Tamron Hall (Image courtesy of MSNBC)
Christina told the story of being held hostage in a home and beaten with a belt by the "love of her life." His love marks came in the form of stitches in her head. One day, he even cornered her outside of her school. He was furious that she had cut off all ties to him. He told Christina, "I will put you in that hospital across the street if you don't give me your new phone number." Christina told of how she felt there was no help--somehow, the system was failing her and helping him. It was not until Christina met Ian Harris, an attorney with Day One, that Christina was able to get an order of protection that would keep her former love away for five years--the longest term that can be applied in New York family court. Even so, many young women find all-too-soon that an order of protection, even for five years, is not a guarantee of safety. You ponder that for me. In spite of what she went through, Christina is now a successful young woman, studying law in college and working to help others.
The second speaker was Karin, who, like so many of us, found the man of her dreams her first year in college. But instead of a love story to share for the ages, her story was one of abuse. Karin was isolated from her family and friends as a result of being manipulated by her boyfriend. He uttered the infamous line, "I tear you down so I can build you back up" when Karin asked why he verbally abused her over and over again. Karin found her world closing in on her as every holiday was spent with his family--not her own. He demanded that she spend every hour of the day with him and not her own friends. It's as if she woke up to a world he built--or should I say, a prison. Karin's tipping point came when her boyfriend threatened to drive his car off the road--she believed that his goal was to kill them both. Karin soon talked to a counselor and found the strength that she needed to leave the relationship. A short time later, Karin contacted Day One in hopes of becoming a volunteer. Not only is she currently a volunteer, Karin is now in her first year of law school.
Day One cites a recent New York City Teen Health Risk Survey showing that one in ten teenagers had experienced physical or s*xual assault in a dating relationship within the previous year. Even more startling, it tells that nearly 1,400 teenagers call the New York City Domestic Violence Hotline each month. Of course, domestic violence isn't limited to any one city or state--it's a problem that's becoming more and more prevalent throughout the entire country.
I could go on forever with facts and figures that might leave your head swirling. Instead, I will leave you with this: Renate, my fun-loving, energetic and streetwise sister is my inspiration for this story. She was found one Sunday morning, facedown in her backyard pool. Her hair had been pulled from the back of her head. Her nails were broken on every finger, indicating that she had fought back. But whom had she been fighting? I will never learn in the form of official charges, but what I can say about her death is that the only person ever considered a suspect or person of interest in the case was the man she loved. She often remarked that they had a "love-hate relationship," and that they would "break up to make up." Sadly, on that day, Renate's view of love ended in struggle and pain. My father always believed that justice would eventually be served, but he passed away only a few years after Renate, and his dream of seeing her killer brought to justice will never be realized.
Day One, and other organizations like it, has made a commitment to so many mothers, daughters, sisters and friends to end domestic abuse. In fact, Day One has reached over 6,000 college students through awareness events. But no matter how far they have come, they still need volunteers, they still need voices and they still need you.
The victims are getting younger. The abusers are getting younger. The clock is ticking...
In memory of
Renate "Angel"
1955-2004
Tamron Hall is the host of NewsNation on MSNBC, which airs weekdays at 2pm. She is also a frequent substitute on NBC's Today Show
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Wednesday, October 13th 2010 at 11:38AM
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