HELP!!! THIS IS LONG BUT I NEED INSIGHT!
I work in the non-profit world and at times it is worst than the political world. Came in contact with a fellow who did 10 years Fed(drug charge, currently unemployed and works with neighborhood kids), also came across an old white lady that lives smack in the middle of the 'hood, has money, has clout and endless contacts-but she is an activist for that community-that BLACK COMMUNITY(has made the City fix roads, drainage problems,infrastructure and helped reduce crime) !!! Well, the old lady is very brash and sometimes rude-she acts like a Big Mama! Well the fellow wants to start a program for kids, the old lady has acquired property in the area to build a Community Center, I thought great we can all work together! Well, she was instrumental in sending the fellow to Federal Prison, so, when I introduced them she called him out, he was clearly upset. After the meeting, she let me know that she was proud of him and she'll do anything possible to help him out and work with him. We all met at my office for a second meeting. Well what I didn't know was the fellow was still upset about her calling him out (but it was only us 3 around when she said it and I must admit it was tastless) also that the fellow hasn't done any paperwork to get Incorporated, nor has he done his 1023. The old lady addressed this latter situation, letting him know that she would not stick her neck out for him if he's not at least Incorporated. Then she offered him help in getting Incorporated. He blew his top!!! Accused the lady of trying to tell him what to do and how to do it! I was floored at his reaction! So, I tried to be a peacemaker and see if I could put her words in NI99A terms, 'hood words, ebonix! He turned on me and called both of us hipocrits(?)! Told us that he wasn't concerned with all that 'paperwork shyt' that he just doing stuff for the kids, trying to get known! That we would not tell him how to run 'his' program and then continued to spit out all sorts of I's, Me's and My's! Told us about his Degrees and college education and he knows everything he's supposed to know about the law! So, I got 'hood with him and let him know that if he knew so much his paperwork would be done, his Board would be picked, his 501(c)3 status would be in! He interjected that a City Councilman offered to do it for him-I pointed out that if a City Councilman was doing all this for him, that 'his' precious program would be run by that City Councilman! This negro looked me in my eyes and told me:"Felicia, I'm not gone argue with you! If I wanted to argue with a woman I'll go home with my wife!" OMG!!! I nearly lost it, but the old lady grabbed my arm and she nicely dismissed him!
Now, my problem is this:
1) How can you mentor kids on respecting others, the law and following the rules if you aren't?
2) Why would you put yourself in harms way legally? Just do the damn paperwork!
3) The way he presents himself in regards to women(not the 1st time he's been gender biased), he's not ready to mentor girls and especially todays young men!
4) How can he mentor kids about looking beyond the 'hood, if he has no viable accomplishments and no job! He just looks for ways that he can be on T.V. and in the paper-meanwhile his wife that he can go home and argue with pays all the bills and takes care of the family!
5) How can you mentor kids on your mistakes if you are afraid and get offended when someone brings up your past!
and last but not least
6) He lost the focus of the whole discussion and put all of the focus on he, himself and him! When will Black Americans stop attaching the rewards of good deeds to fame and fortune!
There is a lot more, but that's the meat and potatoes of it! But, I felt disrespected, embarassed as a race, mortified by his behavior and frankly hurt beacuse I really wanted to help and work with him! Somebody please help me put this situation into prospective!
Now, my problem is this:
1) How can you mentor kids on respecting others, the law and following the rules if you aren't?
2) Why would you put yourself in harms way legally? Just do the damn paperwork!
3) The way he presents himself in regards to women(not the 1st time he's been gender biased), he's not ready to mentor girls and especially todays young men!
4) How can he mentor kids about looking beyond the 'hood, if he has no viable accomplishments and no job! He just looks for ways that he can be on T.V. and in the paper-meanwhile his wife that he can go home and argue with pays all the bills and takes care of the family!
5) How can you mentor kids on your mistakes if you are afraid and get offended when someone brings up your past!
and last but not least
6) He lost the focus of the whole discussion and put all of the focus on he, himself and him! When will Black Americans stop attaching the rewards of good deeds to fame and fortune!
There is a lot more, but that's the meat and potatoes of it! But, I felt disrespected, embarassed as a race, mortified by his behavior and frankly hurt beacuse I really wanted to help and work with him! Somebody please help me put this situation into prospective!
There really is no perspective for this situation. MOST PEOPLE would feel that he is not ready to handle this type of endeavor because of his lack of preparation, lack of communication skills, and big "I" little "u" attitude.
There will always be obstacles in life, but it's the way that you face these obstacles that really matter. If you are disgruntled because someone questioned you, how will you react if one of the children do it?