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Last night on the Brother Marcus Internet radio show, there was a panel discussion on this topic. The panel included: Dr. Harry R. Davidson, Author of two books which include, "God Save America: An Assault on Democracy, Religion and Reason;" "Somebody's Trying to Kill You: The Psychodynamics of White Racism and Black Pathology", Dr. Jesse Hargrove, Chair, Division of Education for Philander Smith College, Mercedes Terzol, author of the book, "999 Ways to Say No to a No Good Man", and Reverend Barbara Dixon, author of, "Seven Principles for Purposeful Living," “Opening to God as Source,” and “Who Told You?” We talked about, not only the problem, but we shared some solutions! Dr. Davidson gave a great overview of the root of the problem, Sister Mercedes Terzol, wise beyond her years, brought home the urgency of the need to reach a higher level of relationship, and Dr. Hargrove talked about the underdeveloped character of some African Americans. In general we agreed that although many of the contributing factors where not our ‘fault’, it is our responsibility to change and grow. I am giving away one of my tools for clarifying values, The Four Cornerstones of Wealth, as a gift to listeners. It will be available for 1 week as a download. My web site is www.mindfulresolutions.net. One of the things that we agreed upon was the media’s involvement in the erosion of our values. We all agreed that we need to control the information and ideas that come into our minds. The Brother Marcus Show is what we need more of, responsible media. You can tune in to Brother Marcus’ show every Sunday night at 8:00 pm (EST). I honor him for his willingness to acknowledge the problems in our community; we cannot fix what we don’t acknowledge. Yes, we talked about the problem, but we also talked about solutions. You can hear the discussion. This was one heck of a show, so tune in! Go to www.blogtalkradio.com/brothermarcusshow, listen, and weigh-in. Let us know what ideas you have for solutions to this problem.
Posted By: Barbara Dixon
Monday, August 18th 2008 at 11:21AM
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Ms. Barbara, I think it's because not many people who get married recognize marriage as covenant. It's not recognized as a God-ordained, lifetime, binding, solemn relationship.
Among other things, your spouse is your best friend, your financial partner, your "ride or die" chic(k) or due, your "homey, lover, friend"... all of that and then some.
The a spiritual depth that should exist between a man and a woman before they even enter into covenant that these days, just ISN'T. You got people marrying for money, looks, status, prestige, appearances, etc. Motives for marriage are not really honorable so whereas it's a legally binding contract (worldy), it is not a God-ordained covenant, and therefore, not taken all that seriously.
Just some food for thought...
Blessings...
P.S.- Thanks for posting this topic.
Monday, August 18th 2008 at 1:06PM
Dee Gray
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A situation close to that hits semi-close to home ( I am not the woman) And to be honest, I dont know. The one couple I know that practice adultry have been doing it for years, and Im starting to think they`re spouses know! Its not OK and it shouldnt be tolerated in America.
Monday, August 18th 2008 at 1:30PM
Chamieka House
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Chamieka, that's because many folk just don't view it as covenant. It's not taken all that seriously. It's like I said earlier:
"The a spiritual depth that should exist between a man and a woman before they even enter into covenant that these days, just ISN'T. You got people marrying for money, looks, status, prestige, appearances, etc. Motives for marriage are not really honorable so whereas it's a legally binding contract (worldy), it is not a God-ordained covenant, and therefore, not taken all that seriously."
And Mr. Maxwell, you're right about the type of people who are getting married these days. That goes back to motive. Some of us are getting married and still living single.
My husband ain't perfect...and neither am I...not by any stretch of the imagination...but we ARE perfect for EACH OTHER.
Blessings...
Monday, August 18th 2008 at 1:36PM
Dee Gray
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Dee, I agree with you. Marriage has become something that is a day by day relationship. Everybody is out for themselves, you have people who do not bring anything into the relationship except for hardships and expectations of the person they are marrying to bring them out of it. Marriages are no longer ordained by God, everyone has got caught up in this free will thing that things that are to be covenant, ordained and by God is no longer in the things of man (kind). The institution of marriage has gone out of the window. Especially when you have people in the spot light fathering children outside their marriages and going public with it. The media does not help things either, it seems as though the destruction of marriages, people and family is a big thing in the media.
Monday, August 18th 2008 at 4:53PM
Cheryl Hendrix
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Cheryl, you're right! And it's disheartening! It's sad on so many different levels. And the world doesn't seem all that opposed to it although it spends a lot of time complaining about high divorce rates.
And not many people want to talk about the REAL ISSUES because at some point in an issue like this, the spiritual side of the whole foundation and premise OF marriage will certainly enter the conversation. And not very many people are willing to go there because so many are in to what THEY will and not what GOD wills.
Blogger, thanks for posting this. The subject is so timely, it's eerie!!! LOL.
;-)
Monday, August 18th 2008 at 5:30PM
Dee Gray
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Dee you are right. Marriage is no longer ordained by GOD. Too many people are lost in the world and using the worlds guidelines or instructions on how to do everything and ignoring the wisdom that the LORD gave us in his word.
"My son pay attention to my wisdom, listen well to my words of insight, that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge. For the lips of an adulteress drips honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as a gull, sharp as a double edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. She gives no thought to the way of life; her paths are crooked, yet she knows it not."--Proverbs 5:1-6
"Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold, though it cost him all the wealth of his house. But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away; for jealousy arouses a husband's fury; and he will not accept any compensation; he will refuse the bride, however great it is. Proverbs 6:30-35
People no longer follow the Word of the LORD. They are too up in the world, doing whatever makes them happy. Is there any surprise that we are where we are?
Monday, August 18th 2008 at 7:33PM
Ebone Evans
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Amen! ;-)
I love that you always come with the Word, Felicia.
Monday, August 18th 2008 at 11:35PM
Dee Gray
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Irma, marriage (at least Biblically) is between ONE man and ONE woman. It's a single covenant. When a married man breaks covenant with his wife (s*x, for example), he has committed adultery. The same goes for a woman who does likewise.
You're married, right? If YOUR husband sleeps with another woman, HE has committed adultery. (You WOULD have a problem if your husband slept with another woman, wouldn't you?) Does using an example closer to home help to clarify the issue?
Thursday, August 21st 2008 at 12:03PM
Dee Gray
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Irma, you said:
"Does it count if my husband sleeps with another person and no one knows about it?"
***** Are you SERIOUS? *****
Irma, YOU know what I mean. If marriage is between * 1 * man and * 1 * woman, and one cheats (ie- has s*x with someone OTHER THAN his/her *1 wife* or *1 husband* ... THEN that husband or wife has committed adultery.
Here's the Dictionary.com definition:
"voluntary s*xual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse. "
I'm not sure what you mean, but have I clarified what I mean? I'm a Christian, so my definition of adultery is quite simple. I don't know how other cultures see it, and whereas I might be interested in knowing just for the sake of education, as for me and MY house, we will serve the Lord.
Blessings...
Thursday, August 21st 2008 at 3:33PM
Dee Gray
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Irma, so you ACTUALLY mean to tell me that if your husband cheated on you, you wouldn't think he was cheating? If so, does HE know that?
I find it hard to believe you wouldn't call that cheating. Why get married if each of you can have free reign to do as you please? You know what? Never mind. He's your husband and you're his wife...each of you should have it your way like Burger King...none of my business. Do you, Boo...do you. :-)
Anyway, what Bill and Hillary did...or for that matter...what any husband and wife do DOES NOT CHANGE THE DEFINITION of adultery.
It means what it means and there's no spin or debate to be levied against it. If you're married and you have s*x with anybody other than your spouse, you HAVE COMMITTED ADULTERY. PEER EEEE UD.
I am so curious though. How do you take your reasoning from the middle of the field to the edge of a cliff? What I mean is that you take the LEAPS of logic that have nothing to do with the subject at hand and then you convince yourself that somebody has something against you and the way you live your life...or like there's a concerted conspiracy to "be mean to Irma" or "to judge Irma" or "to tell Irma how she should live" or "to criticize Irma." Like I said before, it's not a conspiracy.
Nobody is trying to tell you how to live your life and no one is trying to modify your thinking. (I mean this with all due respect, but honestly, half the time, I can't make sense of some of it because you seem to find correlations with SOME things where there aren't any...at least IMHO).
Blessings...
Thursday, August 21st 2008 at 6:10PM
Dee Gray
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Oh, even in no divorce Italy now that women have gotten a few more legal and civil rights granted, they to can seek a divorce. This has placed more pressure on me to say more to do with a given society's rules of that given time than any thing else.Besides can someone be married with a government giving them permission to do so, like granting a marriage liscense on spicific conditions, even if the two people are total strangers?Just fill out the forms for marriage or divorce with the government's say so.....
The subject was adultry was it not? Oh, well but some things are not so general as this topic claims....or we would not need divorce lawyers...I believe adultry has even been taken out of the legal system in this state as related to marriage.
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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Here goes Irma again with another stupid question, like what is adultry?There are as many things that gives this w ord a problem, at least for me. Like is it adultry if you sleep with your second wife/husband and not your firsthusband/ wife only? You know the 'until death is not until divorcepart of the marriage vow??! Your partner has had a stroke, has a broken back can not have s*x with you on doctor's orders or it will be harmful for your wife/husband.What about the three time married mayor of N.Y. as compared to John Edwards? The mayor is Catholic where divorce is forbidden. It is the Pope that can grant you a div orce on the condition that you are rich or famous enough to get a meet with him.Has that mayor been seen as a social out cast whose's many wives, I do not believe has been very sickor sick at all. Their only 'cheating' is they grew older during the marriage.
It is things like this that cause me to ask, what is adultry any way except a social out look on the matter? I will just stick with me it is biology that has something to do with repoducing humans to produce more of the same. but, then there is cloning....
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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Does it count if my husband sleeps with another person and no one knows about it? And the divorce part I mentioned was as always over looked altogether as people do get divorced and remarried? What if there are different kinds of marriages as they are; are this the same covenant? Dee you know what I mean. Each church has a different vow, city hall,people making their own vows as they do today. So is it the wedding vows?
Is it the s*x? Some husbands go to prison for raping their wives? There are just too many differents things involved with human behaviors. Say the man/woman do not want the same styles of s*x....or at the same time of day....No one(is the way I look at it)can control another's behavior, desires or needs.
A 60 year old woman can love and marry a 20 year man who loves her back but he wants s*x every few hours....A 21 year old female can marry an 80 year old on s*x pills. She has to be at work he wants s*x...Who controls this covenant as women today have full control over their lives and their body if, they choose to do so.
They do not have to marry the brother in law or be amonge many other wives....Now what was that about one man and one woman? I will not bring up the father and daughter are male and female.
I will cause no more distractions.O.K??
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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As, for me, I see Bill aand Hillary Clinton as rich, powerful "poster marriage role model" for being in the White house and making millions and millionsof $. s*xual behavior almost got them thrown out of the White house and socially accepting of Bill Clinton's getting disbarred over s*xual behaviors, called by some female news paper reporters as female s*xual abuse...Hillary calling it her proof of LOVE for Bill...all over looked now with hopeful voters ready to forgive and for get and send them back into the White House as representatives of American values???????
And, I am nuts/misunderstood...please...I am not going there....
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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And as for my husband, he not I must answer for his own behavior.as I do not depend on him to live my life or make my choices or to be happy even...so I go about concerns for what others do that I do not know about as absolute trust in how much I love and respect that I can live with or without another person in my life ...or " what is the sound of a one handed man clapping"? "if a tree falls in the woods and there is no one there does it make a sound"? Every thing is RELIVANT to me......I life only one life at a time , my own
Over and Out!!!!
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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Is it not great that the dictionary does not have words like:incest, divorce, rape, no longer in love with one's husband/wife who just killed all of your children then wants to have s*x or lets try that "obey- love your husband bit" or is that not in the dictionary either? They are all in mine and also in my world where I live, as I refuse to pick and choose words/conclusions/opinions to fit my ego (which to me ego means personal -subjective satisfaction)...again every thing to me is relative,remember?????
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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If anyone out there cry when a loved one dies or visits a doctor , please stop trying to correct how I look at my own life in a logical not and emotinal driven manner. It is my choice to agree with "if it works do not fix it"! If it does not work for you then try it another way; but not by trying to fix it for/to fit someone else who have chosen to ask you not to do this.
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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I will say this then let it go.I know if I am married or not marriedbut you do not. Sort of what I maen about my husband cheating or not.....I will never take it upon myself to marry someone then expect/even want to know where that person is 100% of the timethat we have had the same last name for the past 48 yearsand counting now. I am this way because as I said and will repeat, I can and only want to live one life, my own.I trust my husband and as he is not an extention of me; he also should be happey not knowing or caring what I do or do not do every minute of my life. As what others do with their lives is their business not mine.
I say I am married and it is up to the person listening to believe me or not.But it does not change the status of the "definition" of we signed a marriage liscense, because we did. This is why I keep saying that truth is relivant, end of story. And, by the way I am much older than my husband, he is half white(very light skin) and I am very dark. We love and respect that we love and respect each other's privacy and accept that we are our own person. It works for us and that is all that matters.If his is a sin, wrong, unacceptable then live with it. As this is your choice and your right.
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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...I meant to say"truth is relative"...and as logic says, if one refuses to understand the view point of another then one has only their own chosen ignorance to depend on because ingorance is the same as prejudice-discrimintaion-exclusion and so on and so forth....PEACE. A close mind is aceptable to some for personal satisfaction (and to each its own)as wisdom is a totaly different action or as the saying goes 'ball game'.
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
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