THIS FATHERS DAY Share the Truth: Absent Fathers Hurt!!!
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Posted By: g smallwood on June 16, 2010 For many blacks, Fathers Day comes and goes with mixed feelings; there are ingredients of love, hatred, resentment, abandonment and disdain, all shaken together. But at the base of all of these emotions is pain and then, fear. Hats off to the good black fathers. You should be in the trenches getting more fathers to be like you, not validating the reasons they've found to not love their children, continuing to defend grown men, instead of their children--our future! It's as if the children don't matter; as if the sheer numbers of them are not tragic! I hear good black men and superior black fathers on Face Book and other social networking sites providing the tissue for the tears of these failed black fathers during the pitty parties, with little or no thought about the tears shed by their children; no motivation to tell these men to stop the crying, stand up, own up to their responsibilities; they made their beds and now must sleep in them. Help the mothers of your children raise them!! The pain many feel about this Fathers Day is from the audacity that a man could actually injure his own walking away; staying away; withholding the love he should demonstrate; using reasons or excuses for his carelessness. And then, the question, how could his love be so weak for humans he help to make? What kind of heart does this person have? The fear, more profound, is that love does not exist at all for his children and discovery could somehow be a commentary on one's worth, importance; actual humanity. This Fathers Day, share the truth from your heart. A father's absence hurts. It hurts too often for the children of black fathers. Nearly 70% of the homes where their children live are headed by single mothers. True, white men leave their children, too; about 27% of their homes are single parented. But we don't have the numbers to compete with their expenditures! They are still strong and healthy! We are few in numbers. Saying "they do it too" does not off set the harm to our few numbers. A man who has $100 can afford to spend $10. A man who has only $20 and spends that same $10 is vulnerable. Whatever the reasons black fathers have discovered as cover for not loving their children, we as a culture should tell them to let nothing...not anything keep them from loving the next generations. Lets not provide them with pitty parties for the bad choices they made with the mothers; the problems with their 'baby mamas' post child birth. The children should not have to suffer their parents toxic, though sexually productive, relationship! Our future as a people depends on it! Pain and fear in humans can produce distorted and twisted lives, evidenced and resulting today on the streets of our communities, the prison cells and through the careless way we handle God's precious gift of sex, supposed to produce a deeper love between two people, but instead gives birth to children not cared for and the disease HIVAids which carries a death sentence. STOP!!!! Gail Smallwood, author Black Men Stop! http://blackmenstop.ning.com http://twitter.com/blackmenstop http://www.facebook.com/pages/New-Book-Rel... If you enjoyed this article, Join BlackInAmerica.com today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
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g smallwood
From Houston, TX Member Since July 2008 |
Comments
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[Hats off to the good black fathers.] Happy Father's Day to all the Fathers here on BIA! (((hugs & kisses))) Wednesday, June 16th 2010 at 6:45PM |
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Ms. Smallwood......There are good, caring and responsible successful black fathers in this country. Acknowledgement is much appreciated.
Wednesday, June 16th 2010 at 11:05PM |
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Happy Father's Day Broter Jamal, because I know that you are a great daddy!!
Thursday, June 17th 2010 at 12:49PM |
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Gregory V. Boulware, Esq.
Thursday, June 17th 2010 at 2:46PM Assistant Managing Director at Managing Director's Office, City of Philadelphia /* Thank you for this impressive article, Sister Smallwood: I certainly can appreciate the "LOVE of a FATHER!" My biological father for an unkown reason was never known of until I was 16 years of age. I was co-raised by my father who was not biological...and a GRANDFATHER who loved ME and I him very deeply. The father who raised me is recognized as such, missed, loved,and appreciated. I, as a FATHER AND GRANDFATHER, will never fail to love and support all that are MINE as well as caring for the many other fatherless babies...my babies LOVE ME TOO! Thanks again, Peace and Love, Greg. gvb1210me@yahoo.com http://ezinearticles.com/?expert_bio=Grego... http://www.blogger.com/profile/10910946197... http://www.BoulwareEnterprises.com http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/8140... */ Thursday, June 17th 2010 at 2:49PM |
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@Jamal and Greg. I appreciate the cudos for you and the many black fathers you know, but have you given any thought to all the children who are not so lucky because Most of the black fathers are missing? Can we not get off the subject, please? I know it's difficult for our culture to ce to terms with the way Most of us are living, but we will never solve this problem playing "pretend".
Thursday, June 17th 2010 at 4:47PM |
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HAPPY FATHER'S DAY BROTHERS!!!
Thursday, June 17th 2010 at 5:02PM |
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One way, Ms Smallwood are mentoring programs involving direct interacting with youth that promote positive growth and development has a way of filling voids left by missing fathers.
Friday, June 18th 2010 at 10:10AM |
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Yes. My teaching reading skills and mentoring these babies is part of what fuels my passion here. I see and hear the painful stories of rejection. Read the Free Download prologue of my book and you will get it. http://blackmenstop.ning.com. We who are strong must urge--insist on better!!!!
Friday, June 18th 2010 at 1:38PM |
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Wow Im lovin it.Let nothing or no one turn you around, if you can save some young men from going to prison because of an absenty father then your work is justified if you save a girl from becoming a prostitute then your work is justified if by reading your book a young man decides to marry and stay with his wife and raise a family then your work is justified.
Wednesday, July 7th 2010 at 7:29PM |
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Thanks Johnnie . Sometimes I wonder if anyone cares about the millions of children who are are not being loved! Denial comes to mind. Pretend, ignore, enable are others. More dangerous though is apathy. Thanks for the encouragement. Some would just like to turn the lights off on these children and go home, but I'm not going to do that. I shouldn't have to blow this bull horn. Good fathers and those who hope to be, should lead this. But some don't want to touch it because they don't want to confront the men, don't want to face their own failures or perhaps their own absent fathers who rejected and hurt them. It's difficult but I must continue this effort to open the discussion of the pain this causes children, families, communities and the history being made now by this small number of the descendents of slaves--12% of the 300 million in America. Thursday, July 8th 2010 at 12:11AM |
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