The Mind is Like a Parachute
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Posted By: Niquenya Fulbright on September 10, 2008 I just finished answering another member's interview question and it really got me to thinking about some of the things that frustrate me about black people. The primary one being that we can be so utterly close-minded. Many of us instantly turn down our nose at anything that is unfamiliar and not the way we are used to things being or think we know that they are. It is almost as if we are proud to remain ignorant. Ignorance is not bliss; it is a roadblock. Let me give a few examples. First, I am a proper English speaker. I can't help it. It is the way I was raised and the environment I went to school in. I don't speak slang nor do I even try. It is a foreign language to me. My daughter laughs at me if I say anything remotely slangish because it sounds so strange coming out of my mouth. The funny thing is though, like most black people, I am able to code-switch quite well. I speak one way among my relatives and friends and another way when I'm out and about. I get teased for being an "oreo cookie" due to my speech. But guess what? When I am on the phone, which is where I make 70% of my income, people just assume that I am white or at the very least intelligent and educated. This means that doors open for me that otherwise wouldn't if I didn't speak proper English. I can get someone to say "yes" to me well before they see me and by that time it is too late for them to renig. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with slang but as we know, there is a time and a place for everything. So I am frustrated with black folks putting me down for my speech. Secondly, what is "white folk's food"? I am so tired of wanting to go to restaurants or food festivals or whatever the event is and being surrounded by black people who won't try anything unfamiliar because it's "white folk's food". Do you have any idea what types of delectable tastes you're missing out on when you do this to yourself? Not only that, trying different foods can be an enlightening, cultural, educational experience. It can become a conversation piece which opens the doors to networking. If you refuse to try that new sushi bar or Greek buffet out of fear of trying "white folk's food" then you are closing yourself off from opportunity to meet and greet great people. On top of that, you could be pleasantly surprised that your favorite fried chicken dish has been replaced by a sashimi platter. One last point about food, it all originated from Africa anyway! Almost every "new" food you try has its roots in the Motherland so what is that you were saying about "white folk's food"? So here is another thing that bugs me while I am on a roll. I go to a whole lot of networking events and I am usually one of the only black people there. Why is that? Two reasons: 1) black folks don't know about it and 2) those who do know don't want to be around that many white folks. Are you kidding me? If you showed up then there would be a better mix. You have to step outside the box and make connections with people who are where you are trying to be. Unfortunately, that isn't always black folks. This means that you need to learn how to be comfortable speaking with people of every race. We need diversity training too! Having an understaning of different cultures and surrounding yourself with different types of people can open the door to better opportunities. It also makes you a better problem-solver because you can look at things from different perspectives so stop turning down invitations to network just because you think it will be all white people there. Unless you attend it will always be only white people there. My last point has to do with finances. Why don't we think we should have to pay for anything? Ask any service professional and they will say that the worse tippers are black people. That's a shame. Even looking at my own business I am greatly disturbed. I have a whole lot of knowledge, experience and expertise to offer but black people want me to give it to them freely. My primary clients are white. I am hurt by this because I want nothing more than to help "my" people but my need to support myself financially doesn't allow me to do so. Sure, I get plenty of inquiries from black people, but very rarely do they follow through once they hear the fee which, by the way, is actually less than most of my white counterparts. You have to spend money to make money so if you're not willing to get the knowledge and the expertise that is before you then you won't get ahead. So white folks who are utilizing my services are reaping great benefits by applying the lessons they've learned from me to their own business practices while black folks who refuse to spend money on valuable resources continue to remain stagnant in their careers. And I know I am not the only professional who has had this experience in dealing with black people as clients. I have several black colleagues who have actually said that they don't deal with black people because they don't like to pay. Is this where we are as a people? So if nothing else, I hope this blog post has you thinking about areas that you could raise your awareness and become a little more open-minded in your own life. White folks and others succeed because they do the work to make the connections, to get out there and become resources themselves. We have to do the same thing but we can't do it if we continue to shut ourselves off from the rest of the world. A mind is like a parachute, it only works if you open it. 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Niquenya Fulbright
Executive Life Coach, Mediator, Consultant & Corpo, Self DeVry University class of 2007 Member Since August 2008 |
Comments
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So, tell us what you really think. Thanks for the reality check. Just Sayin
Wednesday, September 10th 2008 at 12:01PM |
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Niquenya, I would suggest that the state of our current economic, political, environmental, and social climate may dictate that we move beyond our normal Black folks comfort zones. I submit that if you refuse to try new things…you will go extinct. The national and global changes in money, leadership, and/or ambiance may push us away from our norms. I challenge anyone reading this (Black or otherwise) to start pushing yourself beyond your norms: before someone pushes you to a place you don’t want to be. If you are an active Christian…visit a Muslim Mosque, Jewish Synagogue, or Buddhist Temple. If you have never eaten “white food” (there is no such thing by the way: http://www.lulu.com/content/3132461 )...seek out and try a different ethnic foods each week or month. If you can’t swim, go rafting. If you’re afraid to fly…visit your local SMALL AIRFIELD and rent an aircraft wet/with instructor…and FLY the plane yourself. The world is a big place. Our minds and internal fears however can be very small and constricting. Get out there and Live or expect your parachute not to open when you need it! Wednesday, September 10th 2008 at 1:08PM |
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There's an old saying I recall it's "A closed mouth doesn't get fed." I think it fits for closed minds as well. Wednesday, September 10th 2008 at 6:52PM |
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A very poignant, well delivered commentary on the general state of blacks in business. Most poignant to me was the desire for freebies from people who want what I can offer. I am an artist by trade. As it is hard in the first place to get anyone to understand an artist's fee, my people are even harder to convince. A lot want to get more for less, not taking into consideration my needs and the needs of my family. Working for free takes away from what I can provide for my family while depriving them of my time. You also have given me food for thought. That is a positive in itself.
Saturday, September 13th 2008 at 10:43PM |
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