To blame the lack of having a father in the home for the reason that so many females conduct themselves in the manner of which they do these days, is only part of the truth.
The other fact is that these females are watching the actions and lack there of , of the woman in the home and those they come in contact with in their inner circles.
I am not a perfect lady. I have made my share of mistakes.
Their learning must take shape from the time they are born also. You see when she is a baby, but old enough to walk and talk. Under know circumstances should she be exposed to every man that you date, not should she be allowed to sit on his lap. She is not dating him you are.
This does not apply to all females, but for those that don't realize how their daughters are learning this behavior form them.
Yes you may be grown and yes you pay the bills and should be able to do what ever you want in your house, but she lives there also.
She is learning how to carry herself by how you carry yourself.
She is learning how to be treated by a man, based on how you allow yourself to be treated.
She is learning how to talk to a man based on how you talk to a man.
If all she hears from you is that a man must buy her things (a materialistic view) then you are teaching her that she can be bought by things.
If you allow her to be apart of grown up conversation and do some of the things that grown ups do, then you can't be upset when she acts grown up with you. You can't have it both ways. If she is a child then let her be one.
No one gives us a hand book on how to raise our children. Any female can be a woman, but not all are ladies.
If you don't know your own worth and value as a woman, then you can't teach your daughter to know hers.
If you date a man that has another woman, then you are teaching her that it is ok to give a man permission to disrespect her and use her body for his own devices.
If you find yourself saving that it is better to have any man than no man at all, then you are teaching her to define her womanhood based on having a man in her life. When she should know that with or without a man, she is still a woman.
Cars, jewelry, money and clothes are material items that can be lost, stolen and broken. Self-respect, dignity, knowledge, education and self-worth are assets that no one can take away.
If you have half your ____ hanging out, then you are teaching her to leave nothing to the imagination and this in turn will attract the wrong type of attention.
Ask your self, do you want someone to be with you because of who you are or what they think you can do for them in the bedroom.
If you don't love yourself, then you are not teaching her to love herself.
It's not cute to see a little girl at the age of 8 acting, speaking and looking like a little woman. In fact it is damaging to her and it will present itself as she continues to grow.
I wanted to share this because of all the things that I may still need to learn one thing that I have learned is that my son would learn how to treat a woman based on how I allowed myself to be treated by a man and that my daughter would learn how to be treated by a man based on that same principle, but more importantly, she will learn how to carry her self like a lady based on how I carried my self.
So I ask again what are you teaching her?
Posted By: Marquerite Burgess
Sunday, August 3rd 2008 at 2:11PM
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