BY: Jay Hurt - 27 Nov '14 | Home
Black and Married With Kids.com
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How should those of us in committed relationships take steps to “move forward?” Let’s touch on what things we should consider as we decide whether we want to commit to take our relationships to the next level.
1. Are we Better Together?
We often hear it said that men are afraid of commitment. There may be some truth in that, but it’s also essential to note that men should consider as much as possible to make an informed decision. Does your woman compliment you? Does she bring something to the relationship that you are not good at? If you are deficient in one area or another, you want to find someone who is strong in those areas. Many of your mate’s strengths should fill places where you are weak. For example, if you aren’t great at managing finances, it’s good to have someone with the ability to manage the financial matters of the family.
2. Richer or Poorer, Better or Worse, Sickness or Health
It’s easy to have someone’s back if you haven’t had the opportunity to prove it. It’s imperative to have the opportunity in our relationships to have to deal with some challenges together. Committed relationships are going to endure challenges. We have to have open communication and work through those issues. More importantly, we need to have the time to see things that will be external challenges, face them and overcome them together. When you find you can overcome adversity together, it’s strengthens the bond of a relationship and solidifies the trust and loyalty that someone will truly be with you “for better or worse.”
3. Are you Compatible?
I believe compatibility is chemistry in a tangible form. For example, I know a couple where the husband is an executive at work, but when he comes home, his wife is the A-type personality. He has made decision after decision at work, now he wants to come home and not have to run the ship, so to speak. This man hasn’t relinquished his status in the household, but he found compatibility in someone who is comfortable making some of the household decisions.
We throw around the phrase that “we have chemistry with someone,” but what we often mean is that we are compatible with someone. The difference between compatibility and chemistry, is chemistry is untested and not tangible, while compatibility is specific examples of how well we work together. If you are trying to decide if someone is compatible with you, think about how your traits compliment each other. The true test of compatibility is whether we add value to each other that as individuals we cannot accomplish alone.
Moving Forward
Commitment is not something which should be taken lightly. If I know my mate makes me better, my woman has my back and I have evidence of our compatibility, those are strong considerations when we consider moving forward. Men, let’s make wise decisions and move forward with women who show these signs of growing in a successful relationship.
About the author
Jay Hurt wrote 34 articles on this blog.
Jay Hurt is a Relationship Coach, columnist and author of the book, The 9 Tenets of a Successful Relationship (http://9tenetsonline.com/about-the-book ). Jay’s focus is working with people who want to design better relationships and get more out of life!
Posted By: Yaiqab Saint
Friday, November 28th 2014 at 8:38PM
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