BY: Tiya Cunningham-Sumter - 8 Jan '15 | Relationships
Black and Married With Kids.com
A Positive Image of Marriage & Family
Not all dating relationships lead to marriage. Those that do, however, need to apply the right tools early on. We don’t ever want to arrive in a marriage not ready to be successful in love. There’s something like a reality check that happens when you transform your boyfriend/girlfriend status to that of husband and wife. People often say they didn’t expect what usually happens after marriage. The amount of effort required is often underestimated. Yes, things will change; it gets real. Life happens and you have to find a way to navigate through the ups and downs together. We all must remember, marriage is something you have to prepare for.
It is usually obvious when a relationship has the stamina to move from one phase to the next. The feelings are usually a lot deeper and both partners can picture a future together. From this point on, there are a few other ideas to put into practice.
Nothing hurts a marriage more than unrealistic expectations.
Remember, dating should be fun, but it’s also an opportunity to really get to know one another. Use this dating time to ask questions as well as share what really makes you tick. It’s important to understand flaws and all. In regards to flaws, be accepting. Also, know what you can tolerate. Think, what if it never changes, will I be ok.
You should also look for opportunities to learn from other couples. Even though you’re dating, It’s not too early to join or participate in activities hosted by marriage ministries and groups. Read resources that teach marriage related principles.
Communicating about marriage is also important. Uncover what you think you both might be like as spouses and together create a vision for your marriage. Talk future goals, and dreams.
Remember to also save a little something for marriage. The energy, and creativity in the bedroom, to be specific. Make sure once you’re married that excitement and passion never dies.
Being realistic and not thinking marriage is a fairy tale has helped quite a few couples as well. Nothing hurts a marriage more than unrealistic expectations. Some days will be more challenging than others, but how you handle them is key. Put great habits into place, starting now, by being solution focused. Know that you’re thinking for two when you make decisions for your relationship, and plan accordingly.
In addition to enjoying the dating portion of your relationship, the future isn’t that far away and should be considered once you’re with Mr. or Ms. Right.
BMWK, how did you prepare your dating relationship for marriage?
About the author
Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 392 articles on this blog.
Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and a Career Coach/Trainer. She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Ebony Magazine, Essence.com and on the Michael Baisden Show. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two children. For more of Tiya's fearless life and love wisdom, visit her blog at
www.theboldersister.com
Posted By: Yaiqab Saint
Saturday, January 10th 2015 at 10:53AM
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