I see the tree behind the billboard when everyone else sees the gas station.
I don't take life seriously and I prance around being light hearted and carefree. Most people call me stupid and Naive. I won't deny those accusations.
I have no money. No job. And I'm not in school. Although I know I should be.
I know I should have all those things.
I am 20 years old.
My friends always say they wish they could handle stress like I do. They wish they could be optimistic like me.
I'm not optimistic all the time though.
I am happy for a few weeks.
When I get in that high feeling mindset. Where I think I can do anything.
I'll start projects. I'll go out. I plan trips for myself even though I have no money. I just dream about them. And I somehow trick myself into thinking that they will happen. And that I will not be stuck in this town forever.
But then I crash. Reality hits me all at once and sends me into these horrible days of self doubt.
I ignore reality most of the time. I try to, anyway.
'I'll be somebody...no matter what.' I always say to myself.
But then I think about the things I have accomplished and I realize that I haven't accomplished anything.
Most of the time I stay in my optimistic state of mind where anything can happen.
But I know that I can't do that forever.
I have to enter the real world one day.
I think that there are some people out there that were just not meant for the real world though. They are the dreamers and the inventors and the artists and the ones that make others wonder.
I notice the things that nobody else sees.
Sometimes I feel as if something is horribly wrong with me...because I view the world so differently than everyone else.
Maybe something is wrong with me. I don't know.
I am seeing everything around me with different eyes than the people next to me.
And its lonely.
I tell myself that there are other people out there like me. We are all frustrated and waiting to meet each other...us dreamers.
But maybe we are destined to wander through life alone. If we were all together, nothing would ever get done.
I guess we need these real world people by our sides to keep us some what grounded to reality.
I hope I don't sound to crazy.
If any one even reads this, that is.
Well if you are reading this, and you have some good words of wisdom for me that are not brutally harsh...do share.
And if by some chance anything that i said in this rampage makes you think of yourself, I would love to talk to you. We can dream together.
Posted By: DAVID JOHNSON
Wednesday, April 11th 2012 at 7:12PM
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