BY: Tiya Cunningham-Sumter - 5 Dec '13 | Parenting
Black and Married With Kids.com
A Positive Image of Marriage and Family
Married folks know the amount of work required in creating a healthy relationship. For others, looking on from the outside, it may sometimes look like it’s more trouble than it’s worth. Some of our marriages paint a negative image and send others running in the opposite direction. I’ve heard singles say they’d rather stay single as a result of being a witness to unhealthy partnerships. Even our children are observing and their futures will be a result of what they see in the home. Some will go on and be successful in love and marriage. Others might struggle in their unions because they aren’t sure of what it takes to make it all work. Then, there will be those who avoid commitments altogether because they may doubt the power they have to be happy in love.
Commitment is a big deal and should never be entered into lightly. Those who avoid commitment find themselves bouncing from relationship to relationship. They fear the long-term connection a serious relationship could bring about. They typically flee at the first signs of real love. Usually they find themselves alone, wishing and desiring more. They end up with regrets and sometimes other issues. They sometimes never get to experience the joy that a strong marriage will deliver. They could potentially go their whole life without loving someone special. Although it will ultimately be their choice, I don’t want this for my daughters.
It’s a huge responsibility as a parent to manage a household, raise a family and maintain a great marriage at the same time. However, our children need to be guided, not just in training for adulthood, but being equipped with what they need to become a great spouse. If my daughters do decide to marry and raise a family, there are certain things I want them to know:
Yes commitment requires work, but it greatly adds to your life when done correctly.
Their relationship will be a direct reflection of what they put into it and the person they choose.
They must be careful in the selection. One bad pick can cause a lifetime of regret.
They can’t run when things seem a little harder than they thought. With everything worth having, they will have to realize they will have to contribute.
They are deserving of true love and happiness and it is okay to pursue.
I am always mindful that my daughters are watching our every move. They giggle when we hug and they sit quiet when we disagree. I know they are just soaking it all in, preparing themselves for their future relationships. My daughters make me want to give my marriage my everything. I don’t want them to live a life without experiencing love at its best.
BMWK, what are you showing your children about commitment?
About the author
Tiya Cunningham-Sumter
Twitter
http://www.lifeediting.com Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and a Career Coach/Trainer. She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya was recently featured in Ebony Magazine and on the Michael Baisden Show. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two children. For more of Tiya's life and love wisdom, visit her weekly blog at
www.notyouraverageadvice.com.
Posted By: Yaiqab Saint
Thursday, December 5th 2013 at 1:42PM
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