By Lamar Tyler
By Tara Pringle Jefferson
My friend Chris posted on his Facebook status about how men and women could never be friends so we should just stop trying.
I wanted to write in his box to agree with him, because I wholeheartedly think the whole “Just friends” thing is ridiculous.
But then I realized: Chris is my friend. And he’s a guy.
Hmmm. Busted all sorts of holes in that theory, huh?
As I went through my mental rolodex of guy friends, I realized not a single one of them existed to me outside of the internet. Meaning, our collective interaction could be reduced to a handful of instant messages, Facebook wall posts, comments on my blog, or Twitter updates.
I do not hang out with them after work, we don’t go to concerts together, they certainly don’t come over to my house and chill. We don’t exchange gifts or go to the movies, they don’t really know when my birthday is and I don’t really care when theirs is either. Stopping to think about it, my male friendships are so shallow that I’m not even sure I can call them friends. More like online buddies.
Then I wondered if it had to do with my martial status. My friend Chris is single. All my guy friends are single. Most of them, like Chris, I met online somewhere (we’re in the same professional organization, write for the same websites, etc.) The few that I actually know in real life transitioned to being online buddies once I skipped down the aisle.
So my question to you: Can men and women be friends? How has the internet and all the different modes of communicating now changed that? Is it more acceptable to communicate with, say an ex-boyfriend on Facebook once a week, versus him calling the house once a week? Do you have more friends of the opposite s*x online than you do in real life?
Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog,
www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.
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Thursday, September 8th 2011 at 10:40PM
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