Good Morning Steve and the Morning show family, I actually do not know
where to start with my letter. I guess I will start with saying I have
been in tears everyday for the last 4 months. I guess I will also start
by giving you a little history.
First of all, my husband and I have been married for almost 2 years. We met in college when I was a freshman and he was a junior. When we met, we realized we had a lot in common. We both grew up in the same city just on different sides of town. So we didn't know each other. We were raised by strong single black women that made sure we had the best, we were raised in the church, and we both wanted to get legal degrees. We got married shortly after I graduated college and we relocated to Chicago in hopes of attending law school. When we got to Chicago , I became a nurse instead and my husband got a position at a legal firm (long story short, we didn't make it to law
school). We both are devout Christians and we have been for most of our life. We decided that in order to really move foward in our spiritual life, that we needed to forgive all the people we had problems with including our fathers. We didn't realize how much that unforgiveness impacted our own lives. I made it a point to forgive my father in my heart because I knew it would be difficult to find him.
My husband, however, got in touch with his father and made arrangements to meet up with him when we went home for our family reunion. They decided to meet up at the park where the reunion was to be held because they felt that was a neutral spot. We went home for the family reunion in May.. To my surprise, my father was there. Even though I hadn't seen him in almost 16 yrs, I knew it was him. I remembered the goal me and my husband had set for ourselves so I agreed to go somewhere and talk with him as long as we remained in the park. After about 45 minutes of catching up, I finally asked him what he was doing at the park on that day of all days. He mentioned that he was there to meet someone special in his life. I figured it was probably just another women.
Just then, my husband walked up and said, I see you met my father. At that point, I did pass out (literally). I woke up in the hospital a couple of hours later. After a week, my husband went back to Chicago . I remained in our hometown with my mother. I was not ready to face all the issues on my plate and I couldn't just go back to Chicago with my husband/brother. After 3 mons, I am absolutely confused about what to do. Even though we have only been married for 2 years, we have been together for almost 5. I can't imagine my life without him. However, I get sick to my stomach when I think about the fact that I have been sleeping with my brother for so long. I know deep down it isn't really our fault. I mean we did everything right.
I know the obvious thing to do is divorce him. But that is easier said than done. I am not torn between divorce and my religious beliefs because we got married under false pretenses. My problem is, I am torn between doing the obvious thing and dealing with all these emotions at
the same time. Please tell me what to do. I don't think I have anymore tears left to cry.
WOW to say the least. Some people will say that this is why you must do research on a person before you get involved with them, I think research has less to do with this, it has more to do with honesty and truthfulness from the men that have unprotected s*x, make babies and act as if these children that some of them refuse to take responsibility for do not grow up. Accountability for ones actions is needed. What happens when children are made because of the so called jump off, friends with benefits, infidelity situations and these men know that a baby was a product of the situation but because they did not get caught, refuse to acknowledge the child.
It is situations like this that happens or the women that get pregnant as a result of some of these situations and refuse to tell the man because they were sleeping around and are not sure who the father is, they would rather hide the fact they just don't know so they don't have to face their choices and leave the door open for something like to to happen.
Honesty, truthfulness and accountability for ones actions can prevent this level of devastation.
Posted By: Marquerite Burgess
Tuesday, September 2nd 2008 at 4:49PM
You can also
click
here to view all posts by this author...
