BY: Aesha Roberts - 13 Nov '14 | Single
Black and Married With Kids.com
A Positive Image of Marriage & Family
Now that I’m Team Natural, I get my hair cut at the barbershop. And sistas, you won’t believe the secrets I get to hear when I’m there! (Yes, the guys talk about relationships when you’re not around).
I recently had a chance to talk with one of the guys there about what he’s looking for in a woman. In fact, any time I’m around a professional, high-quality man, I’m always asking him what he thinks about dating, relationships and marriage. This helps me better understand men so I can help the sisters I coach and mentor find love and keep it!
In my barbershop conversation, the bachelor said something that I’ll never forget. HE said:
“I don’t have trouble getting a girlfriend. I just can’t find the right girl to settle down with and start a family. I’m looking for someone I can invest in.”
Did you pick up on that? This is a man who has his house in order. He’s got a great career, he takes care of his business, he’s clear on his values and he knows what he’s looking for!
He is looking for someone to invest in. If we look at that word in the world of finance, an investment is putting time, energy, and money into something valuable, with the hope and expectation of gaining some type of benefit from it in the future.
In other words, when a man is ready to settle down, he’s looking to give his time, energy and love into a woman who will give back to him.
So how do you know when a man is ready to take this step and invest into a relationship? I spoke with three more bachelors who are all actively looking for a wife, and this is what they told me:
1. All the games stop and you start taking her more seriously. You begin thinking about having a family, where you’re going to live together, and what your future will be like together.
2. You start spending more time with her. I know I’m getting serious about a girl when I start planning time with my boys around her.
3. I don’t want to waste her time. That’s when you know.
4. I got tired of the clubs and don’t really go out anymore. I know the kind of person I’d meet there isn’t the kind of girl I want to marry.
5. It stopped being all about me. I now realize I can achieve more with someone in my life.
6. After my breakup with my long time girlfriend, I realized I didn’t have any traditions in my life anymore. I didn’t celebrate holidays on my own and I miss that. I’m looking for something meaningful in my life.
7. I look for balance in a woman’s life. If she’s too focused on one thing, like her career or wanting someone to support her, then I know she’s not for me.
8. I look at her social media page. Does she have too many selfies? Why doesn’t she ever take pictures with other people? Does she have any friends? It’s a sign if she doesn’t!
9. I’m not going to force a relationship, but I am looking for the right woman. My friends all got married out of college and are miserable! I know I’m almost 40, but I’m not going to force a relationship just to say I’m married. I can take care of myself. I can cook and clean, so I don’t need a woman to do that. I’m looking for a partner!
The bottom line is men are actively looking for a good woman who will bring value into their lives. You can attract a high-quality man by knowing—and showing—your worth!
BMWK, what do you think about what the men shared?
About the author
Aesha Roberts wrote 14 articles on this blog.
Dr. Aesha is a matchmaker, dating coach, speaker and author of the book, Can I Help A Sister Out: How To Meet & Marry The Man of Your Dreams. After years of making painful dating mistakes, she met & married her husband in 11 short months and has made it her mission to help women and men find and keep the love of their lives.
Posted By: Yaiqab Saint
Saturday, November 15th 2014 at 12:51PM
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