I had a good discussion with someone I met yesterday about youth and life's epiphanies that seem to come around the age of 40.
We began talking about the issues with youth today and the conversation blossomed to me asking her about her "Ah-ha" moment about the significance of reaching back to the community. She was not having hers yet ("I don't have time.") so I began to explain mine.
Somewhere around 2002, I had an 'Ah-ha' moment about reaching back. What happened was that I began substituting in schools for extra money. I was shocked by what I saw going on in the classrooms. I was new to the teaching career and I was doing it just one or two days a week.
The more I went into the classrooms, the more I found myself wanting to do more. At this particular school, the students had extremely bad behavior problems. They turned the televisions on in the classroom to watch videos and they tried to run every substitute out of the classroom with insults you would not believe. I was frequently referred to as "B***@!"
Nobody ever did the lesson/assignment left by the teacher. Cell phones were ringing and buzzing left and right. Pen and paper were unheard of. The kids did not think twice about challenging you physically ("She don't know me. I'll kick her l'il azz.) I was already looking for another supplemental employment by the fourth week.
Then I babysat for my neice one weekend. I had not done that in a long, long time and I do not have any grandchildren. In short, I had to discipline her children at one time or another and they shrugged it off. By the time my neice returned, I had a list of things I had to deal with in the behavior department. Her response was a very, very passive, "Y'all know better. The next time y'all gonna get it." Then she proceeded to give them gifts she had purchased for them. The smoke blew out of my ears and nostrils as the words "Ah-Haaaa" richocheted all around my head.
Of course, they were not impressed with my attempts at disciplining them because they knew they were going to get away with it at home. While I kept saying, "Wait until I tell your mother...," they knew mommy was not going to do anything."
These children had foul mouths and no manners, but they had designer everything on down to their underwear. The newborn baby even had Timberland shoes/booties! I was floored and maybe just too old.
Anyway, I realized right then and there that these little children would likely grow up to be the demons in the schools. They were not God-fearing children or even mommy-fearing children. They clearly ran the show. So I figured this is what goes on in the lives of these young children by young parents that make these young children to be disrespectful in the classrooms so that teachers and substitute teachers cannot do their jobs.
Just as bad, I began paying attention to teachers complaining about how parents cursed them out when they called their homes to talk about their bad azz children and then the students retaliated the very next day. It just snowballed into an even greater eye-opening experience.
What did I do? Well, I surely let my neice know (in front of the children) that now that I understood she was not a disciplining parent, her children were no longer welcome in my home. I told her to keep the few dollars she was offering me and purchase books for the children to have quality time rather than ripping and running inside the house like hoodlums. I strongly encouraged her to spend some time "raising" her children which would include teaching them how to behave inside a house, talking to adults, manners, respect, and get them involved in church.
I took that same stance into the classrooms with me and eventually achieved strong class management skills. In time, the students knew they were expected to behave properly in the classroom and complete all assignments. I had the same types of "Can we keep it real?" conversations with parents I came in contact with. Once they understood the deal with 'No Child Left Behind' and the choices their bad azz children would have between prison, teen pregnancy, limited employment opportunities, etc. they began helping to correct the negative behaviors of the child.
I readily tell parents how the community will never stand tall when you have students failing and not concerned about it. I ask them what they want for their child and I follow it up with asking, "How can I help you and your child?" That puts them in the position of mapping out a plan and I agree to follow it as along as I am respected and the student makes an attempt. By the second year of substituting, I was being asked to teach part-time. I love it!
Have you had any "Ah-Ha" epiphanies about life you want to share? What worked and how did it worked?
Today, I wish we all take a deep breath and say, "Ah-Haaa" and get cranking to uplift our community.
Agnes ~ Too Wise Not To Praise Him!
Author of "Cooling Well Water: A Collection of Work By An African-American Bipolar Woman" ISBN 0975461206 Winter Release Pending -
www.myspace.com/coolingwellwater
Posted By: agnes levine
Friday, September 12th 2008 at 10:15AM
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