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The Queen's Chair: I'm Not The Only One That Lives Here (478 hits)

"The worst thing about work in the house or home, is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste, or eaten within 24 hours."

Don't I know it. In my house, I refer to this as "double cleaning." I hate doing this. When I give my long speech (as my teen refers to it), this is what annoys me most. I make it a point to clean up the house when I go to bed. I never know who might show up in the morning.

When I was ill, my children didn't care how our home looked. I don't want dishes left over night in the sink, plates and cups left on the table, clothing scattered all over the house on the floor, or blankets not folded and put back in their proper place. Empty water pitchers or ice cube trays...lawd, lawd, lawd. The sight of those things makes me want to scream.

Constantly, I am reminding them that I don't live here by myself and I didn't make this mess. They have to clean up after themselves. I'm not a slave. My name isn't Hazel or Florence. I don't enjoy doing housework, it's one of those "necessary" evils that has to get done. Just because I'm home most of the time, I have other work to do and writing deadlines to meet.I am a professional, working journalist/author. I may have done things for them when they were younger because they couldn't, but now they can.

Don't want to hear that thy are sick, hungry or they have homework to do. When I was a working mom in Corporate America and at home, nobody cut me any slack. I stayed up all night with kids and got maybe three hours of sleep, but I still had to go in. I met deadlines. Had horrible morning sickness. Went out in the cold rainy night at 3:30 a.m. to purchase cough medicine for an ill child. Cleaning up after yourself doesn't even begin to pay me back.

Mommies who work outside of the house are deemed "super women." That's just not true. Mommies juggle and manage many jobs where children are concerned. Besides being my daughters's coaches, cooks, teachers, pediatricians, and counselors, I add counselors, music instructors, cheerleaders and school helper to the many hats I wear. There are a lot of days, I don't get sleep. Nobody really cares because this type of sacrifice is expected of moms.

These days, I'm trying to get some of my independence back and preparing my kids for a cruel world. I won't be with them every step of the way and I'm not following them to college to play housekeeper for them either. As girls, they have to be able to take care of themselves and to be neat and tidy. They will be judged on that, their appearance and so much more.

As they grow up, I'm still mom, but my role will change. They will do more for themselves, I'll make sure of that. My mom always said she worked harder at home than at work. Never understood what she meant until I became a mom. As a writer, I schedule and conduct interviews. I get up at 5 a.m. and while they are getting ready for school, I'm writing. Cleaning up before I go to bed gives me extra time to write in the morning. It's one less thing to worry about.

It's a string of constant reminders five times a day...sometimes more. Little voices challenging your authority.I like my house clean. If I left something neat; I expect it to stay that way. Clean ups and dealing with wanna-be-adults who think they know everything: they don't. My house, my rules. I'm sure every mom out there understands exactly where I'm coming from.
Posted By: Marsha Jones
Thursday, February 3rd 2011 at 5:10PM
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