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How do you love yourself? (325 hits)

I have been told by several people here that I need to learn to love myself again. My problem is I absolutely have no idea how too? I mean I am a single father of two, a 12 and 13 year old and I have custody of them. I have for years first built my life around my family and when that went to pieces I went back out on the dating scene and caught feelings for people that seriously didn't deserve my love, my effort. I went from caring about my ex-wife and my kids to caring about other woman and thier kids, now being single and getting closer again with my kids because I no longer have a woman coming over every night I have time to read, surf the internet, meditate, pray and speak with friends and family that I really haven't spoken with since I was in my last relationship.
Now comes the question, how does one learn to love themselves when they have spend decades loving and trying to accomodate everyone else?

Any thoughts?

You know I had years ago been called selfish, arrogant. But that was when I wasn't understanding, it was my way or the highway and you know I can honestly say when I was like that my life was great! I have plenty of things and no stress regarding failed relationships or anything else. I know now there has to be open dialog between the two and there should never be any problems discussing what your standards are. But again I guess I am so used to being a attached I don't know how to be "un"attached.

Posted By: Russell Penman
Thursday, August 7th 2008 at 10:21AM
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Russell bro... realize first the things most important in your life... your children and your well-being... find what makes them happy and spend time in the city parks, going out quality time, and you'll find yourself... whatever you do, don't stay locked up and confined by the 4 walls of your home... find ways to be active, join a gym you'll find yourself...
Thursday, August 7th 2008 at 2:08PM
Antre Drummer

You begin to love yourself one day at a time. If you look at the big picture it may seem hard to do, just take baby steps. You're already on the right path Russell.

Etana.
Thursday, August 7th 2008 at 10:10PM
Etana Busara

First off... Focus! Focus on those baboes that act just like their daddy, if they see him tripping, they are going to do what they see. If they see him praying you guessed it they are going to pray. My Brother has Ms Busara mentioned take it one day at a time, and the ladies you begin interacting with will be there to help you raise those kids vice you helping them raise theirs. Trust I speak from experience stay focused....
Thursday, August 7th 2008 at 10:18PM
GREGORY GULLEY

Wow! what a question! First let me say to hear a man ask this question is wonderful! Next I am a single mom myself that after 2 long term relationships has had to take time and learn that very same lesson. I always put my children and mates first. I came somewhere at the bottom of the list, if at all. I have learned really in the past two yrs that if I don't make myself a priority noone will. If I pass out from not taking care of myself how can I manage my children or my household. I believe when we learn to be truly comfortable with our own company then we can find the person that is right for us. Start small. When you shop stop putting your stuff back and realize your kids probably have more than they need. Get a meal just for you or a snack and eat it all yourself. Know that it is ok to be good to yourself and realize that it will take time. Im still learning myself but I am so much better than before. I am no longer everyone's doormat.
Thursday, August 7th 2008 at 11:34PM
ReJeana Turner