It's gut check time again. Same rules: If you are not ready to explore your inner feelings and beliefs...leave now...don't read another word!
AS ALWAYS YOU'VE BEEN WARNED
------ Part XIV- Magic Stick
Yesterday, I posted a blog about what men need in a relationship. Amazingly, there was a good deal of comment requesting the flip side to the coin. So here it is…
Stop telling our young men that they’ve got a magic stick! Length, girth, and staying power are not the signs of manhood. Having multiple s*xual conquests doesn’t make you “The Man”…it makes you the fool. A thin layer of plastic (or no plastic at all) is all that stand between you and her last man!
But we don’t tell the young boys that part of the story. We tell them…”Your momma couldn’t resist my game (charm)”. “I put it down”. Or we have dumb little saying to teach them to protect themselves like…”all coochie ain’t good coochie”. “Keep an ace in the whole”.
Please Stop! Young men are spreading diseases and dying because we are too afraid to get real. Manhood has nothing to do with s*xual knack.
First and foremost, protect yourself. Next, if you want her to scream…mentally stimulate her.
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A few years back, I met this sister at a picnic. From the moment I saw her, I started to put the plan in motion. I did the usual exchange of info, flashy smile and suggestive glares… to let her know that I was very interested. Well, sure enough it worked. We started seeing each other from time-to-time and somewhat considered ourselves dating.
On this one particular night I decided the time was right. I made reservations at a Greek restaurant and surprised her by taking her shopping for the perfect little black dress. I intentionally parked just far enough away so we could walk hand-in-hand along the cobblestone road to and from the restaurant in the moonlight.
I helped her order things that she had never tried before. And she shared with me as I sampled and tried new Greek dishes. When we got back to the house, I had roses leading to the bathroom. I hurried in to run a bubble bath in the very larger French his and hers tub. Fruit, chocolate, candles, champagne, and soft music followed by a full body hot oil massage…man I had it all laid out. And it worked like a charm.
We did all the stuff I had imagined we would do. And I laid it down in the sheets.
The next morning, when I woke up she was laying in the bed staring at me. Trying to play it cool I asked…”Are you okay”. And she replied…”Will you marry me?” I laughed and made a joke or two that I had the magic stick. But in my mind I really did think it was the swing low that made her want to marry me.
Sure, I had made her scream…but not like I thought. It was the mental stimulation that sent her wild. It was the thought that we could be intimate and open. The conversation we shared in the bubble bath was far more stimulating than the s*x (for her or me).
As men when we are with the fellas we talk about the power of the swing low. We are boastful about our conquest and/or the strength of our game. But we’ve got the game twisted.
Just as men have s*x with our eyes, science tell us that women fall in love (and have s*x) with their ears. The openness and sharing that you do in the moments leading up to the bed…make her scream mentally. The intimate conversations you have on the phone try to ensure you get some…make her scream mentally. The times when you put her needs above all else…. make her scream mentally.
Don’t believe me? Most women don’t climax from intercourse:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21597671/. Less than 20% are screaming because you’ve put in work in the bed. You make them scream because you meet her mental wants and desires.
No, I’m not saying that women don’t want or need s*x: THEY DO! And yes, there are moments when the loving is off the charts for both s*xes. But to think that your swing low is a magical stick that makes women do what you want and desire…simply isn’t true.
Want more proof? Now I’m not a female…so I can’t pretend to know what women want, but here are some things that you can try at home:
1. The next time your lady has female company, walk into the room of ladies as if your lady is the only person in the room. Don’t make eye contact with anyone else in the room; don’t look around, just make a straight line to the love of your life. As you approach, ask her if she needs anything. If she says no, tell her that if she does just ask you will be happy to get it. Now leave the same way you entered the room. *** If she says yes…hop to it and return as if she has made your day by asking for your help.
2. When you and your lady are alone, sit on the floor next to her: beside the bed or couch works best. Slowly take her shoes off and gently massage her feet. When she asks why you are (or want to) massaging her feet…tell her…”because you had a long day and I thought you needed it”.
3. If you have the occasion, uninvite yourself to meeting with the fellas…in front of your lady. And tell the fellas that you want to get to know her better…that’s why you can’t make it.
4. Invite your lady to sit on the kitchen floor with you and tell her what you wanted to be when you were a little boy. Yup, it sounds goofy, but it’s what she wants to hear and know about you. She wants you to make her scream from your open intimacy.
Mental stimulation keeps a woman happy…not the swing low! Let’s stop the madness and get real with ourselves and the next generation of us.
Posted By: Dr. Ahmad Glover
Friday, September 5th 2008 at 2:55PM
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