But I didn’t believe the reports until
I came and saw it with my own eyes.
I wasn’t even told half of it. Your wisdom
and wealth surpass the stories I’ve heard.
~ 1 Kings 10:7 [God’s Word Translation]
God attempts to reach you so many times, but your flesh that seems to be influenced by His adversary attacks your emotions and creates feelings that control your mind to push you in the opposite direction - far away from Him. You, crying in silence and wanting so desperately to believe in the existence of an higher power, God, you envision Him riding to your rescue on a white horse to save the day and set things forever right. However, all you notice from day to day is nothing but chaos and immoral decay.
And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt;
for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.
~ Genesis 6:12
Striving to do what’s right, you stumble across many traps that are set with the intention of destroying your mind to make you docile and mindless like a puppet on a string. Most times you are successful to avoid the snares, but other times you are greeted by roadblocks and strongholds holding you at bay for far too long like getting lost in a maze with no end in sight. Occasionally, you meet people along the way who are genuinely sincere, so you let down your guard in the celebration of hope. With hope in tow, you quickly forget to cover your heart and come across another person who is disguised as a friend. Blind-sided by hope and the love for your fellow man, it was actually a wolf pretending to be a sheep thus making you realize, you lowered your guard much too soon without a net to catch you or to fall back on!
They also that seek after my life lay snares for me:
and they that seek my hurt speak mischievous things,
and imagine deceits all the day long.
~ Psalm 38:12
Feeling hurt and bamboozled, you give in to your emotions while being determined to trust no one; not even God, ever again. Your hurt turns into sorrow and your sorrow into pain. Falling and sinking deeper, you wonder why you bother to do what’s right when so many of the unrighteous people around you seem to prosper just the same. Telling yourself to be like the rest, something inside of you tells you that just ain’t so! Tumbling downward, you go deeper into a sea of depression controlled by guilt and anguish. Being down a lot longer than you were up is going to take much healing should you be determined not to revisit your past. Searching for a life line, you make several attempts to pull yourself up. Knowing it will take a miracle, you are too ashamed of your actions to call on the one person you know could help you. In your fragile state and afraid to move on, you wallow in self pity all the more wishing you had not blamed God for the confusion in your life.
What is my strength, that I should hope? and what is mine end,
that I should prolong my life?
~ Job 6:11
Perhaps hearing the sound of His voice will cause you to come alive. Allowing you to hear that audible voice only made you more suspicious about your mental state. God’s adversary was hard at work in your mind telling you that it was impossible to trust what you could not see. Entering a room, God allowed you to smell fear and wickedness. Running from one room to the next, you ask yourself what is that grotesque stench in the air. Trying to make sense of it all, you still run from one room to the next only to feel something different. This time you are not greeted by a smell, but notice the presence of an all consuming unfriendly energy. Thinking back to a book you once read, you understand the blessing of being able to discern the spirits through the Holy Spirit that dwells within you.
But the eyes of the wicked shall fail,
and they shall not escape,
and their hope shall be as the giving up of the ghost.
~ Job 11:20
Unfortunately, the darkness surrounding you will not give an opening to any speck of light. Your spiritual insensitivity will not allow you to see beyond the visible to acknowledge the supernatural powers of God. However, if He has any chance at all of brining you back to Him, He knows He must try with all His might. Attempting to undo the damage of His adversary, He pitches one life line after the next. Your pain becomes His pain and His permissive will releases you from an environment you no longer wish to endure. Imagine God loving you so much that He not only anoints you with the Holy Spirit, but activates the gifts to help you along your journey. Distraught about your disbelief and lack of faith in His existence as a result of all the negative things you have encountered in your life, you start to feel discouraged and God continues to make several attempts to draw you closer still.
Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing,
that ye may abound in hope,
through the power of the Holy Ghost.
~ Romans 15:13
Wrongfully thinking He let you down so many times before, you know you must trust Him for only He can help you. Putting aside your pride, you reach for faith and ask for God’s forgiveness as you believe in love again. I believe!
Who against hope believed in hope,
that he might become the father of many nations,
according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be.
~ Romans 4:18
Written on January 29, 2009
Posted on July 21, 2013
Ann Gwen Mack
Posted By: Ann Mack
Sunday, July 21st 2013 at 5:24AM
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