A 9-year-old girl was made a ward of the state in New Zealand during a custody battle. The reason? The child’s name was considered abusive. Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii. Yes, that was the name her parents put on her birth certificate.
The child was so embarrassed by her name that she lied about it to friends. But there was a greater problem with what I guess was an attempt at humor on the part of her parents at their child’s expense.
“The court is profoundly concerned about the very poor judgment which this child's parents have shown in choosing this name,” wrote Judge Rob Murfitt . “It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap, unnecessarily.”
The judge changed her (which was sealed to protect the child’s privacy). But I wish this judge lived in the United States and could file charges against people who name their children Alize, Lexus, Tanqueray, and any other liquor or car.
Your name is perhaps one of the most valuable things you can have as a person. It defines you and in many ways it is your calling card. The care or lack there of that a parent takes in naming a child can either set them up for a huge success or a lifetime of anguish, pain and suffering and failure.
I had an aunt who named her firstborn son something she thought was a Muslim name. She couldn’t spell it nor did she know what it meant. The awkward spelling led to teasing as teacher after teacher attempted to pronounce this name. This cousin of mine would get frustrated and was angry all of the time. He ended up in and out of jail most of his adult life. Now I’m not saying for sure that his name was the sole cause of his lack of achievement, but…
Why saddle a kid from the very beginning with a name that neither he nor she can carry. It’s tough enough trying to grow up in certain neighborhoods, why add that to the equation?
I have a rather common name. There are millions of Karens in the world. There is even a Karen Hunter who is a musician (I found this out when I tried to register KarenHunter.com). Heck, there was a Karen Hunter in my grade school in East Orange, NJ. But I know the story behind why I was named Karen. My parents used to tell me often when I was growing up. They took time and care picking out my name and while it was common, it was very special to them, which made it very special for me. They even told me about my middle name and how it was going to be Donna, (my dad’s name is Donald), but it didn’t sound right between Karen and Hunter.
I do believe that my parents’ care in selecting my name had a spiritual correlation to the person I ended up becoming.
I wish more parents would take the time and put more thought into the name of their child—especially kids growing up in tough areas who are starting off with a strike or two against them
It’s fine to give your child a unique name—all I’m saying is think first about what that child’s future might be carrying that name. Give your child a fighting chance.
Yes, there are actors and celebrities who can get away with naming their children Apple and Scout, Moon Unit and Paris, Hiraani Tiger and Dweezil. They’re rich. Their children most likely will not have to fight for a job to make ends meet to support a family. And therefore, their unique names become even more of a benefit.
But if you’re poor and black and your name is Alize, it’s unlikely that you will end up becoming president of a company, let alone president of the United States (picture that).
Speaking of which, Barack Hussein Obama. Some say it is a strange name. But it has meaning and that man knows that No. 1: He was named after his father, and No. 2: His name has meaning. Barack means blessing. Hussein is handsome and Obama, of course is the family name. He has the various definitions of his name on his website in a blog by one of his supporters.
Oprah Winfrey often tells the story of her unique name—a misspelling of the biblical figure Orpah. And Condoleeza Rice’s first name is a variation of a musical term con dolcezza, which means to play with sweetness. Her parents had a grand vision for their only child. Before becoming the first black woman to be Secretary of State, Rice certainly did play with sweetness as an accomplished pianist. She once played with the Denver Symphony at the age of fifteen.
What kind of story would be behind the naming of little Alize Smith (not a real person)?
“Ooh baby, I used to get high off of Red Passion and when I found out I was pregnant, I just knew that would be your name!”
Anyone doing something like that to a child ought to be arrested and charged with endangering the welfare of a child. Kudos to little Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii and her attorneys and Judge Murfitt for having better sense than her parents.
And if you think it’s fine to be named after a liquor or a car or something frivolous, I challenge you to give me some examples—outside of the arts—of people with these kinds of names who are making it happen. And if you find one or two, know that they are the exception, not the rule.
Email me at: thekarenhunter@mac.com
Posted By: Karen Hunter
Saturday, July 26th 2008 at 10:59AM
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