BY: Tiya Cunningham-Sumter - 22 May '14 | Marriage
Black and Married With Kids.com
A Positive Image of Marriage & Family
When I was single I was excited about the idea of love and marriage. I had so many thoughts regarding my future relationship. The type of wife I would be, the city I would live in and the number of children I would have were all part of my daydreams. So when I actually started dating seriously, I brought energy, playfulness and honesty. For whoever ended up being my one and only, I wanted them to get a little taste of what it would be like to spend a forever with me.
The beginning of most relationships is always similar to a fun adventure of spontaneity and discovery. Being single, while sometimes challenging, was also an experience I’ll never forget.
There are some behaviors that occur during our time of being single that could positively impact our marriage. Below are just a few:
Having an excitement about love and marriage. We lose that sometimes after being married. We get comfortable and no longer do some of the things that attracted our spouse. Basically we get lazy and sometimes take our marriage for granted.
Consistently bringing our “A” game. Another area we tend to relax in once we settle down. As a single woman, I made sure I was on point. I had to look my best in case I met someone special. After marriage, some of us don’t put as much of an emphasis on how good we look. Our goal should always include looking good for our mate.
Being spontaneous. I remember how my girls would call me up at the spur of the moment to hang out. I also remember the spontaneous road trips we would take and how much fun we had. The same needs to happen in our marriage. Sometimes we have to put that to-do list to the side, secure a babysitter, and live a little by enjoying some unplanned time with our spouse.
Sharing and communicating. Dating is the get to know you phase. We share, ask questions and show a general interest in the other person. Sometimes married folks think they know all there is to know about their partner and that isn’t always the case. We have to make sure we stay connected, continue to communicate and share our goals and dreams.
There are quite a few benefits that come with approaching your marriage from a single mindset. We must remember our marriage will be a direct result of the amount of energy and effort we give it. It is imperative that we continue to show up, I mean really show up in our relationship.
BMWK, What are your thoughts on thinking like a single person to benefit your marriage.
About the author
Tiya Cunningham-Sumter
Twitter
http://www.lifeediting.com Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and a Career Coach/Trainer. She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Ebony Magazine, Essence.com and on the Michael Baisden Show. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two children. For more of Tiya's fearless life and love wisdom, visit her blog at
www.theboldersister.com
Posted By: Yaiqab Saint
Saturday, May 24th 2014 at 1:23PM
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