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DO YOU LISTEN OR SPREAD GOSSIP? WHAT CAN BE DONE TO DISCONNECT? (239 hits)

YOU see I work with people of many backgrounds, ethics and morals. Many times some of them come to me with conversations of gossip about others. I hate to seem rude, because these people are genuinely nice and usually helpful to me. I admit, I think it's distasteful to hear them talking about someone I see in a totally different mannerism. I'm not one to spread gossip, nor do I want to listen or hear it either.

What can be done to disconnect from gossip? How can I approach telling the teller of gossiper tactfully? I really prefer not to hear what they are telling if they're in the gossiping of what someone does in attitudes or actions in their personal lives. I like both persons with, or without their faults. I'm going to have to speak up soon. Last time he or she were I around I excused myself away from them. I'm striving to always seek only positive aspects of any persons. Any suggestions?

Posted By: MIISRAEL Bride
Saturday, March 13th 2010 at 10:05AM
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'm not one to gossip so I don't entertain it. It's pretty much like rumors what is said gets added on and taking away then it's different altogether that what was originally said. Plus gossip is negative, aggressive social laddering where people use it to gain social advantage despite the damage it does to the persons involved. Usually gossip can be based upon pure assumption, prejudice and dime store pyschology.

The best ways to turn gossip away is to directly say to the person you simply don't care to hear the personal business of others. Don't bother to scold or pre-judge the person sending the gossip to you because they might not be the one whom originally spread it and just might be an innocent follower but none are innocent really if gossip intends to harm. Once you let it be known to mainly privately you don't care and you stick to the rule of not spreading it yourself then it won't be brought to you. You can't stop gossip but you can must certainly set an quiet example to it's negativity. Gossip destroys community amongst people and it helps anti-socialism to spread.
Saturday, March 13th 2010 at 3:00PM
John Washington

Hello John W. I've been missing your blogging. Thank you for your suggestions. I will consider using them. I'm like you, I don't spread gossip about others, I really don't care to listen to either. It is a form of negatism. I think if I continue to follow tact with both of them, eventually they'll be less likely to bring it my way.
Thanks.

Irma, I have heard that saying before too. Venting I consider is sort of a way to let go of things bottled up. I don't mind listening to a good vent. I just feel when they cross the line to talking about someone I like isn't good. That's when I'll draw the line and consider using some of John's suggestions. I like both of these people, so neither one of them will never hear what was spoken about the other. I've earned their trust, which is why they feel they can say things about each other. I'll never mention it to either of them which is another way I can curb negativity and keep my trusted relationship with them both.
Thanks too!

You've both been very helpful.
Sunday, March 14th 2010 at 8:27AM
MIISRAEL Bride

You're absolutely right! I know I'm going to say something very soon. I can't keep putting it off. I am a person of harmony and I can't stop them from doing their gossip, but I know we can come to an understanding that they will know I will no longer attend to their words of negativeness. They both are likeable to me and have good qualities, I wish they could see themselves through my eyes I see kindness in the both. Thanks so much Irma. I will attend to this in using kindness, and understanding. You're wonderful....
Monday, March 15th 2010 at 9:09AM
MIISRAEL Bride

All seems quiet on the gossip trail today...is this a good sign???? (smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA

MIISRAEL here is something someone told me back when and I do believe it still is meaningful today...

"I" WAS TOLD TO WATCH THE ONE BRINGING ME THE NEWS, AND ESPECIALLY IF IT BEGINS WITH, "I KNOW I SHOULD NOT BE TELLING YOU THIS BECAUSE IT IS GOING TO HURT YOU, BUT____________________________".(smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA

But MIISRAEL, some times "gossip" can be totally innocent. I say this because a lot of times some people just have to vent / get it off their chest/ get it out into the open therefore "I" believe we must be the one to decide if we will be passing the said information on and please we must try to remember each and every time it gets passed along it is most likely going to get a few changes in the message. (smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA

This is wise, but if you continue to listen to either, or you will only enable both to continue this behavior with you my friend.

This behavior is becoming or it has become toxic to/ for you MIISRAEL therefore you have got to stop both of them from making this "ON THE JOB HARRASSMENT" FOR YOU!!!

I know you and you can do this with kindness and meaniful and positive manner both of these peoples so that they can begin to grow up and become better people. (smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA