There are some who struggle with the idea of being wrong or having to apologize. There are others who are stubborn as mules and will stand firm in their belief whether it’s right or wrong. Even in a committed partnership, with the person they love, some people are simply not willing to “give in”. They will stand their ground and fight, even when the fight isn’t justified or makes no sense to prolong.
When I reference “give in,” I don’t suggest admitting you’re wrong even when you aren’t, or keeping quiet about how you feel and not speaking up. In this context, it means being the first one willing to end a conflict on a positive note. That might include accepting responsibility for your actions and apologizing for them. Acknowledging what you personally could have done better, regardless if your spouse does or not, is also part of giving in. It’s also about not waiting on your spouse to improve the situation when you also have the power to do so. Some may question how this benefits their relationship, but trust me it does significantly contribute to parts of your relationship success.
There are certain truths about “giving in” which most couples fail to realize. The reality in giving in, contrary to popular belief, is you won’t lose anything. Saving face isn’t worth it, if it jeopardizes your relationship. What is so great about being right, if it causes you and your spouse not to be on speaking terms? You haven’t won if your relationship suffers the loss.
Another benefit is maintaining peace in your relationship. What are you willing to sacrifice to have long lasting harmony in your marriage? Who doesn’t look forward to returning to a home where two adults dwell, who know how to communicate effectively and where drama and confusion are minimal.
An additional advantage would be that this action could possibly steer the relationship in the right direction. When we take the focus off of what our spouse is or isn’t doing and continue to do what we know is right, we are actually setting a standard for our relationship; and spouses generally follow the lead.
Once we remove the negative connotation that comes along with “giving in” more couples will appreciate the value it brings to a marriage. The next time you find yourself in a challenging situation with your spouse, be the first to take the lead in turning it around and witness the overall affect it has on your relationship.
Posted By: DAVID JOHNSON
Friday, September 7th 2012 at 1:43PM
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