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Some say a black man might like to take part in a relationship with a white woman because they are not familiar with the race.This gives the relationship in itself a kind of thrill, and makes it one to store in the memory box. The white woman looks different, acts different, smells different, comes from a different world. A black man knows a black woman like the back of his hand, so this makes the black woman a bit of a bore. They then seek out the unknown or thrill they think they’ll get with a white woman which they think will get them out of the little box which they live in. We found a website/blog that is exploring the fascination with white women and has started a dialogue for everyone to weigh in on. The site, afieldnegro.com, has put together a plethora of examples that may or may not be surprising in an effort to open up the floor to this discussion.
Posted By: DAVID JOHNSON
Friday, August 24th 2012 at 3:16PM
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Most Black men in the US go for White women whether they're great or nobodies, rich or poor, smart or stupid. White women have been held up as the standard of beauty in the US so most men whether they're Black, White, or Latino seek them out as ideal mates.
It just so happens that rich Black men have the resources to attract the women of thier choosing so with that mentality they're gonna obviously choose White women.
Don't let 'em fool you though......some of the most poverty stricken brothers running around in the ghetto would get a White woman too if they could. They're just too scare to come around his hood where he can get at them.
Saturday, August 25th 2012 at 5:18PM
Siebra Muhammad
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Rich black men run to white women because there is no better option in their situation. Usually the white woman will divorce the black man later and take most of his money. Black men almost always marry down in interracial relationships.
Notice how white woman/black man relationships have the lowest success rates. This is because most black man expect the white women to submit and the white woman is not going to submit to a black man long term because she knows she is higher...what most of us would call "pecking order."
Rich black men marry "good" white women--because that is what they want. They have been bred since childhood to consider white women the ideal and resent the black women.
Sunday, August 26th 2012 at 3:57PM
Siebra Muhammad
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/*
As Salaam Aliakum My Dear Sweet Sister... Would you include me in your analogy/description? I am not a rich Black Man. Nor will I ever be... The nearly 40 year relationship that I have described would be considered rare in light of the fact that I do concurr with some of what you espouse.
By-the-by, I do not expect my wife to be subserviant by any means or description. As far as what I've been bred to do makes me wonder why God has decided to make me as militant as I could possibly be and have been through out my existence. Also, I do not consider or choose to consider any wopman over The Black Woman!
I would also encourage you to do a bit of research into this topic and reevaluate your position - "Pecking Order," - "Good White Women" - "Lowest Success Rates" - "Resentment of Black Women?" I don't think so.
My Mate and I are of a different epoch than many of you young people, so I can half-way understand where you are coming from. I see it as a lack of experience on the assumption that I don't truly know anything about your background - other than what you have choosent to share with me/us. And you do not truly know anything about Me and Mine, other than what I have chosen to share with my onliine friends and you.
Our children are all successful, professional, caring, and contributing adults with families of thier own. Now I call that a pretty good success rate.
Ask Our Brother, President Barack H. Obama, how he feels about this topic and discussion. Would you consider him inferior?
Thank you for your indulgence and patience Dear Sister, My Friend.
Peace and Love,
Greg.
*/
Sunday, August 26th 2012 at 8:55PM
Gregory V. Boulware, Esq.
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I don't intend to hurt anyone's feelings by my comment, but I once worked in a well known department store as an overnight clerk and I saw various mixed couples close up and face to face. I notice that most White females had un-evasive eyes while the eyes of their Black mate were cloudy and dim. I thought to myself "why would she want to make love and look into the eyes of someone that you can't tell were he's looking'.
Tuesday, August 28th 2012 at 4:58AM
Helen Lofton
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Humm...? What an interesting analogy Sister Helen. Makes me wonder too...
Peace and Love,
Greg.
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Tuesday, August 28th 2012 at 3:19PM
Gregory V. Boulware, Esq.
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There’s a lot of FRICTION between Black men and Black women. We can lie to ourselves and pretend that the problem is not there, or we can do something to try and address this problem. What I’m trying to do is create a dialogue, so that we can take a look at this problem.
I’ve often heard Black men complain about Black women hot temper, and their attitude. A few weeks ago I was talking to some brothers, and they said man I love sisters, but it seems like they are never satisfied.
A black man knows a black woman like the back of his hand, so this makes the black woman a bit of a bore. They then seek out the unknown or thrill they think they’ll get with a white woman which they think will get them out of the little box which they live in.
Tuesday, August 28th 2012 at 4:07PM
DAVID JOHNSON
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more feed back
I've been devoted to dating black women my entire life. However, recently I met a dazzling Italian-Croatian woman with beauty, s*x appeal, brains -- the whole nine yards. We hit it off majorly. Now I'm concerned about the backlash from sisters. Should I be? --N.J.
I'll tell you the same thing I tell single black women who are looking for love and happen to find it, or something like it, with someone of another color: Congratulations! It seems you've stumbled upon someone who makes you happy. Surely, you've been dating long enough to know that meeting a person who is "dazzling" is a rare thing. Cherish the feeling and enjoy the moments.
The hype about the backlash among black women to black men dating nonblack women is greatly exaggerated. There's a prevailing notion that if black women spot a "brother" with a nonblack mate, they will fly into some sort of seething rage like Angela Bassett from Waiting to Exhale.
In reality, for those who actually care, the reaction is more like the "wince" that Jill Scott wrote about (and received so much mainstream backlash for) in the April 2010 issue of Essence. Scott wrote, "Our minds do understand that people of all races find genuine love in many places. We dig that the world is full of amazing options. But underneath, there is a bite, no matter the ointment, that has yet to stop burning." That "bite" isn't really about you or your mate but, rather, about all of the things that you two unfairly represent for some people.
With everyone and his mother yelling statistics about the number of black women who don't or won't get married, and the prevailing (and inaccurate) idea that black men of substance will "leave your ass for a white girl," as Kanye West popularly put it, there will be some -- again, some -- black women who won't be happy about your decision.
When it comes to black men, there are some black women who have the "devotion" that you spoke of and don't believe in interracial dating for anyone, including themselves. They tend to feel an ownership of black men because of a shared complexion and struggle against racism, and they expect black men to feel the same.
To those women, it just won't seem fair or right that their beds (or that of a "good black woman" they know who is single and looking) are going cold while you occupy yours with someone not black. When you're out with your lady, yes, in 2012, you may get a side-eye or the occasional negative coFor some black women, your choice of a partner will be a reminder of all the ways in which "white is right" (and, conversely, "black is not") is upheld in so much of the media and popular entertainment. Your intertwined hands, looking so much like an ad from Spike Lee's Jungle Fever, become an illogical indicator that you buy into the notion that black women aren't good or desirable enough for a commitment.
They are also a reminder of the hateful vitriol spewed at black women by some black men that is no different from what you'd hear from your average Klan member. Those men -- likely raised, supported and nurtured by black women -- still stereotype black women as angry, aggressive and otherwise unlovable. (Just wait for the comments on this story. You'll see that this mindset is pervasive.) Like the Tea Party, these men are a vocal and persistent (and irrational) minority.
For various reasons, not everyone will like your choice. And not everyone has to. If you're happy, then that's all that really matters.
For immediate family who may be opposed, take the time to explain, once, why you've chosen your mate. These family members are likely important to you, and now that you know some reasons they might be upset, there's no need to further aggravate the situation by becoming defensive the first time they may offer commentary that is out of line. Unfortunately, if they don't understand, or choose not to accept your mate, there's not much you can do about it beyond requiring that they respect you and your partner.
And as for everyone else who might not like it? Sure, you could go around justifying and overexplaining your relationship to the black women who are bothered. Or you can just live your life, enjoy your partner and let other people have their perspective.
I'm a fan of The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by New Age spiritualist Don Miguel Ruiz. The Second Agreement is "Don't take anything personally." Loosely, it means that what other people say and how they react to you is about them -- not you. You will be served well if you remember that sentiment when negative feedback comes your way.
Tuesday, August 28th 2012 at 4:09PM
DAVID JOHNSON
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