Message to Men, Being a Single Male is Not Enough, written by Xavia Fox
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Posted By: Xavia Fox on January 02, 2015 "Message to Men: Being a Single Black Male is Not Enough " written by Xavia Fox (adapted from “Being Sexy is not enough” written by Major Mack (Mack Major)) Are there SINGLE BLACK MEN? No doubt!! When it comes to the single black male, there are some who are also “single for a reason”…can I be honest with you? Being a single, employed black male don’t mean jack snot! Not in the grand scheme of things…sounds good though! A LOT of women are really TIRED of the Single Black Male. Now hear me out on this, please… Major Mack’s main stance was regarding women being “Sexy”, he says… “But I can't eat sexiness. Sexiness won't help pay these bills or pay off our student loans. Sexiness won't qualify for a mortgage, or get the IRS off my back long enough to make my next big business move. Sexiness won't help me raise these kids. Neither will it teach my daughters their true worth and value in this world.” As a woman, if I say I need a man to help put food on the table, help pay these bills, pay off student loans, get a mortgage, get the IRS off my back, help raise these kids…what would the response be? We all know, “she better get herself together, don’t no man want a needy woman”. Yet it is perfectly acceptable for a man to require a woman to HELP him? Was he not taught to be the provider & protector for his family? What can you provide as a man besides a **** and a “roommate arrangement”? Why can’t you pay the bills, put food on the table and get a mortgage? Credit bad? Why is the IRS on your back in the 1st place? Not paying your taxes? Now you want a WOMAN to come rescue YOU? “These kids” you want me to help raise…are they ours, or do you come with a collection of “Baby Mama’s”? You weren’t taught to be the MAN…only the roommate…and mommy apparently rescued you too many times, now you want another woman to do it. A woman that COULD help you do all that, would probably pass, cuz good sense would tell her, YOU are a bad risk…and apparently the IRS thinks so too…lol. As a MAN and the 1st man in her life, YOU teach your daughter her true worth and value…what will you teach her to expect from a MAN? Is it the same thing a woman can expect from you? If you teach her not to expect anything from a man…guess what…she’ll get with a man that does nothing for her. That’s OK with you though, because that’s what you want to do…NOTHING. “We got way too many 'Sexy' sistas out here with nothing else to bring to the table.” I guess you would know how many “Sexy” sista’s are out here because you are continually checking for them. Every woman on FB with a big **** is in your picture collection, you are in all the groups, your **** collection is probably extensive, and who knows what’s in your phone since it’s probably locked. How many “send me a picture just for me” texts have you sent out in the past 30 days? **** jobs, liposuction, **** injections are a product of supply and demand…MEN demand it, so women supply. There are MILLIONS of intelligent women who are overlooked on a daily because they don’t have the “donkey/stallion ****”, or are not shaped like a figure 8. What you think about you bring about, it’s Universal Law…so if you’ve brought about SO many “sexy” women that you are “tired” try thinking and focusing on something else!! OR maybe you attract what you are, and you’re really not bringing much to the table either..? The fact that you are a single, black male with a job is the totality of your package and THAT’S WACK!! “Most black men looking for a relationship want a USEFUL woman.” use•ful: ˈyo͞osfəl/adjective adjective: useful able to be used for a practical purpose or in several ways. While women are looking to be loved for who they are, looking for commitment, honesty, respect. Men are looking for that woman he can “USE for practical purposes or in several other ways.”…isn’t that interesting? I dare to ask, why is it this single black male who needs help with bills, student loans, mortgage, and the IRS also wants to know “Can you cook? Do you clean? Do you have mothering skills?”…what is HE bringing to the table besides being a “Single Black Male?” Not much it seems…it certainly doesn’t sound like he’s ready, willing or able to take care of a family, sounds like he’s barely able to take care of himself…so why is he entitled to demand so much of a woman when basically he’s a liability? What woman wants an ADDED liability? Aren’t men supposed to come into our lives and provide and protect…? Make our life easier? Doesn’t sound like it!! It seems men have effectively flipped the script, the tables have turned…it used to be women who sought security in men. ?? "Visual appeal alone won't cut it. Besides: there are so many black women competing to be the sexiest, it's not even a race worth entering." How do you know how many women are competing to be the “sexiest”, have you signed up to be a judge? If there were no audience for it, it wouldn’t exist. Sex is a BILLION dollar industry, so there are QUITE a few men checking for “sexy”! So many of ya’ll are checking for it and financing it, so it exists…again supply and demand? “Can you cook? Do you clean?” Can you pay a bill? Will you take out the garbage, mow the lawn? Can you do more than be a roommate providing ****? Do you have Fathering skills? Do you know your father? Respect him? Love him? Do YOU Respect black WOMEN in general? Now THAT’s the question right there!! Or do you just see them as needing to be “useful” to you? “Have you divested yourself of prior relationship baggage?” Apparently NOT, your need for a woman to be “useful” suggests that you have a fear of BEING used, played, etc. Maybe it’s happened in your past, or to one of your boys, you are going to have to let that fear go before you’ll find a real woman that will deal with you. Coming at a woman of substance with ignorance and double talk such as this is a turn off…only a another “Single Black Male” can relate to this…and will probably cheer you on. You see all these “sexy” women with no substance because that’s what you’ve been focused on. What you think about, you bring about…again, you attract what you are. Educate yourself on the laws of attraction… “Can you hold a conversation about REAL world events? And no: Love and Hip Hop doesn't count!” Can YOU hold a conversation about real world events or will it just consist of how crazy women are, especially your ex? What you wish you could do to me? How lucky a woman would be to get a man like you…yet..how you are looking for a woman that basically will help YOU out (cuz you can’t help her (or yourself) out apparently)? Telling me you go to church and have a relationship with God…that’s not gonna help your case, some of the biggest liars, cheaters and abusers are in church…even in the pulpit…try again. “Do YOU have a REAL relationship with a REAL God: or do you follow the fake one many American Christians have invented for themselves because he's more tolerable than the actual Truth?” And add to that, are you just spouting the words that you think women want to hear because they are waiting for “God” to send them a man? What is your version of the “Actual Truth”? These are the questions discerning women should be asking nowadays!! So if being a “Single Black Male” with demands and the desire to be a roommate and not a provider and head of house hold is all you bring to the table, you can keep it. We want grown men who have prepared themselves for life and to care for his woman/family. You may want to stick with the “sexy” woman, because they are the only one’s impressed with you. I’m sure I speak for most conscious thinking sista’s out there who bring more to the table than sexiness, who know their worth and expect to be valued. We are not here to be “useful” to YOU…you men are “supposed” to be the head, the leaders, LEAD the way! Show your leadership skills and stop looking for women you can USE for her credit and income. Be able to stand on YOUR own, so you don’t NEED a woman who is a duplicate of you because you are really only HALF a man. Major Mack says… “There's a new breed of black men out there ladies. And we ain't settling for second best or taking any shorts. Either come correct or go get with Tyrone. That's all many of you are use to dealing with anyway...” The new breed of Single Black Male out here…well, many of you ARE second best and coming up very short. So we may just call Tyrone, cuz at least he’ll come help us get our ****…which is usually more than we can count on the “New breed of Single Black Male” to do…smh. Fella’s, while you are so quick to tell a woman why she’s single…ever think maybe YOU are single because only the type of women you complain about are attracted to you because of who YOU are? The reason you can’t find a good black woman is not because we don’t exist, but because we see your kind coming a mile away, everyday. We want that man that stands OUT from the crowd…we can find a “New Breed Single Black Male” anywhere screaming what a woman needs to bring to the table. You attract what you are…think on that. Now…carry on. If you enjoyed this article, Join BlackInAmerica.com today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
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Xavia Fox
Empowerment Speaker, Certified Life Coach, Workshop Facilitator, Word to the Wise Workshops & Consulting Member Since November 2014 |
Comments
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Sister Fox, I enjoyed the read and from a older person view point, looking back at it, this is not the man that young Sister needs. I am sure that their are men, single men out their that his took the time to educate himself and have a meaningful job or business out there were he can provide their woman a greater LIFE in a more equa relationship that don't have that baggage tagging along behind him. That is what the dating process is all about, to weed out that bad seed and keep the good one. Now on that same note, as a young Sister, you must keep in mind it that Brother and yourselves have to have God in your life, because the possibilities of having a stronger and happy LOVE relationship will be greatly enhance. I know that younger Sisters like that bad boy image but it comes with a greater price, you must keep in mind, are you willing to pay that price? Friday, January 2nd 2015 at 1:08PM |
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Xavia Fox
Glad you enjoyed the read Deacon Gray! Empowerment Speaker, Certified Life Coach, Workshop Facilitator at Word to the Wise Workshops & Consulting I appreciate your comment. Just for the record, I am certainly not into "bad boys" as any mature woman probably wouldn't be. My point of view is not framed by having relationships with the type of man I speak about in the article...it is framed by having avoided them...lol. Friday, January 2nd 2015 at 1:42PM |
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GREAT!!!! Sister Fox if you see any topic that I have started please feel free to join in, any time OK! Friday, January 2nd 2015 at 3:08PM |
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I would never want to be single in this day. It's too confusing. Sunday, January 4th 2015 at 6:44PM |
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Xavia Fox
Lol!! I'm newly single, but I'm loving the freedom and enjoying dating at the moment actually!
Empowerment Speaker, Certified Life Coach, Workshop Facilitator at Word to the Wise Workshops & Consulting Sunday, January 4th 2015 at 7:08PM |
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