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I think I might lose it. I have to vent. At least 10 times, I've seen the same woman dressed to the nines...hair coiffed, nails done, toes done, flawless make-up and jeweled out. I've seen countless different women that are exactly the same and it drives me nuts. A mother myself, when I had my first child at the ripe young age of 22, you couldn't pay me to have her walking next to me looking tore up while I'm looking like I just stepped out of a dressing room with the new clothes I just bought myself. It bugs me to no end. I know there are circumstances where this is okay...she just came from work, picked the kid up from daycare (where the kid got dirty and rolled around in some dirt and came out lookin' rough), or when she's just gotten dressed to go to the club and is dropping the child off with Granny but had to stop at the store on the way but couldn't leave the kid in the car. LOL. But this can't be the circumstance with all of them. Years ago, I got into it with one of my neice's mother. EVERY time you saw her and my neice together, she was hot and my neice looked a hot MESS. I finally had to call her on it. She was pissed, of course, but it just boggled my mind. In the wintertime, she'd be wearing a coat with fur trim and gold everywhere on her body, but my neice wouldn't be wearing a coat and always had on raggedy shoes and clothes that were too small. We'd have to go out and buy her some clothes whenever she was with us because we come from a family where the children come first because they didn't ask to be here. She was (and still is) getting plenty of child support because my bro handles his...pays child support and then some. And for what??????? She'll be 18 this year, thank God. Anyway, I think I'm done. Have any of you ever seen this? Is it just ME? Dang. Blessings... BTW, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!
Posted By: Dee Gray
Sunday, May 10th 2009 at 5:25AM
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No baby it's not JUST YOU & are you CORRECT, they did not ask to come here. But you know some (girls) supposely Women just WANT TO KNOW BETTER or DO BETTER! What is really hurting - THEY PASS THE STUPIDITY ONTO THE NEXT GENERATION! So I'm with you CALL THEM OUT! I do!!! and I WANT THEM TO SAY SOMETHING!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY Ms. Kim(GA)
Sunday, May 10th 2009 at 11:19AM
Kim Greenwell
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I know exactly what you mean and it is beyond sad. My mother always told me that it's one thing for you to look a mess, but your child should never look a mess. Besides, what these simple-minded females don't realize is that if they are single and looking to meet a good man, it will never happen because when she is out with her child the man is not looking at her, he is looking at how she takes care of her child which is a reflection of her. Now if she is looking hot and the child is a hot mess, he already knows that she does not have her act together regardless to what she may tell him. She will be a one hit wonder.
The other thing is, the stupidity was passed on to her and she is only doing what she saw. Oh and one more thing, she is not a mother, she is a female that had a child.
Sunday, May 10th 2009 at 12:49PM
Marquerite Burgess
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don't worry. these kids will grow up and become wealthy business owners and use their wealth for other causes, which doesn't include the neglectful mom.
Sunday, May 10th 2009 at 4:21PM
stephen futado
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Sister Dee, I know exactly where you're coming from. I work in the New Orleans public school system, and it pisses me off when I see students come to my office with their hair uncombed and their clothes torn and dirty but the mothers are all decked out in Gucci and Louie Vuitton. Oooohhh...I wanna whip their a**es so bad!!!
When I was working as a teacher assistant in 2006 there was this one child who came to class everyday with her hair and clothes a mess. There was a field trip that we planned for the class and I went to Walmart (which was right across the street)and brought the girl some new clothes and braided her hair when no one was around. She brought me some flowers to thank me. Little did I know I was asking for trouble because the next day, instead of the mother being grateful that I was taking time with her daughter, she resorted to calling me a b**** in front of the principal. But you bet mom showed up with her hair looking like a bowl of curly fries and a dress that looked like something straight out of a Victoria Secret catalog.
What is happening is that today's mothers, the majority of them, are putting their men before their children and they are different from when I came up. We have got to do better. I seen my dog give birth to puppies, but that doesn't make her a mother. Its how you love, raise, and nurture your children that really matters.
Sunday, May 10th 2009 at 4:25PM
Siebra Muhammad
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I understand where everyone is coming from on this !
Our children, in fact our FAMILY is a reflection of ourselves.
Judge not, lest you be judged !
We need to look at our whole selves, ( Black in America ) !
Untill we walk in another's shoes, we truely do not know all circumstances of who, what, where, why when !
Even then, we still don't !
Handelin your own business is a full -time job !
So what's to go nuts about ?
This is not new !
I have been sharp as a tack, found a child in distress looking for her mother, walked into a store, and could see people assuming this was my child and how the thoughts of me being a neglecting mother racing cross judgemental minds.
We need to watch how we formulate opinions given the opportunity.
These have a way of coming back at YOU !
Like the Boomarang !
We need a lot as a race of people !
Peace and Blessings to us all !
Monday, May 11th 2009 at 12:42PM
Min.Dr.LaDonna Blaylock D.D.
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So many mothers are not focused on their children as far as keeping the clean, neat and well presented. It's a harsh reality. I just don't care to see it either; and really even with all their array and adorement....their children's reflection on them makes them look as if they are bad mothers. Maybe, they'll get the message that children can make them look good-- if moms would take the time out to treat them as they do themselves.....
Monday, May 11th 2009 at 2:10PM
MIISRAEL Bride
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We must remember that we were not reared in the same households.
When other cultures look at us, they look at us as a whole, not just a slice of the pie.
So, as a WHOLE, most of our children are well cared for.
Says a lot for a people who have come a long way.
Monday, May 11th 2009 at 11:22PM
Min.Dr.LaDonna Blaylock D.D.
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I understand where you are coming from, Dee. I can only speak on what I have experienced, and the situation was not about the child. The child was plan b if plan a did not work out now the child is suffering because the priority has changed. Mom is back in the saddle looking great (trying to get another plan a going) meanwhile the child is in rags. The child has been seen wearing an outfit in the morning to daycare, and sleeping in the same outfit at night, and waking up the next morning, in the same outfit when dad goes to pick the child up. Some women, their minds are messed up and unfortunately the children suffer.
Tuesday, May 12th 2009 at 9:34PM
Cheryl Hendrix
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Min. Blalock, I'm not saying it's ALL MOTHERS, and I said as much in the original post. I am a mother and what I propose is real whether you accept it or not. And it's not judgment to call something what it is. And as a person who has seen it first hand in MY OWN FAMILY, I am not assuming. This DOES happen and to deny it speaks oodles. It may not be the case in your case, nor is it the case in my case, but it certainly is the case with some women who have chosen to bring children into this world without regard to the fact that the child comes FIRST.
Cheryl, I feel you. I've seen what you describe as well. I'm not in denial about the fact that there are some trifling folk out there...and it DOES drive me batty. Being a mother, it's hard to see another mother choose herself over her child. And I've seen it time and time again...where priorities are just way off. It's shameful and I'm not booking Heaven or hell for anyone (that would be judging). I'm just saying it's a sad commentary.
And again, for those that missed it, this is not the case for all mothers. Sometimes it looks that way and isn't, but other times (the many times I've seen with my own two eyes with people I actually KNOW and some times I've seen and can only speculate about), it is very much the case that a woman who produces a child does not necessarily a mother make.
Blessings...
Thursday, May 14th 2009 at 1:02AM
Dee Gray
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And Min. Blalock, you're right about something else...we DO need a lot as a community...a reality check INCLUDED.
And I'm wondering whose blog you reading. I never once said nor insinuated that this was JUST BLACK FOLK because Lord knows it's not. I also never said that it's A MAJORITY. I don't make blanket statements like that. What I said is that there are SOME who are like this...and it's true. ...shameful and my heart goes out to the children, but TRUE. And sometimes the truth IS ugly as it is in the event of which I speak.
Blessings...
Thursday, May 14th 2009 at 1:07AM
Dee Gray
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MIISRAEL, Amen!!! And Kim, you crack me up. I feel YOU. LOL! Maquerite, insightful as always. Mr. Maxwell... ;-) You already know what's up, Sir. Cheryl, Godly woman adorned in Godly wisdom, keep it coming, my sister. And Mozell, thanks for gracing us with your presence and your commentary.
In all, it looks like we've all pretty much seen it and some of us have even called it out. I'll just keep praying for these mothers and hope they get their priorities in order and learn to think and act less selfishly and more selfLESSly.
Blessings...
Thursday, May 14th 2009 at 1:20AM
Dee Gray
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It's already alright and has been for a long time. Peace to you as well, Sister. ;-)
Blessings...
Sunday, May 17th 2009 at 2:33AM
Dee Gray
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