Out of wedlock births in the black community: When is enough, enough?
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Posted By: Joshua Sewell on August 02, 2009 In 2007, 4.3 million babies were born in the United States. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 1.7 million babies were born out of wedlock. In addition, statistics showed that 28 percent of Caucasian women gave birth out of wedlock, 51 percent of Latinas gave birth out of wedlock, and 72 percent of African American women gave birth out of wedlock. Why is the percentage of babies born out of wedlock highest in the African American community? The answer to this question lies somewhere in-between the slavery era and the current era. Back in the 1800s, African Americans believed more in two parent households, for the percentage of births out of wedlock was 20 percent. Even during the civil rights movement, the percentage of births out of wedlock was only 23 percent. Segregation, despite the pain and suffering endured by African Americans, influenced the way black families ran their households. For instance, African Americans were forced to be self sufficient by having their own business, restaurants, and neighborhoods. Caucasians would not allow themselves to be associated with African Americans; therefore, they treated black people like they didn’t count. We, as African Americans, should find a way to decrease the number of babies born out of wedlock in our community. In order to curve the percentage of child births out of wedlock in the black community, there are two drastic changes that need to take place; first, we need to denounce the term “baby daddy” in our community and replace it with the term “husband”; second, we need our black men to be a father to their children, for this will spark the change needed for prosperity. First of all, our community has to realize that the term “baby daddy” is not something to be proud of. Television shows, like the Maury Povich Show, are prime examples of how our community exploits the term “baby daddy.” For example, the Maury Povich Show has aired numerous episodes exploiting African American men and women, by giving them the opportunity to settle paternity cases on air, while the rest of the world views it as entertainment. In the late 90s, B-Rock, a rap artist, released the hit single titled “My Baby Daddy.” Furthermore, the song was accompanied with a music video that degraded our black men and women by praising the term “baby daddy.” Unfortunately, the song became the anthem for our black community. Although the world of entertainment has made the term acceptable in our community through songs, music videos, and television, it is up to us, the parents, to decide when enough is enough. We can no longer expose our black community to such ignorance. In addition to our black youth being influenced by entertainment, the adults are affected, as well. During the civil rights movement, the term “baby daddy” wasn’t being used at all; moreover, at the time, the vast majority of our black community raised their children in two parent households in holy matrimony. As a result, the percentage of babies born out of wedlock by African American women was only 23 percent. Somehow, during the course of time, the value of having both parents present in the household faded away. In today’s society, African Americans, as a whole, have forgotten the importance of getting married before bringing newborn babies into the world. Our African American women play an important role in decreasing out of wedlock births; black women can decrease the percentage by getting married before they decide to have children. Our black women should set new standards for our black men to stand by, for black men will have more respect for women whom has good morals. So that our race doesn’t continue to produce the highest percentage of babies born out of wedlock, African Americans have to denounce the term “baby daddy” and replace the term with “husband.” By doing so, we will stop the cycle that has been present for the last couple of decades. Second, in order to decrease the number of babies born out of wedlock in the black community, African American men need to be a father to their children. Due to the fact that black men populate a good number of the prisons throughout the United States, the majority of single black women are forced to raise their kids alone. As a result, young African American women grow up looking for someone to fill the void in their life that their father couldn’t fill; the void is often filled by having a baby with their lover, without even considering marriage. In addition, young African American men are affected, as well. Without the father present in the household, young black men develop bitterness towards their father; however, our young black men tend to follow the same steps that their father did. It is time to put an end to what is known as a generation of curse. Black men, we are the leaders within our community. Our children need us present in the household to help mold them into productive citizens, so that they can be a benefit to society. Young black females need the special love and attention that only a father can provide them to fully satisfy them; young black males need their father to teach them how to be a responsible man. It is important for all African American fathers to maintain legit jobs to support our households. Our women and children depend on us to provide them with everything they need. In order for us to be able to support our families, we have to stay out of jail and start investing in our future by furthering our education, maintaining jobs, and being active in a two parent household. Let’s make a difference for our children. Now, I know that everybody may not agree that babies born out of wedlock within the black community is a problem that needs to be rectified; however, I felt the need to address the issue simply because I know what the affects are on our community. I am deeply concerned with how America views our black community. Furthermore, I am fully aware that marriage isn’t for everyone, but African American people have come way too far to start back tracking. We need more married couples in our black community. In today’s society, our freedom as African American people should be used to uplift one another; for we have the opportunity to show the world that we too are family oriented. This year, the United States of America made history by inaugurating its first African American president into the White House. Our president, Barack Obama, has set a new standard for our black community. President Barack Obama is a devoted husband and father to his wife and kids. In addition, during the early 90s, television shows, like the Cosby Show, Family Matters, and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, represented our black community suitably; but we need more television shows, like those I’ve mentioned, to set good examples of how our African American families should raise our children. Nowadays, Tyler Perry’s the House of Pain show is one of few African American television shows that shed light on our black community. During the civil rights movement, our ancestors had to endure countless acts of segregation; however, they fought for our rights, so that we could be apart of the American culture; so now is the time for us to show our gratitude. First, we must denounce the term “baby daddy” and we must replace it with the term “husband.” Second, our African American men need to have an active role in our children’s life. In addition, we, as African Americans, should raise our kids in two parent households in holy matrimony. The increase in out of wedlock births has already risen to more than 70 percent in the black community. When is enough, enough? References Raspberry, W. (2005, July).Why our black families are failing. The Washington Post, p.A19. Retrieved April 12, 2009, from http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/conte... Reid, M. (2006, April). First comes baby, then comes marriage? Retrieved April 12, 2009, from http://www.csmonitor.com/2006/0424/p09s02-... Revitz, J. (2009, April). Out of wedlock births hit record high. Busy moms staying afloat. Retrieved April 12, 2009, from http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/wayoflife/0... If you enjoyed this article, Join BlackInAmerica.com today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
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Joshua Sewell
Infiltration/Inflow Technician, City of Gainesville DeVry University class of 2012 Member Since August 2009 |
Comments
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Women are basically saying FORGET DADDIES and having babies on their own trying to find joy in life. Some women have tried to be successful with relating to a man and have failed . Some are too scared to even try to find love so they settle for being Baby Mamas instead. It is a problem on both sides. Men need to be more mature and practice safe s*x. Women need to find self esteem and self love without putting a baby in the middle of their mess.
Sunday, August 2nd 2009 at 11:48PM |
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The point I am trying to make is that we have to stop thinking that it is cool to just be "baby daddys" and "baby mamas" because in the end, our children to suffer. However, I do think that we still have intelligent, well-minded children who are capable of being productive citizens in the world. In addition, this is not a blog to put down our race because I love being black and I love all my black people; however, I am just bringing the stats to everyone's attention. Like Irma Robinson mentioned, "we do not get rid of our unborn to please the jones..." I totally agree; however, that does not change the fact that our African American families lack a two parent househld. And like Ms. Smith mentioned, "Man need to more mature and practice safe s*x. Women need to find self esteem and self love without putting a baby in the middle of thier mess." I couldn't have said it better.Furthermore, I am not saying that we have to be more like the "white race," I think we should be more of a united race. In addition, we need more positive role models in our black communities so that our children dot have to find those role models on television. Th people in the community play a major part on how our kids view the world; therefore, if the majority of our black community is just having children out of wedlock, then ouchildren will continue the cycle. I understand that marriage is not for everyone, but for those who think it is just a cute game to be a "baby daddy" or "baby moma" lets reset our standards and denounce those terms. T
Monday, August 3rd 2009 at 6:37AM |
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I agree with all of you on this blog. When I heard the story of Octomom, I thought the same as everyone else, "Oh my God, Why is she doing this? Why is she having all these children without the benefit of marriage?" I don't have any kids, though I have a niece I'm raising. But I was thinking like most people from the old school, they think that if a woman has out of wedlock kids she has the right to be labeled a ho, but when a man has several children out of wedlock it's a badge of honor. But women are not 100% to blame. It takes a man as well as a woman to make a baby. He is responsible too. I kinda think women have a slightly greater responsibility, simply because it is OUR bodies that will get pregnant. If men got pregnant, I'd say their responsibility was a bit greater. Anyways, with greater vulnerability should come greater responsibility. "My body my choice" should not apply only to abortion. That said I really do wish women (and men) would be more careful about who they sleep with. Way too many women go for men who have two or three kids by a couple different women and they aren't very involved. I guess they think they can change him or it will be different this time. Very sad for all involved, and so easy to avoid! Monday, August 3rd 2009 at 9:25AM |
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This is not to say I look down on men and women who do have babies outside of marriage. I look down on men and women who CONTINUE to have babies outside of marriage. I know a lot of friends who continue to have babies out of wedlock and right now they look at it as no big deal, but in a long run are going to wish that they never continued to have babies out of wedlock because they didn't understand what kind of responsibilities are involved. It also leaves them missing a vital part of what marriage is supposed to represent. My niece is almost 13 and I understand that as a parent I have to teach her that there is something wrong with having babies out of wedlock. When a man or woman has 1 child without the benefit of marriage it's okay to consider it a mistake because at the time you didn't know any better, but when it becomes baby after baby for person after person it's NOT a mistake. It's just plain old ASS-BACKWARDS. There's no better word to describe it. This may not be the 1300's anymore but just look around there is more STDs and HIV/AIDS cases and teenagers having babies these days than ever before. I work in the public school system and I find it truly disappointing when I hear stories of girls as young as 9 years old who become pregnant. It doesn't set an example for children if adults are having more than one child out of wedlock and look at it as being acceptable. I am sorry if I offend anyone but please don't think I am judging anyone. I am just saying if we as adults change our behavior then maybe we could set examples for our kids and reduce the numbers of STDs and teenage pregnancy. Monday, August 3rd 2009 at 9:46AM |
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slaves were brought to America to have babies-fields needed to be cultivated and BIA needs to accept the reality that BIA culture is rape and no morality, no family structure-grow up slaves-Our Leader President Baraka Hussein Obama represents the end of whiteChristianSupremacy-and the Change has to be accepted by the house and field negroes first--
Monday, August 3rd 2009 at 10:22AM |
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I don't look at our single black moms as a disgrace: not at all. In fact, I think that it takes a strong woman to be able to raise children without the help that is deserved; furthermore, just because a child is raised in a single parent household, it doesn't mean that he or she will not be a productive citizen to society. I trully understand that every circumstance is different; however, there are those who simple just look at being a mother/father as a fad: baby moma/baby daddy. Furthermore, some black men are taking advantage of our beautiful black women by feeding them lines of bs...and some black women are simlple allowing themselves to be baby momas just so they can say that so and so is my baby daddy. Just talking to some of my fellow sisters around my way about this situation made me feel bad because the things I hear from them are..."well, I really loved him and he wanted to have a child with me and he wants to start a family with me but...now he don't even come around...he has another girl pregnant too..." The only thing I c say back bsides I am sorry is the fact that the woman is not to blame, in that case because she was following her heart; however, the thing that has to change next time is you have to setyour own standards and stick to them, no matter how hard he preasures you and manipulates you. For example, if you want to be married with kids, save yourself until the right man comes around who will honor your wishes. Furthermore, if you have goals you want to accomplish, get with a man who will help get you there and who has goals of his own. Maybe things will turn out different, maybe it won't but atleast you will be able to say that you went into the relationship the way you wanted it to be. One more thing I would like to touch on. I am not saying that we have to me like "white america." Not at all. We have to build the house on top of the foundation that our ancestors have already layed down for us, years ago. What I mean by that is...Our ancestors fought til death for the opportunities that we have today. We owe the more than just to be labeled as baby momas and baby daddys. The problem I have as to do with the praises that our community give to the terms baby moma and baby daddy. In addition, we have children who don't all have to go get married and have kids and things of that nature, but we should atleast show hem a different aspect of life that is different from having the highest percentages in AIDS, out-of-wedlock births, abortions, etc. Lets show them how to accomplish their dreams by being positive role models and by having bith the mother and father involved in our childrens lives, even if the parents are not married. I promise you it will make a difference in the future of our black community. Remember, our ancestors have alreadlaid down the foundation, now it is up to us to build the house. Thank you all for you comments. I am inspired by you all. In addition, you all have opened my eyes to a different side of the whole situation. I apologize to all I have offended: not my intentions. I want to motivate a change but I felt like first you have to accept the bad in order to get to the good. Thanks again.
Monday, August 3rd 2009 at 11:35PM |
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When they start recording the aborted babys of White women, then you can come back to me with this kinds of reports, because we do not get rid of our unborn to please the Jones, but welcome all of the new borns as new members of the family...so as I said bring me the aboution statictics and we can deal!!!!(smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM |
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WE have got to stop trying to become the White race because we are not and we only open ourselves up for even more distruction. example, When did we ever know our childre to carry guns to schools when they went to all Black schools...When did our teens stop living in the homes of their parents when they were 13 and 14 until they could get pregnant and move out of the parents home? The welfare system found they could not distroy the family by not allowing the father in the home and the family could recieve welfare aos now it is the younge teen they take out of the home so thatt hey can never be able to become responsiable addults this way... WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!because by the time that child learns that life is more than a big party it is far too late... Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM |
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Joshua, If you are assuming that I was not born as a baby of a 16 year old single Strong Black female, you are wrong(smmile) If you do not believe that I say what I said has more to do with the make up of the Black culture it self again this is wrong. The family make up of the Black culture that is MOTHER based and not Father based as the White race is trying to teach me so that I pass it on to my children and them their children, then you are wrong, wrong, wrong. The White man did not give the White woman rights hunderd of centuries after they had rights in Mother African and were even given them by the White slave master during Chatel slavery in America then you had best go learn your own history before you try to agree or disagre with me...but my brother, I love and respect you for putting your thoughs out there as you are trying to bring unity and education and understanding and self respect to our people(smile) but, there is always another side of the story and here is where this site comes in for us to talk with each other and not just settle for "being talked about as only a label without individuals in our race...Thank you for this blog, my young brother and Black leader... Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM |
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What pisses me off with my own people is they have no idea that President Johnson started this whole mind set in America that the Black single mother is the cause of all that is wrong in America and W-E continue to say HOW RIGHT HE IS!!!!!! I can not remember the person who conducted this study as a social study professor, but after doing this study for the president he was in the Senate until Hillary Clinton took over his seat in N,Y. and here again only because we refuse to learn our own history we go out of our way to help the White race to demean us ALL. The Black female is revered by her children and the White man is trying to put a stop to this! W-A-K-E U-P This can not be donwe without our taking the lead in all of this!!!!! EXAMPLE, wHY DO WE NOT SEE HOW DURING THE ELECTION SINGLE UNWED MOTHERHOOD WAS PRAISED??????!!!!??? Hell even the Disney channel is praising single White unwed motherhood while we just keep on condemning our own mothers and yet when the White man comes after our children the first person they yell is help mom!!!!!! . Chris Brown was out there blaming his mother for his bad behavior...Our own president is an "angry Black man, all Blacks are "violent" and so on and so forth. This is our own fault...STOP IT, STOP IT STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are calling not just your own mother as unworthy or love and respect, you are talking about you:sisters, neices, cousins, and every female in our whole race as the reason we do not deserve equality or respect as a people as a race, as a culure,etc. Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM |
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Thank you brother Clark as I do believe I have a mental block against remembering this person's name(smile) I jump at every chance I can to let my people know that we have got to stop allowing the White man to force us to so readly deny that we have a culture where the brother, the uncle, the extended family male takes up the role of the father in our culture and always have done so...but most of all LEARN ABOUT YOUR RACE as these are things that have allowed us to survive for 400 years. for example, our young brotherJoshua has just experienced what W.E.B. Dubois meant by , "EACH ONE TEACH ONE". Which is what it is all about...We are a unique people because of our family orientated culture where the mother is the head of the household and we must not ever allow this to be taught our of our young as this must be carried from one generation to the next generation.Joshua, thank you as you are willing to listen and to think from all sides and this is what it is all about...EDUCATION about our culture and never abandoning our ties to the mother land Africa with help us get beyond one of the biggest threats to our race since chatel slavery. Crank cocaine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!This has our young men for the first time e-v-e-r turning against their own mothers..... Once again I will say that hte mother always have been able to provide food for the family since we were hunter gathers in Africa. the male may not come home with any meat from the hunt, but the mother had food from the breast milkto the fruits and nuts and roots she gathered that were always in season and in plenty... Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM |
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Joshua there is never any need for apologizing for being a part of dialoguing in an effort for all of us to get beyond being talked about to talking to and with each other as we do on this site. Your blog here is vital for all of us in our quest for respect, self-esteem, survival and equality especially equal justice under the laws of this land. thank you you my young Black male community leader, we need even more of you(smile)I give you that much needed pat on your back and as I said on your bio...I know with you my 5 year old grand son is in great hands...much love my brother... Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM |
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