If there is one thing we women are fully experienced in, it is falling in love with losers and jerks. This is mostly because we are very emotional beings and we usually think with out hearts only. Mistakes occur but when overly repeated they become a pattern, a very dangerous one which I choose to call the “The Crazy Dance”. It is like dancing to music and then continuing long after it stops.
Everyone loves to fall in love. Actually many more women are in love with the idea of being in love. The culprit is romance novels, soap operas and every other romantic fantasy that we women easily get addicted to. We see things like children; like they are and believe them to be true. As much as this type of thinking is very dangerous, continuing to follow these practices is even worse, why? Because it is subconscious and since we can’t see it happening in the physical, we believe it is not there. You may be asking yourself how all this connects with the topic “How to fall Out of Love with a Loser”? Well, you have to stop being a loser yourself before you can spot one, if not you will only attract what you are. That’s right, we attract what we are.
Most self-image problems stem from a society where all we see in the media is images of the ‘perfect’ woman. So how can a ‘not perfect’ woman like you ever get that ‘perfect guy’? Well, you don’t, so you settle for one less perfect, the jerk and is he happy to have found you too! Now he has an outlet for all his bad behaviors because like you he was also looking for that ‘not perfect’ girl, and usually without being conscious of it.
Women get so blindsided that when they now have a man they forget who they are and all what they stand for falls apart. They become desperate. This goes for both men and women but for the sake of this article we will address women only.
Against our better judgment and great advice from family and friends we jump into this relationship, ready to take the world by storm with this new found lust. Sad thing is most women know when a guy is not right for them, how? Here are a few signs that you are dating a jerk:
1-Aloofness: If there is one thing a man in love is never, it is that he is never aloof. You will become the center of his brain and all its activities.
2-Excuses: Does he make excuses whenever you want to hang out or why he didn’t call you back? More importantly do you find yourself making excuses of any kind for him, excuses to yourself, friends and family? That is a big red flag right there.
3-Doubt: There is an urgency in love that cannot be quenched, meaning he would want to spend as much time with you and you want with him. If a man loves you he will move heavens, defy all odds and climb the highest mountain to show you how he feels. There is no doubt about this one.
4-Forgetfulness: How in the world would a guy who is crazy for you keep forgetting special dates? This, especially in the beginning of a relationship is a red flag, it may seem I’m being too harsh but that’s just you again trying to make excuses, go back and read the second point. There was this guy who was dating someone I know and on what was supposed to be their first Christmas he chose to go visit his father in another state (which is fine) but then decides not to go after all and then never calls the girl to let her know he was in town. He spends the day with his best friend and his best friend’s girlfriend, plus he doesn’t give her a Christmas gift until days after Christmas, makes you wonder if he was waiting for the after Christmas sale. One thing for sure, he was not into her as much as she was into him.
5-Ridicule: Does he make fun of you in front of people, complain about the things you’re not, the things you do and don’t do, call you names and embarrasses you? Does he care less how it makes you feel?
6-s*x: How easily we women give away our bodies, how easily we let ourselves be used and abused, after a while we got to get up and smell the roses. Men are hunters, they like to chase but the boys we have nowadays are like little boys who cry for candy and are readily pacified, they are spoiled, yes, by us. They expect us to give it up easily, why not, others have in the past and we like bad ‘mothers’ wanting to comfort our spoilt brats readily reach for the cabinet and open it up wide to give out all the goodies. If you love yourself and respect your body, no amount of pressure can deter you. We say one thing and our actions say another; there goes the ‘Crazy Dance’ again. There are men who would are not cavalier enough to treat you to take you out on a date or treat you to a nice quiet dinner but are ready to come over to your house when you invite them. Caution: do not invite them into your house until you know who they are and you both have hung out in many public places like on dates and such that is a risk you should never take.
These and many more are just simple things that we forget when our minds are clouded and focused on everything else but what is most important, our peace and sanity.
Protect your heart, protect your mind, and protect your body. Make it a priority to put you first, not in a selfish way but in a way that will make you proud and bring you peace. Your little successes on your self improvement will bring you confidence and that confidence in yourself will go a long way and reach out to every aspect of your life.
So, how do we fall out of love with a loser? For some it may be a slow process but for others, it is just a snap, get out and run as fast as you can in the other direction, because the more you stay in love with this kind of person the more it feeds your self-hate. Truth is deep down inside you know who a loser is but that little voice inside is always overpowered by the other one. From the moment you start to make excuses for someone, you should know something is very wrong and start to slowly cut all ties; these kinds of relationships in the long run will only hurt you more. Listen to your ‘gut’ it is not there only for food!
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Posted By: DAVID JOHNSON
Thursday, April 12th 2012 at 11:58PM
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