Dr. Frances Cress Welsing, a black psychiatrist suggests:
Choosing a mate for a black person is like choosing a person to share a foxhole, during a battle. A foxhole mate is chosen based on qualities which promote mutuality in the foxhole.
A foxhole mate is one who you choose to fight racism with.
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Remember, you spend most of your time "ducking" (the effects of white supremacy)
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People in foxholes don't have time or resources to "show off".
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People in foxholes attempt to protect each other.
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People in foxholes understand that they cannot completely protect each other.
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People in foxholes understand that s*xual intercourse and or s*xual play in a foxhole is reserved for the comfort, enjoyment and support of victims of attack (racism) or the production of offspring.
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People in foxholes understand that choosing to produce offspring in a foxhole, is risky and difficult business.
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People in foxholes understand that at all times the enemy is out there and that those in the foxhole are the targets.
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Any misunderstanding or disagreements in the foxhole are superceded by the external war, and must be minimized to protect the foxhole.
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There is not much "bliss" in a foxhole.
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There is no "state of happiness" in a foxhole.
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People in foxholes can be "happy" from time to time, generally they must make themselves happy from time to time.
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When disagreements in a foxhole prevent one or both people from protecting the foxhole to the best of their ability it is better for one person to dig a new foxhole.
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Foxholes are the most orderly when there is only one person in a foxhole.
The three most important things that a Black woman and Black man should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship are to:
Love each other.
Respect each other.
Communicate with each other.
What a woman should do? [in order to cultivate and maintain positive mated relationships with each other]:
don't expect too much too soon, after one date,
don't start planning the wedding.
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be yourself, not what you think he wants you to be,
or what you think men want?
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keep your friends,
don't diss them as soon as you get a man.
What a man should do? [in order to cultivate and maintain positive mated relationships with each other]:
be honest: if you're dating other women, say so.
buy the dinner, movie, and leave the tip.,
treat women with respect.
The three most important things that a Black woman should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship with a Black man are:
Cultivate and maintain a solid relationship with God.
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Know thyself: what you desire, what you are, what you intend to manifest, and be brave enough to be alone if he does not compliment that.
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Never make him responsible for your happiness.
The three most important things that a Black man should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship with a Black woman are:
Cultivate and maintain a solid relationship with God.
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Be honest about your intentions and brave enough to withstand it if she decides not to participate.
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Never make her responsible for your manhood.
The three most important things that a Black woman should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship with a Black man are show:
Honesty
Loyalty
Integrity
...these seem to be overlooked on purpose, nowadays.
The three most important things that a Black man should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship with a Black woman are to show:
Honesty
Integrity
Zipper control
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What are the three most important things that a Black woman should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship with a Black man?
While I have my ideas, I'd like to hear what some brothers have to say on this one...
The three most important things that a Black man should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship with a Black woman are to:..
Be able to communicate about his feelings/thoughts/goals. My experience (albeit limited to one brother for the last 20 years) has been full of mistakes on my part that were born out of trying to read his mind.
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Be able to recognize and appreciate compromise from his partner and to reciprocate occasionally.
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Be able to give emotional support and show an interest in trying to understand his partner. Some brothers are far too willing to write off relationship complexities to PMS
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The three (3) most important things that a Black female should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship with a Black male are:
Seek to "Communicate Effectively."
"Love like you've never been hurt before."
Work at "Compromising" for the sake of the relationship.
The three (3) most important things that a Black male should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship with a Black female are:
Don't be afraid to be "Vulnerable."
Be Faithful or be Honest.
Work at "Compromising" for the sake of the relationship.
Posted By: Siebra Muhammad
Friday, September 9th 2011 at 12:42PM
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