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Why Are There So Many Broken Relationships In The “Black Mecca”? (1603 hits)

by Black Love And Marriage.com on June 20, 2011

In Becoming One

By Joshua B. Butler IV

Atlanta is the city for opportunity. People are migrating to Atlanta from all over the world. For African-Americans Atlanta has been called the “Black Mecca”, because of its nurturing political and business climate. It would be natural to assume that Atlanta would provide fertile ground for cultivating healthy relationships. Why is the opposite true? Why are there so many broken relationships in Atlanta? Why can’t men and women get a long, form nurturing relationships that build strong families, which lead to strong communities thus insuring Atlanta’s status as the “Black Mecca”. Here are a few insights as to why there are so many broken relationships in Atlanta.

The first reason there are so many broken relationships in the Black Mecca is, the black man’s failure to commit. “How can you commit to a God you have never seen, and can not commit to a woman you see every day?” There is no logical reason why African American men fail to commit. I have heard it all; there is a disproportionate ratio of men to women, women have unfair expectations, women are gold diggers, are all excuses. The black man’s fear of commitment comes from a selfish need. To obligate or pledge one’s self to monogamy, takes character. There are benefits to monogamy. And the deceit of non-commitment builds stress.

The black man’s failure to commit has caused the black woman to grow a cold and frigid heart. The black woman has lost her nature to help the black man meet the needs of family and community because of his indiscretions. The second reason there are so many broken relationships is because the black woman has adopted and attitude of “I’m just doing me.” Her selfish state contributes to broken relationships by causing her not to appreciate honest and genuine men who want to love and respect her. Thus she finds excuses not to commit, taking her far away from her natural state. She then commoditizes her value, making herself available to the highest bidder. If a man wants her time, it must be worth her while. The black woman no longer needs a pimp; she prostitutes herself, for gifts, a dinner or to get a bill paid.

The third reason for so many broken relationships in Atlanta is our failure to forgive. With age and experience comes wisdom and patience. We become more patient with our friends and associates but less patient and tolerable of people who are our love interest. For some odd reason we hold our love interest to a higher standard than we do our best of friends; transgressions made by our friends don’t negatively affect us, while if the same mistake is made by a lover it could cause an end to the relationship, thus another broken relationship. Don’t hold the new love interest responsible for the sins and actions of a past relationship. Most men and women profess their innocence of this relationship mistake. However this is often not the case evident in the fact that a lover in the past was given numerous chances to lament for a misdeed where as with the new love, one strike and he or she is out the door. In forgiveness one must take responsibility for your on transgressions also. Sometimes you are not always right. If you did nothing wrong in the relationship, your are the problem!

I know what it is like to harden your heart, fearful of being hurt and disappointed. It seems like every time you open up, your mate lets you down. So instead of taking a chance on love you fall back to something familiar. A woman would rather take a tropical vacation with her girlfriends, all single and bitter, and what’s sad, they don’t even know that they are bitter, rather than take a chance with a man. This truncates the growth of the spirit, causing one to be spiritually deficient.

There are married couples sleeping in separate beds, suffering together in a broken marriage because of money or for the children. There are single women asking God, why me? Am I doing something wrong? Am I being punished for some past sin? I did all the right things, I went to college, I go to church, and yet Lord, why doesn’t a man love me. There are men asking the creator, “Why can’t the black woman see my value?” I say to you, that you can be whole again. However, forgiveness from both men and women is essential for broken hearts to heal and wholeness to be restored to our relationships.

Joshua B. Butler, IV is the CEO of the Yashin Corporation. Honor, Integrity and Ambition are the cardinal principles of Yashin. As an urban media consultant Joshua produces content for print, television, film and the web. Over the past 5 years he has helped individuals and corporations communicate to millions of people all over the world.

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Wednesday, June 22nd 2011 at 12:23AM
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acceptance of paganChristian values.
Wednesday, June 22nd 2011 at 8:01AM
powell robert

Hello to All,

Black America's problems and relationship breakdown are due to our circumstances in White America because we are not a sovereign people having the divine right to govern ourselves and the reigns of our own destiny in our hands. It baffles me that you all do not comprehend what I am saying.

The children of Israel had the same problems. Do you remember they had serious relationship breakdown when Moses broke up a fight between two Israelites? God remedied their problems by bringing them out of Egypt and giving them sovereignty in the land of Canaan. Am I right? Use your intelligence and draw some insight from the story of Moses?

If I am wrong anyone is welcome to shoot me down.

What say any of you?

Wednesday, June 22nd 2011 at 10:39AM
Harry Watley

I really don't believe that Black relationships are any different than what's going on in society, but I think we tend to believe all the "hype" and half truths. Today's relationship trends are more reflective of the cultural norms and societal influences that many ethnic groups have accepted as normal. The relationships that we are seeing in Hollywood are now being accepted into what was once unacceptable to people of Black ancestry.

For example, people of African decent as they move to the West are now beginning to leave the cultural norms of marriage forever to divorce when they come here. We also see things like this happening to other ethnic groups as they take hold of Western culture.

There are plenty of men both Black and NonBlack who don't want commitment but want to play the field as well as there are plenty of men both Black and NonBlack who want to settle down and have families so just because we might not see this played out on television or in the media, doesn't mean its not happening.

In conclusion, I tend to disagree with this commentary. Just my two cents worth. ... for whatever its worth. Let's stop beating up on the brothas.
Wednesday, June 22nd 2011 at 11:21AM
Jen Fad

so dearest inspiration jenFad----per subject

is atlanta the 'black mecca'?

or

is America the 'black mecca'?
Wednesday, June 22nd 2011 at 11:36AM
powell robert

@ Brother Rob,

Neither, America is every nationality's Mecca; You're too, funny~Ha!!
Wednesday, June 22nd 2011 at 2:35PM
Jen Fad

Hello Ms. Jen,

The commentator and all of you are wrong.

I believe that you are saying the same thing or agreeing with me that the reasons for Black Americans complex problems are that we are being influenced by White America.
I said the same thing. That is why Black America's only permanent solution is that we must desire to become a sovereign people that we could influence ourselves and rise to such a height that we would influence other people for the better.

So, let me explain. You said today's relationship trends are more reflective of the cultural norms and societal influences that many ethnic groups have accepted as normal. The relationships that we are seeing in Hollywood are now being accepted into what was once unacceptable to people of Black ancestry.

So, according to you our only permanent solution is that we must desire to become a sovereign people on a reasonable and fertile portion of this continent that we could call our very own country with borders.

In addition, the influences you mentioned Black Americans has also been influenced by White America's Christian religion.
You, Ms. Jen are a Christian. So you see how you have been influenced by the White West as well. Am I right or am I wrong?

I am the way, the truth and the light for all Black Americans and you all are going to come to that. Moses was the way, the truth and the light for all the children of Israel, am I right.
What say you?

Wednesday, June 22nd 2011 at 3:33PM
Harry Watley

We are the Descendants of Adaam(as) the first Man created by His Creator-

-- Illaah(hebaru language) and we are Descendants of the Way of Life that the Creator---Illaah had intended for Adaam(as) and His descendants.----Monotheism

---Yes --- saint through this lintage physically, demographically, historically, linguistically and MOST important through FAITH and BELIEF in ONE Creator all are the same family

---we are of the same tribes, or clans, or communities

--12 or (I pray to Allaah that I am not of the tribe,clan that worshipped the goldenCOW after Musa came down with his Book, Commandments)

saint say,

"'Family of Adaam' which is a direct contradiction to the commandments given from the Most High to Israel. We are commanded to be with Israelites only regardless of their skin tone/color, or country of origins "

Adaam(as) we know in hebaru/aramaic/arabic language means--man

but we are not commanded to do anything-----

The Family of Adaam(as) is ASKED to be of the FAITHFUL, discipline self to be of the FAITHFUL, as Allaah gives us free will----in our lives.....

and Mecca, Mekkah, is in The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia----site of the First Structure built by Adaam(as) to worship his Creator and Ibraheems altar of FAITH to his Creator.

Thursday, June 23rd 2011 at 8:25AM
powell robert

Hello to All,

You all are some extremely stupid people. It is useless to dialogue with you all if you all can not recognize that there is a difference between an Arab man and a Jewish man.

Likewise, there is a difference between a Black American, Arab and Jewish man.

God recognize that there is a difference between the Arab and Jewish people. You idiots should note this for your selves because God rose up a Jewish prophet (Jesus) for the Jewish people. Similarly, God rose up an Arab man (Prophet Mohammed) for the Arabian people.

Knuckleheads, if we will all the same certainly it would not have been necessary to rise up Prophet Mohammed. All that God would have needed to do according to you idiots way of thinking is to give the Arabian people Prophet Jesus.

But, God did not do that. God gave each people a prophet from their own loins. What should is tell you stupid people except that we are different people.

You all frustrates me which of stupid logic and reasoning.

Black Americans are not Israelites and therefore the Jewish prophets are not our prophets. Black Americans are not Arabian people and therefore Prophet Mohammed is not our prophet.

You idiots must realize that your prophet must be the same race that you are since God would rise this man up out of our loins and not the loins of the Israelites or the Arabian people.

People are racially different and if you idiots can not recognize that you could never be right about anything.

Oh man you all are dumb.

Thursday, June 23rd 2011 at 8:57AM
Harry Watley

sorry to make my comments on your subject from the title--not content

---but

steve has already LOGICALLY and LINGUISTICALLY addressed your quasiIsraeli hebaru, understanding

who cares if the "nations" accept Monotheism--- either you believe in Monotheism or NOT

either you follow history, science, language or NOT

either you figure out transliteration from ancient languages into a paganEuropean language-

--is not meaning

----kingJames language wasnt EVEN known during the time of YOUR Examples used from AtTaurat---

from---a byProduct of slaverAmericana 1492-1864 paganChristian intellectual development

why would you insist that I take this thought of yours; seriously?

i would have to be a cartoon----and i have not watched one since 'mighty mouse'---

Thursday, June 23rd 2011 at 3:46PM
powell robert

The problem that most relationships have is that people are not commited to the cause of togetherness. I speak from personal experience and I don't live in the "Black Mecca" of Atlanta but I once lived close by in South Carolina.
Thursday, June 23rd 2011 at 10:56PM
Jen Fad

Absolutely,

saint say," to those that are not as knowlegeable. The Reviticism is becoming quite boring to me!!!!!"

Definition of RECIDIVISM

a tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior

your dialogue is based on RECIDIVISM as given by kingJames understanding-the paganChristian father of slaverAmericana

or maybe vascoDeGama popeisticUnderstanding

and yes you are a cartoon, as boring as I remember "mighty mouse"

Thursday, June 23rd 2011 at 11:05PM
powell robert

Hello to All,

Ms. Jen said that the problem most relationships have is that the people, e.g. Black Americans is that we are not committed to the cause of togetherness.

She is absolutely right. That has been the case with Black Americans since the days of plantation slavery.

For example, even though all of us are Black Americans we have swallowed and digested the philosophies of other people as our own philosophy.
Robert has swallowed the philosophy of the Arabian people Islam and he is not an Arab man.
Saint has swallowed the philosophy of this new group of Black Americans that calls themselves Black Hebrew Israelites and they neither have a purpose nor a direction.
Ms. Jen has swallowed the philosophy of the European gentiles, which is the Old Testament which is the story and testimony of the Jewish people.
Ms. Irma has swallowed the philosophy of Buddhism which is the philosophy of the people of India.
Siebra and Jamal have swallowed Elijah's philosophy of an off track Islam from the original Islam of Prophet Mohammed.

I am the only one that has not swallowed the philosophy any people and that is why I am a clean vessel that God decided to use as Black America's first genuine prophet.
I have swallowed the philosophy of my race (Black Americans). I know who Black Americans are and how we came into existence. Therefore, I am well grounded in wisdom, knowledge and understanding.
I see what you all don't see. I understand what you all don't understand. I know that I am right because none of you can contest the things I say about whom Black Americans are and what our endgame is to be.

Black America's philosophy is that we are a new race of people born out of the ashes of plantation slavery on this continent orchestrated by White Americans approximately 500 years ago. Just like the Arabs and Jewish people Black Americans have our own prophet and religion. Our religion is LIFE and our prophet is Harry.
Our religion tells the world that Black Americans were born mentally dead and without anything or purpose other than to be human labor for White Americans. Then God came to us the same way God came to the children of Israel and rose up Prophet Harry as God rose up Prophet Moses. And, as God delivered the children of Israel from the mental death and physical bondage of the Egyptian people God has begun to deliver us from the mental death and physical bondage of White America.

Why is it so difficult for you all to understand what I am saying especially since you cannot say I am wrong. My rationale and logic is perfect. It is perfect because God is in to play and constantly inspires me to say the things I say.

So, you can see why Black Americans are dummies. Dummies are people that have the philosophies of other people that keep us from coming together. God helps dummy people. What other people have is for them and Black Americans must get our own.

The cause that must bring us together is that we are all suffering for the same reason and that is what we have in common. What we have in common is that we have nothing that we can say is our own.

For instance, this is how stupid Jake is. He has the philosophy of Abraham and the Jewish people, but this knucklehead is a different race from Jewish people. He has nothing to show that he is connected to Abraham, Moses, King David and Jesus. But, in the state of Israel the Jewish people have everything including a well documented history that they are the descendents of Abraham, Jacob, Isaac, Moses, King David and Jesus.

Likewise; Robert, Siebra and Jamal have the philosophy of the Arabian people and they have nothing to connect them to Mecca in Saudi Arabia, the so-called Blackstone or the Kaaba. They are stupid Black Americans and rightfully so because we are descendents of slaves and slaves are not intelligent people. Slaves are peopling that God rescue out of the hands of their oppressor.

You all avoid me because I am telling the truth. All people have avoided their prophet at one time or another, am I right.

Switching gears, I would like to give props to Ms. Jen when she said on another blog that she has come a far way that she can disagree without being disagreeable.

Ms. Jen used to delete comments that did not agree with her comments. This is something that stupid people do that Ms. Jen does not do any more. Deleting your colleagues' comments is being disagreeable, uncivilized and it gets nobody anywhere. In other words, deleting is going further than disagreeing with the person.

Stupid people do not realize that disagreeing is part of the process of moving forward as one people. Progress takes place when the parties are committed to being upright, in good faith, straightforward and honest.

What Blacks does is that they try to put down other Blacks by any means necessary only so they could look good. This type of thinking is savage.

Anyway, Black Americans must have one thing as a cause of coming together and that one thing should be our sovereignty on a reasonable and fertile portion of this continent that we could call our very own country with borders to worship God as we are taught from our prophet, to pursue life, happiness and prosperity in our own way.

What say you?

Friday, June 24th 2011 at 6:38AM
Harry Watley

harry---

You are always wrong

I do not harbor the same stereotype that you, siebra, jamal and saint exhibit.

yourGroup follows kingJames Logic and Language to describe yourMinds---typical slaverAmericana paganChristianity-1492-1864---nonesense colorWorship

I follow the Science, Logic and Language that describes the Family of Adaam(as) and predominant in the world of 2 Billion Believers of Monotheism Worship through Adaam(as), to Ibraheem(as), to Musa(as), to Isa(as), to Mohamed(as).

and again Mekkah is in The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

Friday, June 24th 2011 at 8:17AM
powell robert

Hello Robert,

Let me show you that something is mentally wrong with you, because you don't comprehend. What you have in your mind is all that you see.

I said we, Black Americans have problems because we have swallowed and digested the philosophy and religions of other people and those religions do not work for us. Other people's religion cannot work for us because we are not those people. Religions are racially personal. If you are not the same race as the prophet that brought that religion to his own people then you are wrong and that religion cannot work for you. Every people must have their own religion.

Now look at what your stupid ass said! Firstly, you said that I am always wrong. Then you said you do not harbor the same stereotype that I exhibit.
Well, explain yourself about this stereotype thing I exhibit that you do not harbor, stupid.
What I have been exhibiting ever since you know me is the sovereignty of Black Americans on a reasonable and fertile portion of this continent that we could call our very own country with borders to worship God, pursue life, liberty, happiness and prosperity in our own way. What is stereotype about this concept, knucklehead? I said that my religion and Black America's religion is LIFE. What is stereotype about my religion since no one else has this religion stupid?

Stupid, I said that you have swallowed and digested Islam and the philosophy of the Arabian people, the Sunnah and Hadith of the Arabian people and Prophet Mohammed; but, at the same time you are not an Arab man.
What you need to do is show that you have not swallowed and digested the Arabian religion of Islam and at the same time you are not an Arab man, as I have said, idiot.

So, how in hell can you say I am wrong?

I have neither swallowed nor digested anything that belongs to other people and this is one of the reasons I was on anointed by God the first genuine prophet of Black Americans because I am a clean vessel. My religion LIFE no other people have my religion. However, the Arabian people had your religion of Islam first, am I right.

Again, you don't understand what is being said to you and that is why you cannot adequately and intelligently respond. You are stupid.

I am talking about one thing and you are talking about something else stupid.

Your behavior frustrates the hell out of me because I have to say the same thing to you over and over.

Friday, June 24th 2011 at 11:23AM
Harry Watley

saint,

your IQ????---has not revealed to you yet that I have given you NO philosophy to follow other the the Truthful Belief in Monotheism from the Original Language and Source.

you are the little guy that wants to give BIA something that NO one in World believes, can prove with science or scholarship or has any History; know by any people -- mainlyJews.

BIA was brought to your pc, to stop silly cartoonish stereotypes of a community of America that IS deprived of Scholarship and History

do your best to understand

Sunday, June 26th 2011 at 8:14AM
powell robert

I defend Mekkah
Sunday, June 26th 2011 at 12:17PM
powell robert

Saint, you raised a real significant and relevant question, and I will humbly attempt to add my "2 cents".

Relationships require rules, and most relationships are broken as the result of one of both parties not wanting to abide by the laws of God. If you are in a committed relationship, then what both parties need to do first is make it known to their significant other that as children of God they have to abide by the Laws of God and allow nothing or no one else outside your relationship to ever interfere or possibly place a wedge between the two of them. This trust and love that they both need to establish is to reassure them both of each other's avowed loyalty in the sight of God. TRUST and really LOVE each other as EQUALS and best friends because you and she are one, not "you, me and he" (as that old song from the 80's goes)
Sunday, June 26th 2011 at 6:06PM
Siebra Muhammad

i LIKE MY 'AFFAIRS' TO NOT BE PLANNED...JUST NATURAL. oVER TIME wHAT EACH OTHER LIKES, DISLIKES, HATED. LOVE, FAVORITES, DISLIKE INTENTLY IS A GREAT START FOR ME...

I Do HAVE SOME PERSONAL SPECIALS i MUST SEE, LEARN, LIKE AND ACCEPT BEFORE COMMITTING...NO, ONLY i WILL KNOW THESE THINGS. IT MAY BE SOMETHING TAHT IS A PET PEEVE O FMINE.

i LIKE TO WATCh HOW THE THE OTHER PRESON TREATS HIMSELF AND HIS.

i CALL ThIS GETTING TO kNOW YOU.

@Jake days like those are over for me, but mine and my husbnad's first choice has lasted for in August 47 years. 9smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA