(s) being similar to Siebra's case.
Sunday, May 30th 2010 at 4:45PM
Craig Amos
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Craig, great point. As a school administrator, I hear a lot of parents complain about "I can't handle my child, I tried talking to them and withholding things from them." Nowadays, the government has taken over most of our Black families that's why some parents can't disclipline their children.
When I was a child growing up in New Orleans, when a man/woman has a family, he/she was responsible for that family! Their entire family was under their care and protection and therefore the parents had to make sure the children were disciplined and obedient to authority.
Even the First Lady herself admitted to Dateline NBC to spanking one of her girls once. But she later realized that there is a thin line between discipline and abuse.
It's all about balancing discipline with LOVE.
Sunday, May 30th 2010 at 6:55PM
Siebra Muhammad
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"Craig does you children tell you to shut up???? Do you accept them insulting you because they think different..."
Uh, no.
"...do you teach your children to treat Christians as they see you do or just the oppoist?? "
As they see me do? And, how is that exactly? My family knows my beliefs, I don't have to dramatize. If they do that, they're cool.
Sunday, May 30th 2010 at 7:52PM
Craig Amos
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I have learned the word "shut up" is used by an insulunt jackazz with has a limited vocabulary!!
Sunday, May 30th 2010 at 9:08PM
Cynthia Merrill Artis
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Mom, you sound like Bernie Mac right now (LOL)...I think we are all guilty of bribing our kids in some way. My niece is 13 and she's the exact opposite of myself like I was a child...I am the only girl in the family and grew up as the quiet one (LOL).
And yes Mom I totally agree that we must teach our children that hitting any one for any reason is wrong. But considering the extreme prejudices in this world we must also encourage them to stand up for themselves, speak up for themselves.
Sunday, May 30th 2010 at 9:39PM
Siebra Muhammad
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Hello to All,
The question is do Black Americans have the authority to discipline their children as they once did as we see fit?
All of the stuff that you all are talking about where does it end? The question is about Black Americans.
Are we doing better or worse when it comes to discipline than our children? If we are, doing worse then the question is why we are doing worse. Are we ever going to reach a consensus? Or are we going to continue talking rubbish?
Not all children should be whipped and not all children should be talked to, am I right. However, was the authority taken away from Black American parents by White America to discipline their children?
Now let us have a consensus since most of us are parents.
Tell me what you think.
Sunday, May 30th 2010 at 11:47PM
Harry Watley
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Now to answer your question, yes I did whip my children and I did get whippings, but I have never had my parents have to come to court nor have I ever had to go to court for my children nor my children for their children...so it is the parents house and yes I believe they should make the rules...
an, adult should not be playing the role of the child nor the child playing the role of the adult...(smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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Maryanne, every time I see a question like this, I feel proud of I have been on this earth almost 68 years now and I have yet seen a Black child in a grocery store being bribed to put that back, get over here,listen to me, stop hitting you sister, ect. as the child continues as if you have not only said anything, but that you had better stop bothering him-her or they will get even worst. (smile)
I WONDER WHY?!? lol...
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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Anyone who needs permission to make rules to make your house a home raise your hands.lol...
anyone like me takes being told to 'shut up to your face react to this as if someone has spit in their face, raise their hands...
anyone whose shild comes home and said _______ slaped me so "I"turn and ran away is proud of their child, raise your hand...
Me, I am passive until that button that sould never be pushed is pushed...but, my youngest daughter, some times I wonder if she has a button that can not be pushed at the slightest thing...
But, that's life and if one son't go looking for trouble most of the time there will ot be any toruble to be found, "I" believe. (smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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An expert in failuar teaching everyone else how to succeed ...
oh, well, even "I" admit if one is only teaching others how to succeed and not one's own self then there is nothing wrong with this...(smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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Siebra, "I" am so proud of you for still following our cultural'S oral teacHings that is being taught in our BIA study class...
WE MUST SLAP THOSE HANDS OF OUR CHILDREN IN ORDER TO KEEP THOSE SAME HANDS FROM 'BEING CUT OFF' SO TO SPEAK BY OUR PREJUDICE SOCIAL NORMS"
(SMILE)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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NOW "I" WILL ASK THIS OF ALL OF US...AS I DON'T BELIEVE TAHT SHOTING PEOPLES CAME OUT OF THE SLAVE ERA...SO "I" WANT TO KNOW WHEN DID OUR CHILDREN BEGAN TO TAKE GUNS TO SCHOOLS...
WAS IT BEFORE WE WERE GOING TO JAIL FOR WHIPPING OUR CHIILDREN (SEVERLY OR LIGHTLY) OR AFTER WE WERE LIMITED BY 'LAW' TO ONLY TALKING TO, TIME OUTS...
NOR DID TURNING PRISONS INTO RESEVATIONS OR FOR WEARHOUSING BLACKS SOMEHTING THAT CAME OUT OF THE SLAVE ERA OR IS THIS AN EXTENTION OF SLAVERY UNDER A DIFFERENT NAME...(SMILE)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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Clark, "I" am not able to understand how our natural instinct and our rejections of not being treated as human fits into we need to be TAUGHT THESE THINGS...AND, LIKE I REJECT THE BELIEF TAHT WE DO NOT HAVE EXTENDED FAMILY TO HELP GUIDE US OR THAT NOTION TAHT IF EVEN TODAY WE DON'T HAVE A MALE-FATHER IN TEH HOME TAHT THE MOTHER IS THE WORST THING WE CAN HAVE IN OUR LIVES...ALSO, CASE CLOSED!!!!
AND, WHY "I" AM ABOUT TO CREAT A POST ABOUT THIS VERY THING..(SMILE)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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any body know that war is not declared to make friends...and if any of us are saying that we teach our children to allow themselves to be bullied as the best thing they can do so stop compaining to me when it up sets them..I was taught that I was to walk away but if this did not work proect self any way Icould...
Craig does you children tell you to shut up???? Do you accept them insulting you because they think different...do you teach your children to treat Christians as they see you do or just the oppoist??
Siebra do you have to bribe you child to listen to you in public...I doubt if we teach any of our children that getting a beating at home is wrong but not out in public so don't hit anyone if they hit you even if it is with a base ball bat...hitting any one for any reason is wrong
If in my house anyone my child or anyone else try to take over my being the head of my house hold is in for a rude awaken...as I have said on this stie before...I am my children's best friend, but this never over rule that I am the adult not them...bakc 40 years and fast forward fourt years...today is is from respect and tahnks for my whipping their azz...
actually I had a brother to call me a feew years back to thank me for being so hard on him...he had had one close friend die from an over dose of drugs way back when my brother was about 17 and he took none of that drugs his friend did because he knew he would have to face me...as the oldest I was responsible for my sisters and brothers as all of the adults went to work. (smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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..and, because experience is the best teachers. do as my friends do...the ones who fead, shleter and dress the child should be the ones doing the discliplining...two of my friends children tried calling the police onec because they found out that they were so glad when their mom finaly came to get them and bring them home that ...THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME"
(SMILE)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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cRAIG, "I" only asked you that quwstons to try and get an over all view of just how proud you child is of you...
we "I" bleieve too often over look that words can cause our children long term mental problems...and, at least fo rm mental abouse is the worst form of chld abuse thee is..one can over come a bruse or a physical scar, but some words, actts by the role model of a child can never recover from... CHILD NEEDS CONSTANSTANCE IN THEIR LIVES GROWING UP...THAT DO AS I SAY DO AND NOT AS I DO CAN BE CONFUSING TO A CHILD...AND THEY OFTEN AE UNABLE TO HEVE SELF ESTEME, BECAUSE OF THIS SOUBT OF WHAT IS RIGHT AND WRONG THINGS FOR THEM TO DO/NOT DO....
WE SHOULD NEVER TREAT CHILDREN LIKE THEY ARE LITTLE ADULTS BECAUSE THEY STILL HAVE NO SENSE OF 'INTENT' YET...
(SMILE)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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