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Are Men and Women Equal? (2631 hits)

There has been a lot of talk lately about women and equality to men, s*xism and unfair treatment of women with this election. And with the selection of Sarah Pallin as vice presidential candidate for the Republican Party, I think somebody has to say it: Men and women are different.
Sure, every woman I know (including me) wants equal opportunities and equal pay for the same job, equal voting rights, equal treatment when purchasing items like a car. But if you're a woman with five children, I think you've made your choice. You don't get to play the same way men do. Mothers and fathers are different.
Just as I don't expect a woman to compete with a man in the gym lifting weights or on the track field running a sprint, I don't think a woman who has chosen to be a mother of several children gets to have the same chance to be head of state or head of a company, for that matter. At least not equally.
Our priorities are twisted in this society, which is probably why our kids are so screwed up. Nobody makes sacrifices. Everyone wants it all. Well, reality check: Sometimes (most times) you can't have it ALL. You have to make choices and sacrifices.
Unlike some people who will say this woman's daughter and her kids are off limits, I say her children are a reflection of her parenting. Besides, she put them "on limits" when she decided to be John McCain's running mate. Now I'm not saying that just because your 17-year-old daughter gets pregnant that you're a bad parent, but I am going to say that a woman who is all about family values and Christianity and ethics sure looks like either a hypocrite or a parent who is totally out of touch with what's going on with her kids.
What do you think?

Posted By: Karen Hunter
Friday, September 5th 2008 at 9:35PM
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Kudos to you for being a real mom. I don't have children because I am selfish. I don't want to stop doing what I'm doing and I know that I would HAVE to if I had kids. That's my sacrifice because I love children. But you have to know that you can't do everything and juggling is for jugglers, not mothers. Being a mom is the most important job a woman can have and too many women treat it like having a pet. You have produced a being that will hopefully make a positive impact on society. What you put into them is what you get out.

Thanks, Avis, for keeping it real. I was expecting some backlash for this.
Friday, September 5th 2008 at 9:58PM
Karen Hunter

I totally agree with your observations. Gov.Palin was selected to serve as viceral mouthpiece for McCain. Her revelations pertaining to her background were no surprise...only distractions to again create smoke and mirrors in a attempt to keep the American, especially African American publics attention on irrelevant matters...the vetting process amazingly moved her to to top of the list...I WONDER WHY?
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 6:34AM
Anthony Bridgeforth

Karen

I agree as well. Any person (man or woman) who says that they value family...should have actions that support the lip service. If we don't begin to align our words and deeds soon...the children of this nation are going to be a hot mess.
Our elected officials are poor examples of adult, responsible behavior.

Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 10:34AM
Dr. Ahmad Glover

Pallin is a hypocrite. It doen't make since to be an extreme conservative, to be against women't rights, and want to be in the White House. The Republicans are a joke this election year with their nominees.
Yeah, its obvious that something isn't right in her household. Its obvious where her priorities are. So, I do agree with you Ms. Karen.

Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 10:51AM
chivonne lawson

I think that Gov.Palin has been put in a position that she really shouldn't be in right now and her focus should be more on her family. I don't think that her parenting skills are as much in question as her priorities are.
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 12:04PM
Emmanuel Brown

From a positive perspective, maybe Palin is what we needed so that we can really debate the issues and differences between the candidates. I am an Obama supporter, but you have to love how the GOP is trying to spin the selection of their VP choice. As far as her choosing a career and trying to have a family. I think it is dictated by ones circumstances. Most women have to work and care for their children. Many do it without a husband or significant other. It is alot easier in a marriage where there is give and take and shared responsibilities. I also agree that women in general cannot do what men do. It is physically impossible because we are different. The reason we are having this kind of dialogue is because our economy and society put pressure on us to have it all. Having it all makes it very difficult for many of to be able to truly afford the American Dream that is slowly getting away. Many who are leaning toward the GOP are Whites who are feeling that pressure and want to blame others for their place in our society. They feel that they should have their privilege of preference in every aspect of our society. I will continue this later.
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 4:27PM
Frederick Fitch

This woman has alot of convenient paradoxes and it kills me how the republicans continue to say anything out of their mouths as if people will just accept what they say. It's like playing with people's intelligence. Granted, there ARE alot of people who have been so naive as to believe this woman can have it all, the demand of the 2nd highest office in the land as well as the demand of raising and nurturing a family. She is not Superwoman or Wonder Woman. Karen u have hit it right on the head. This woman has put herself right in the line of fire, right on the bull's eye but at the same time doesn't want people 2 judge her, look into her past, look into her family,scrutinize her judgement or candor or take the time 2 find out the facts about who she REALLY IS!! It was okay when Obama was under the microscope for stupid things like not wearing a lapel pin, his pastor, his name, his past associates and so on. Now it's not okay for anyone to do the same to Palin because she's a woman!! Baloney! All bets are off and the playing field should be open and equal! That is if she is going to stand up there and proclaim equality for women. It should be fair game for her to be scrutinized and looked at, talked about on as equal terms as her male counterparts!!

This woman sat up there and told blatant lies in her speech! She's started off on the wrong foot and then is commanding respect and equality all in the same breath! It's a sad commentary that McCain is using this woman 2 appeal 2 the "disenfranchised" Hillary supporters and the undecided voters and even she can't see that she's being exploited!! Or better yet maybe she is willing 2 be exploited 4 the sake of looking as if she's "equal" I truly don't see what was so "remarkable" about her speech!! All she did was come out and bash bash bash like the others who spoke before her.

McCain comes out with this "let's all get along" attitude on the final night as if nothing was said before him. It's amazing that people are eating this garbage! McCain was in control of what was 2 be said during the convention and people better look deeper and beyond the surface and see what he and the Republicans are all about. You know these are the same people who ate up Bush's lies and fear tactics about Iraq and terrorists and put him back in office for a second term. The same ones who are whining about how he's destroyed the economy, national security jobs and everything else he touched. It amazes me how these same people are taking this same rhetoric like they are sopping up clam chowder with a butter roll!!

I do have some solace in the fact that most of America can & will see through this gargabe. If Obama/Biden continue to reinforce the changes they want to make and continue to show people the differences in black and white then they will prevail.

I don't believe a woman can have it all in the sense that Palin is trying to portray. The demands of family life and being the vice president are too demanding for either one to receive equal time, care and commitment. One or the other will suffer ultimately. This is a totally different level than your average middle class "carreer woman" who also has a family. I would say the same if she were a CEO or a corporation. U just can't put 100% into both at the same time.
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 6:26PM
Roland Jenkins

Just to add, when I said Obama/Biden need tho continue to show people the differences in black and white...I meant on paper, not differences in race. They need to show people the blueprint of their plan vs the McCain plan on paper along with discussion because alot of times people will not accept something unless they see it in front of them.
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 6:32PM
Roland Jenkins

I can tell that you don't have children, lol.
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 8:00PM
Dr. S. Maxwell Hines

I said that in my piece. Is that your only comment?
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 9:26PM
Karen Hunter

No, I have a lot more I could say but I don't want to hijack your post. I just hope I am around when you are responsible for rearing children. It is not as easy as your mother made it look, lol.
Basically, I believe that women are being used by both Democrats and Republicans and that both parties and that both Hillary and Sarah's participation will not change the condition of women in this country a bit. If anyone brings up an equity issue in either party, the party leaders will say, "See, we're not s*xist [racist]; we seriously considered a [insert your choice of underrepresented minority here] candidate," and its back to business as usual… but that is another post.
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 9:44PM
Dr. S. Maxwell Hines

I know my mother had it easy :-)....and I think mothering is VERY important, which is why I don't think Palin (and many other women) can juggle being VP (or CEO) and being a good mother.
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 9:49PM
Karen Hunter

I think 'parenting' is very important, not just mothering, but we all know people who have become successful in their lives in the absence of it. Conversely, we have all known people who had wonderful parents but could not become successful in their lives. There is no way of knowing which child you are raising; the one who would be successful alone in a dark room or the one that will need shoring up deep into adulthood. There is no magic formula, stay at home mom or working mom, notwithstanding.
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 10:02PM
Dr. S. Maxwell Hines

The cream comes to the top, everytime. Just hold on another couple of weeks when
the debates begin. I believe the skit will hit the fan, and both the nominated President and VP will wish they could both go home and tend to their respective
families. Lets face it, they along with their partners in grime have a credit score
in the lower 400's at best, when it comes to managing our Countrys afairs these
last four years. Bottom line, the Big White house is up for sale, and with Palin and
MCCain applying for ownership, regardless of their s*x and or family issues. Sorry
Sarah, please feel free to reapply in 4 years.

Rocky
Beautiful Downtown St. louis Mo.
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 10:05PM
Rockyj Owens

while there is no magic formula, I do know that what you put into something, you will get out. that's a law of nature. So when kids "act up" or aren't successful, I can guarantee no matter what it looks like, there is something going wrong in the household.

Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 10:16PM
Karen Hunter

I don't think children come here as a blank slate. They come with their own proclivities. I say that as a mother of twins. Each has the same parents, the same household but they are very different. Parents can only influence what is there in a child. If a parent raises a success child and an unsuccessful child, what does this say for the household? I just don't think this is as cut and dry as it seems like you are making it.
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 10:28PM
Dr. S. Maxwell Hines

Would you say a parent who is there in the household and is supportive of a child makes a difference. If that's the case, then no one needs to lift a finger making an attempt to parent because every child is preordained to be or do whatever they become or do.
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 10:40PM
Karen Hunter

I would say yes, a parent who is there in the household and is supportive of a child absolutely makes a difference. My point was that one child in that household may require an hour of support and another child my require 20 hours of support. That's what I mean about what the children came here with.
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 10:50PM
Dr. S. Maxwell Hines

I think there are two separate questions we must answer when analyzing the Palin situation. The first is, “Is it responsible for a mother of five children to hold a ‘big job’?” The second is, “Is it responsible for this mother of five children (Palin) to pursue this job (VP of the U.S.)?”

I think the answer to the first is obvious. We should not expect any mother to “tamp down” her professional ambition because she is a mother. This is a question we do not ask of men. John McCain has seven children, but his fitness to lead in light of this fact has not been a campaign issue. Perhaps a more relevant comparison would be Robert F. Kennedy, who had 11 (yes, 11) children and was approximately the same age as Palin when his Presidential run was cut short by an assassin’s bullet in 1968. Again, he was not questioned about his fitness to lead based on the size of his family.

The point is this. Any women’s ability to be a parent and a high-powered executive can only be “judged,” if we should do so at all, on a case by case basis. To say that a mother is by definition shirking her motherly duties by having a “big job” and not arguing the same for a father is tantamount to saying that the role of a mother is somehow more important the father’s in the life of the child. We in the Black community do not need to be told how important fathers are and what disaster ensues when fathers are not active in their children’s lives.

The more relevant question is should Governor Palin have agreed to pursue this job at this time. As a parent of two small children, I find myself troubled by her decision. It was easy for Palin to anticipate that the news of her daughter’s pregnancy would create a media onslaught, especially given the Governor’s outspoken socially conservative views. Most parents would not want to expose a children whose life is about to be turned upside by a newborn to such public scrutiny. Conversely, the McCain campaign has using Bristol Palin’s pregnancy as a political talking point, which I find borderline obscene. At the very least, Palin has put the emotional well-being of this child second to her own ambition.

A closer look at the story of the birth of Palin’s fifth child is even scarier. In fact, Gov. Palin made some abysmal choices regarding his well-being. Again, one of her political talking points has been her love of all lives, born and unborn, as evidenced by her decision to give birth to her now four month old son Trig even with the in-vitro knowledge that the baby had Down Syndrome. Yet, with this doubly high-risk pregnancy (being 44 years old makes every pregnancy high risk), she chose to travel late in her pregnancy all the way from Alaska to Dallas to make a political speech. As it has been reported, Palin’s water broke while in Dallas, but rather than rushing to a hospital in Dallas to have the baby, she elected to return to Alaska WHILE in labor. There is no question that she put this child’s life at risk with these two poor decisions. If she is willing to roll the dice with her own flesh and blood, do we have a prayer of her helping to develop a compassionate solution to crises in health care, Social Security, etc? I don’t like those odds.

The real issue is the choices this mother has made regarding this job. If Governor Palin values her professional success more than her children, how can we expect her to “put the country first” as the McCain campaign claims to do? It is unreasonable to assume that we would fare any better under her leadership than her children have. When she was faced with the choice between ambition and motherhood, she chose ambition. It’s not a women thing, though. It’s a Sarah Palin thing.

Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 10:55PM
Brian McClellan

Again, Brian. Are men and women the same? Should we have the same expectations of a man that we have for a woman. Now I'm a woman who is successful, educated and works hard for the things I have. But i believe we have a double standard because of the reality: Men and women are different. A man with seven children is not view the same as a woman with seven children. it's just the way it is. Is it right? I don't know. But I know that's how it is.
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 11:02PM
Karen Hunter

On that, we easily agree, Karen.
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 11:10PM
Dr. S. Maxwell Hines

I love it when we agree :-)
Saturday, September 6th 2008 at 11:29PM
Karen Hunter

Well said, Clark...right on!
Sunday, September 7th 2008 at 10:14AM
Karen Hunter

Of course we are not equal not in the emotional or physical sense. I don't want to prove I can be like a man but I don't want to me told that I can't achieve something because I am female. Child rearing is a thankless and never ending job that I never wanted. But I do admire the women I know who have taken it on. Sometimes you just can't have it all. Men don't have to balance home and work. I just want what I can handle without being overwhelmed. But the question remains, some people feel a woman with five children can run a household but not a country. a city or a state. Well we may find out if Palin can do this as well.
Sunday, September 7th 2008 at 1:01PM
Vanessa Phillips

A mother of 5 can indeed roll with the big boys--IF you have a chef, a private jet (whether or not you sell it on e-bay) an expense account for you and your kids to travel, and a per diem for you to stay home when you're unable to make it to the office. But it's no excuse not to know what's going on with your own child, especially, as a conservative.
Tuesday, September 9th 2008 at 8:12PM
zondra hughes

Nah, Z...even then there is a problem. You can't run a country and run your household like that AND she has a special needs kid. come on! You have to take care of your home first. I'm sure Palin's daughter is pregnant now because she was running around being mayor and governor and trying to fix her state and ignoring her household.
Tuesday, September 9th 2008 at 8:27PM
Karen Hunter

Karen,

I agree. If one of Palin’s publicly stated top priorities is family values, she should make sure her deeds match the lip service. But like many of our elected officials today...I'm sure her platform is built on saying whatever it takes to get or stay in power.
Heck, I wouldn't be surprised to see her as a liberal Democrat one day….if that’s what it takes to get elected. We the people’ constantly send/elect self-centered male and female ego maniacs to positions of power. And they get more and more egotistic every single day.

Tuesday, September 9th 2008 at 8:42PM
Dr. Ahmad Glover

Amen, Ahmad. Amen!
Tuesday, September 9th 2008 at 8:48PM
Karen Hunter

Brian, you pretty much said it all. I agree with you 100%. ...ALL OF IT.

Blessings...
Wednesday, September 10th 2008 at 9:27PM
Dee Gray

That was chilling, Avis and so, so very true! Love of family and those close to you are all that matters. And your children are the only mark you're really leaving on this earth.
Thursday, September 11th 2008 at 7:59PM
Karen Hunter

Let me apologize for not reading all the comments first so forgive me for restating ideas or sentiments. I agree with you Karen on this 100%. As a woman with no children and no husband I have to say that whatever path you take in life is a choice. That choice will provide you with certain opportunities and options. Working mothers vs. Stay at home mothers have always faced this dilemma and no matter how hard we cry "equality", it will not go away. Raising children and caring for a family is a very real priority and should be treated as such. Hell, I can't even go to school full time and workfull time..to me thats two totally different priorities each deserving of its own time and attention. Does that mean another cannot do that? No. But if that person is running for an office I have to right to question her juggling abilites as if I were questioning my own. As far as her daughter/children being off-limits - I think its quite hypocritical of those who cry s*xism. That is what the media does. They investigate. They didn't cry s*xism when they looked into the dissertations of Michelle Obama and she's not even on a ticket! This is what our society expects. Of course they don't ask those questions of a man. Traditionally it is not the man who's responsible for his children, it has been the mother. In addition, I think working moms and women alike have the right to question that because that is how she's running. That is her platform. A working soccer mom. Well working soccer mom's want to know what's really going on. I plan to use my time wisely as a single unmarried woman. That affords me the opportunity to take luxuries I could not as a married woman with children. It is a choice and all choices deserve exploration.
Monday, September 15th 2008 at 1:48PM
Tekoah Bellazer

Hillary was qualified and Sarah is no Hillary.
There was internal conflict when Hillary was running, because, many Sisters were called to ask themselves: Are you a feminist first or a black person first? But there is no conflict now. It is imperative, during these times. that all of America get over our racist past and tendencies and vote for the right person who can turn this country around.

Monday, September 22nd 2008 at 6:18PM
zondra hughes

Okay, that was FOUR things...not just one! ;-)
Friday, October 3rd 2008 at 11:14PM
Dee Gray