When I asked her why she stayed in the relationship, she said that it would be "selfish" of her to do that and "he needs me". She added that it wasn't about her - it was about "him" and that fact that I hadn't considered - that she still loved him. I just can't reconcile this. How an anyone love someone else that is physically, emotionally and psychologically abusive? It seem to me she is just being a doormat for him.
idiotsav...
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Of course you're right but you won't be able to make her see it. She has to be the one who decides when she's had enough. Be there for her and when she talks about it remind her of how many women who have died because she "loved him". That's all you can do if she's an adult. If she's under age a true friend would tell her parents. She may hate you for it but you can't watch her destroy her life.
Other Answers (9)
Bailey's mom♥
As sad as it may seem, there is really nothing you can do, it is up to your friend to stay in this relationship and/or have enough courage to leave the relationship. Just be a friend, and be supportive. It is hard when you see someone go through an abusive relationship, I know, my mom was married to an abusive man and as much as we kept telling her to "get out", she had to make the decision on her own, and one day, thank God, she did. Just be there for her and let her know that when ever she decides to take that first step and leave him, you will and always will be there for her.
Source(s):
Learned from my mom's experience.
Chelsea
Times like this are times when you need too be a good friend and slap her in the face, Obviously she needs too understand that she is better then him men should never hit woman, and woman should never hit men you need too sit down with her and talk some common sense into her when your in a abusive relationship your common sense is taking away from you.
If he hits you once he'll hit you again
If he says he'll kill you he eventually will.
I'm not sure how helpful this is but you really just need too talk some common sense into her and let her know that she is better then this she doesn't need him..
Good luck...:)
Ocimom
I was in an abusive marriage. Its not that easily "fixed". Until the person realizes exactly what is going on and willing to leave, you cannot make or convince them to do so. I strongly suggest you get her to read the book that helped me get out of my situation. Abuse Survivors Speak Out by Patricia Evans.
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tanja370...
Buy this cd. Saffire the Uppity Blues Women is the band. Live and Uppity is the name of it. The singer, Gaye with a huge last name, sings about abuse, self confidence, bad marriages and she is a strong advocate for abused women. Give your friend this cd. This will help open her eyes. The psychology of an abused woman is limited and this cd will educate her and help her become mentally stronger. The songs on this cd are available online but aren't nearly as good as the live version. Always be available to talk to your friend. She will need you. She will get stronger but it's going to take some time and yes a few more bruises.
Posted By: DAVID JOHNSON
Tuesday, May 29th 2012 at 8:15PM
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