The old adage goes “It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” Well, tell that to anyone who has had their heartbroken. While some of us are able to channel the emotional setback in positive ways, many of us take a slightly different approach. So in the spirit of encouraging rising above (and not going to jail) Love Hurts, But Not That Much: 15 Ways Not To Handle A Breakup
Sure being productive at the office is a good thing, but not if it’s getting in the way of the healing process. There is definitely some emotional drainage that goes on after parting ways with a lover and by diving into work and not giving yourself a chance to heal, that will only make the bounce back process even more difficult.
Drowning Your Sorrows
Don’t think for one second that we’re no fun. If there’s one thing that can help mend a broken heart, it’s certainly having a great girls night out. But the last thing you should do is drink yourself into oblivion. A glass of wine will calm anyone’s nerves, but when a casual sip turns into
mainlining tequila at the bar, it is a recipe for disaster and bad decisions. Not the preferred way to get over a former flame.
Lashing Out At Others
This can be difficult to avoid, but don’t take out your pain on others. While it’ll feel wonderful to yell and berate those
around you, trust us when we say it’s a short-term fix for a bigger problem. Those around you didn’t cause your relationship to hit a rough patch and therefore they shouldn’t be on the receiving end of your broken-hearted tirades.
Hooking Up With Randoms
It’s never a good idea to hook up with randoms, but least of all when you’re trying to forget about an ex. No matter how good your man radar is, no matter what level of hotties are at the bar you’ve decided to drop by, there is no way you’re making a clear, reasonable decision about who you’re going home with shortly after a break-up. We’re not saying don’t get back on the horse, but give it some time before you jump right back into those waters. You’ll thank us for it later when you don’t end up with a questionable morning after.
Playing Games With Your Ex
Few things can give a scorned woman more instant gratification than playing games with the ex. But just because it feels good, doesn’t make it a good idea. And waging mental and emotional terrorism against an ex-beau won’t do much in the way of helping you move on to the next great love of your life. Leave the past where
it belongs, in the past, and don’t stoop to a level of pettiness that will only serve to dull your shine.
Too Much Retail Therapy
While we definitely endorse making yourself feel confident and ready to take on the world with a few new articles in your closet, let’s try to keep that in moderation. A break-up doesn’t give you an exemption from paying your credit card off. Know that the short-term happiness of those banging
Manolos won’t counteract the horror of a big, fat bill at the end of the month.
Lonesome Wallowing
This is probably one of the more obvious suggestions on the list, but still one worth mentioning. As devastating as it can be to experience the end of a relationship, it is essential that you avoid wallowing in self-pity for days on end. Sure, crying is good and cathartic and will pretty much happen whether you want it to or not. But there’s a big difference between letting your feelings out in the safe haven of your bedroom and shutting the entire world out. If there’s a time to accept help, it’s certainly when that emotional vulnerability is at its peak.
Making Rash Decisions
We’ve already touched on how essential it is to avoid hooking up with randos, but on a more general scale we also want to emphasize that making any rash decisions is probably not the best idea when trying to get over a break-up. While parting ways with the boo piece might pave the way for some positive life changes, you probably don’t want to up and quit you job, move to a new city or shave your head in the immediate aftermath of the break-up. If it’s a good idea, we promise your motivation will last weeks after you’ve gotten over the heartbreak.
Making Social Media Attacks
Facebook and Twitter were not created so that we can endlessly vent our feelings about former significant others who have done us wrong. Though it’ll certainly feel good to besmirch the not-so-good name of the man who broke your heart, it’ll just end up making you seem bitter in the long run. Not a good look.
Blaming Yourself
Whenever a relationship comes to an end, it’s easy to look back at your words and actions and wonder if there was something that could have been done differently. Was that argument really all my fault? Could I have changed this outcome? And while some self-reflection is a good thing and could ultimately lead you to making some important strides in your personal life, don’t think the blame for the break-up lies solely on your shoulders. It takes two to make a relationship work … and it takes two to end it.
Harboring Anger
Once the hurt passes, anger is sure to follow. But stewing with ill feelings never did anyone any good, so might we suggest trying to channel those into something a little more positive.
Destroying Property
Ripping everything in sight to shreds, destroying his favorite shirt or busting some windows out that car might make all the heartbreak and sorrow feel a lot less oppressive, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Not only could you be dangerously teetering into some illegal territory, but the last thing you want to do is give your ex any more ammunition. You want him to regret letting you go, not rejoicing that he dumped you before the crazy began.
Swearing off Men
One bad apple shouldn’t ruin the whole batch. There are plenty of good men out there so you should …
Give It Another Try
Every relationship, good or not so good, teaches us valuable lessons. And one of the most valuable of all would be how to love better. Employ those new skills with someone more worthy of the time and effort.
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Posted By: Jeni Fa
Thursday, November 13th 2014 at 1:59AM
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