Speak up.
You may never see a man abusing his partner or witness a rape, but you will see and hear attitudes and behaviors that degrade women and promote rape and abuse. When your best friend tells a joke about abusing women in some way, say you don’t find it funny. When you read an article that blames an abusive relationship survivor for being abused, write a letter to the editor. When laws are proposed that limit women’s rights, let politicians know that you won’t support them. Do anything but remain silent.
Don’t engage in any forms of s*xual harassment, such as wolf-whistling, cat-calling, unwanted touching, outrageous or inappropriate behavior. Women are not public property, available for our intrusions. Neither are men.
Develop an awareness of the cultural supports for violence against women. Develop the ability to recognize myths which support violence against women.
If a brother, friend, classmate, or teammate is abusing his female partner—or is disrespectful or abusive to girls and women in general—don’t look the other way. If you fell comfortable doing so, try to talk to him about it. Urge him to seek help. Or if you don’t know what to do, consult a friend, a parent, a professor, or a counselor. DON”T REMAIN SILENT.
Talk with women…
About how violence against women and fear of violence against women affects their daily lives; about how they want to be supported if it has happened to them; about what they think men can do to prevent s*xual violence. If you’re willing to listen, you can learn a lot from women about the impact of relationship abuse and how to stop it.
Become an ally to the women in your life – do not participate in s*xist behavior by objectifying or stereotyping women.
Believe people when they tell you they’ve been raped or abused. Support what they say about it. Don’t ask about their behavior, what they were wearing, etc. Listen to them.
Recognize that women neither ask for nor deserve to be raped or abused ever.
Talk with men…
About how it feels to be seen as a potential abuser; about whether they know someone who’s been abused. Learn about how relationship abuse touches the lives of men and what we can do to stop it.
Mentor and teach young boys about how to be men in ways that don’t involve degrading or abusing girls and women. Volunteer to work with gender violence prevention programs, including anti-s*xist men’s programs. Lead by example.
Approach gender violence as a MEN’s issue involving men of all ages and socioeconomic, racial and ethnic backgrounds. View men not only as perpetrators or possible offenders, but as empowered bystanders who can confront abusive peers.
Posted By: DAVID JOHNSON
Friday, February 8th 2013 at 6:11PM
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