At this time of the year we take a few moments to pause and give thanks for the many blessings that we have been fortunate enough to receive. I have been truly blessed in my life with people that love me in spite of my flaws... a wife of 13 years who possesses great strength, intelligence, humor, warmth and faith to share my hopes and dreams, twin sons that fill me with great pride, joy, laughter and drive me nuts, good friends that are proud to call me their friend.
What seems to be a lifetime ago, my brother and I were in automobile accident. He was sleeping in the back seat. Although we were both extremely tired, we had to get to our destination by the appointed time or suffer dire consequences. We never made it. I fell asleep at the wheel and went off the road and hit an embankment only a few feet from a steep ravine. When I awoke, I first called to my brother but there wasn't any answer. I tried to turn around and look for him but I wasn't able to, so I reached over the seat and tried to feel for him, but he wasn't there. I next tried to open the door to get out of the car. As I pushed on the door, a jolt of excruciating pain far worse than anything that I've ever felt in my life shot through me. When I finally recovered, I realized that I couldn't get out that way. As I took stock of my situation, I noticed that the windshield was gone and there were tree branches across the front of the car. I again called out to my brother but there still was no answer. I figured that he was unconscious and unable to answer so I needed to get us out of this situation before something bad happened.
There were pieces of glass all over the front seat and grass on the passenger side windows. I realized that I needed to get a passerby's attention some kind of way so I took off my dog tags and tied the horn down, thinking that someone would be able to hear it if they were close enough. Thinking that it was a good idea to tie down the horn, I laid down on my arm to keep my face out of the broken glass and went to sleep because I was really drained at that point. I don't know how long I laid there when this voice in my head said, "Wake up, this is not the time to sleep." I opened my eyes and struggled to get up. This time, the pain was far worse than the first time. Resting on my forearm, I looked over the dashboard and saw smoke rising from beneath the hood. I made sure that the horn was still going and tried to kick the door open, but that didn't work either. I called again to my brother with still no answer. As the pain overtook me, I laid back down in the seat and closed my eyes while I tried to catch my breath. For the next few minutes, I tried to stock of my current situation. The seat, my arm and the shirt I was wearing was soaked in blood from the multiple cuts on my face and head. The car began to fill with smoke coming through the vents, so raised up on my forearm again to see what was going on. This time I saw flames coming from under the crumpled hood and tried to get up once again, but to no avail. I fell back onto the seat and once again, as my eyes closed, I called to my brother.
I felt it getting very warm and I realized that the flames were getting closer. I opened my eyes and looked at the roof of the car. The flames had made it to the interior and the cloth was burning, with pieces falling around and on me. I put out the burning fabric that I could reach and yelled to my brother repeatedly. As I lay in the burning car I remembered saying, "Lord, I don't want to die like this, not without a fight or save my brother from a horrible fate." Suddenly, i heard a voice say, "You aren't going to die. We are going to get you out." I looked up and caught a blurred glimpse of a figure. I told him that he had to get my brother out first and I could wait. I heard a woman's voice say, "That's who the other one is." He asked was I able to move at all, I told him no. He said that he was going to reach in and wanted me to pull myself out. I told him, "When you reach in, you will have to pull me out." This time, the pain was out of this world. I felt them carry me some distance from the car and laid me down on my back. That hurt WAY too much so I asked them to roll me over onto my stomach. As I laid there I remember hearing someone ask if anyone new mouth to mouth. I told them that I did, but the lady told me that it was alright and that I needed to rest. I told her that I could give instructions for the procedure if they needed it, which I did. During this time, I never realized that they were talking about my brother. I later found out that he had been thrown through the back window after the initial impact and I was the only one in the car when they arrived. I was also told that he died at the scene.
Eventually the ambulance arrived and took me to the hospital. During the ride, I kept falling in and out of consciousness.
When I arrived at the hospital, I could see the overhead lights passing over me as I was transported to the emergency room where they prepared me for surgery. I remember telling the doctors how much my back, neck and head were hurting. They told me that I had been in a very bad accident and that the pain was to be expected. They inserted a tube in my ribs because the steering wheel had crushed them on the left side. That brought tears to my eyes and I said, "Please, no more pain." He said that he was sorry and that he wouldn't try to hurt me anymore. I remembered the doctor telling me to relax because he needed to check for internal injuries. I then told him that I was and even showed him by tensing the muscles in my stomach. He was surprised at the degree of muscle development and commented on it stating that he had never encountered that degree of development before. I guess it pays to stay in shape. Anyway, after I was examined, the doctor ordered the nurses to prepare me for surgery. They cut me out of my clothes and shaved me for surgery. I couldn't stay awake any longer and I told them to wake me up when they were finished.
I awoke a few days later, my sister's voice saying, "George, it's time to wake up.'' I opened my eyes and saw my family smiling at me. The first thing I said was, "How is Mark?" My father said, "He's fine, he's a lot better off than you." About that time, the nurse came in and told my family that it was time for my medication and that they would have to leave. They all gave me a kiss and slowly left the room. As the medication kicked in and began to lose consciousness, I saw my family look back at me and smile. After a few days, the family came back and told me the grim news of my brother's death. I felt the tears fill my eyes as I looked at the faces of my parents and sisters, their eyes with tears as well.They told me that his funeral was the next day at eleven. I spent the next day watching the clock and fighting the pain killer. A few hours later, I met the doctor that performed the surgery. He told me that I would never walk again and that i would probably not be able to have a family. I politely told him to get out and leave me alone, at least I thought I was, and looked out the window and began to cry. As I laid there looking, I decided that I was going to walk again. The image of Kunta Kinte of 'Roots' came to mind and the line where he said, "I will not walk again, I am going to run." I knew, right then and there that noone was qualified to tell me what I could or could not do but me.
Over the next several months, I began the long road to recovery. I found out that I suffered major injuries and that I even died on the operating table. My head shattered the windshield and they took several pieces of glass out of my forehead. It took several stitches to close all of the cuts. I had cracked a vertebra in my neck and my spine had separated and slid down in the thoracic section like a jammed finger. They had to fuse the entire lumbar section and put steel rods on each side to stabilize the repairs. I was put in a cast from my neck to my upper thigh.
The recovery was slow and painful. I had to have a second surgery because one of the wires used to keep the rods in place popped loose. During the second surgery they changed the rods for a stronger type that would give me greater stability. It took me a couple of years before I was strong enough, but I returned to college where we both attended, eventually finishing with my BA in mathematics and education.
I am a walking, talking family man and a living witness to the power that God has in his hands. I know that He brought me through a mighty long way but I still don't know why I am still here. It could be that I am suppose to be a witness to his grace and mercy. Maybe through teaching, being able to help children become successful and gain confidence. I have since left the teaching profession due to the injuries and the severity of the pain and head trauma. However, over the years, I have run into several of my former students. Some of them have gone on to college and some have started families of their own. They still remember the crazy math teacher that taught them a lot more than just math. They began to believe in themselves as much as I believed in them.
My only regret is that I can't take care of my family financially because I simply am unable to work due to the large doses of painkillers that I have to take daily. However, I have become a pretty good homemaker and I've always been an excellent cook, that's how I managed to get my wife, among other skills. I hope to be a good role model for my sons and teach them the lessons they need to learn along the way. I hope that I can one day find a way for my wife to no longer need to work so that we can enjoy our lives before we are too old to enjoy the sunsets on the water, walks in the park and dancing to our favorite music. She deserves these things and so much more. I love her more than anyone ever before and I am so very thankful that God brought her to me. he truly does answer prayers because I asked for her and she came and brightened my whole world. I remember the day that we were married and how she glowed. That sight has permanently been engraved into my mind and every time I see her smile, I remember that day filled with sunshine and laughter. I truly have a lot to be thankful for each and every day.
So, on this Thanksgiving day, I wish for all of you love, peace and happiness. May your days be blessed and filled with sunshine even on those rainy days. May you be surrounded by those who love you and may their smiles and laughter fill the air. May your trials make you stronger in faith and love so that you can, in turn, be a witness to his grace and mercy. Be well my friends and.... don't forget to put your foot into that meal.
Posted By: George Milliken
Monday, November 24th 2008 at 3:18AM
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