By Black Love And Marriage.com on March 17, 2012
In Conflict Management
By Ruth Purple
When friends and loved ones hate your significant other, it can be a major disappointment. There’s no doubt that this can be a painful issue, since conflicts are always waiting to happen. The situation can make you feel as if the people who matters most in your life are disrespecting you by disrespecting your darling and your happiness. This type of relationship dislike is not something new, and it is sure to cause deeper problems such as stress in the relationship. It may be surprising, but more often than not, the core of this mutual loathing can be your fault. Not by purpose, of course— surely you never meant to cause this mayhem of tumultuous emotions especially from your loved ones.
However, it can always happen when you pass on details of your relationship troubles to these people. No matter how good your intentions are, once you open up to other people and reveal your private relationship woes, you are definitely adding fuel to the fire. Well, it could be that you simply needed a shoulder to cry on, a comforting hug or some dependable advice from someone you have confidence in. But, you are actually giving other people a reason for passing negative judgments on your significant other and very likely a not-so-good impression as well. Every relationship has problems, because there is no such thing as a perfect one.
There will always be bumps and snags, even a few battles. But, it is imperative in a relationship to keep a couple’s problems in private as much as possible. The need for a sound advice is always okay or maybe just a friend to talk to when things get rough. For the most part, however, problems and conflicts must be resolved by the two people who are directly involved in it: you and your partner. Constantly seeking help from family or friends regarding these problems will make them think that your darling is a horrible person for making your life miserable, constantly putting you through pain and heartaches.
Although your partner is actually far from being that awful person, you have to expect some amount of negative reactions and opinions from your loved ones. Don’t be shocked when they start to hate your significant other and assume that you’ll be better off with somebody else—after all, what they hear about are only the negative things. Most of the time, one can actually do better when not saying anything instead of saying too much. If family and friends have already developed a somewhat not-so-good opinion about your beloved, it’s time to turn things around and sway their opinions. The best and simplest way to do it is to keep your mouth shut: no more whining about how sloppy the other person is, or what a horrible snore he’s got! Stop talking about the problems—even the very small ones.
Instead, try to talk about the positive qualities of your significant other. Talk about the persons’ accomplishments, and the nice little things that he/she did for you. Build up the person, brag if you can! Surely the negative opinions will fade over time, and bring about a general level of acceptance. Overly judgmental relatives and friends have always existed and will continue to exist. It is something that a person can never run away from. Isolating yourself and your beloved rather than trying to fix the problem will only cause further ill feelings. They will surely hate your significant other even more, for creating a gap between you and them.
Simply try to maintain your relationship out of decency and respect, while showing them just how much you value and love your significant other for what he/she truly is.
The author of this article Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth recently published a new home study course on how to get your cheating spouse back. More info about this “Winning Your Man Back From Infidelity” program is available athttp://www.YouCanGetHimBack.com.
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Saturday, March 17th 2012 at 6:12PM
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