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One of the things I have learned in married life is how important the decision making process is. When we are single, individually, we are the only person who has to deal with the consequences of our actions and decisions. Once we are married, we have to consider the thoughts, needs and desires of others. We also have to look even deeper to how the decision affects the greater good of the family overall. Let’s look at how we make decisions and how we can work together to make the process better for our families
Dictatorship
Decision making can be done several different ways. One way is through dictatorship. One party (often the husband) makes most if not all of the decisions and the rest of the family has to accept the decision and the outcome. There are many challenges with this methodology, but you may be surprised by how many families are still led in this fashion. Dictatorships have a very narrow thinking of one person’s mindset on what is best, without much input from the rest of the family.
Also, in a dictatorial home environment, the family members often harbor a lot or resentment, because they feel like they aren’t being heard. Often, family members will have low self-esteem and fear of whomever the leader is. Dictatorships have their place, but not in American families. You will want to seek coaching or counseling, and you will often find the person running the house is hurting as well. Everyone’s opinion counts and every voice in a family needs to be heard.
Democracy
Democracy is a great form of government which we live under in America. Democracy is essentially a system where the people rule, most of the time through majority vote. Some households are democratic households when it comes to decision making as the majority rules. It’s a good system because everyone has a voice.
There has to be someone who makes a final decision for the greater good while taking into account the voice of everyone in the home. If you live in a household where everyone has a voice and a vote, that’s great, but we don’t want to make decisions that aren’t considerate of all and don’t take into account the greater good of the family.
What’s Best for Your Family?
Decision making shouldn’t be an autonomous thing with no input from others. Making decisions also can’t simply be majority wins or we can manipulate the majority for our own selfish needs. We want to work together to compromise on some things while we may feel we need to pursue others.
I wrote this article to share that decisions need everyone’s input and careful thought to make a decision (sometimes tough, no-fun decisions) that are best for the family. Every family needs a servant leader capable of leading yet cooperating in the decision making process. When we consider everyone’s feelings, that’s how we grow together as a family.
BMWK, does everyone in your family have a say in how decisions are made?
About the author
Jay Hurt wrote 43 articles on this blog.
Jay Hurt is a Relationship Coach, columnist and author of the book, The 9 Tenets of a Successful Relationship (http://9tenetsonline.com/about-the-book ). Jay’s focus is working with people who want to design better relationships and get more out of life!
Posted By: Yaiqab Saint
Saturday, April 25th 2015 at 11:07AM
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