Secretive Lovers 2009!
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Mona Austin
Friday, March 13th 2009 at 9:38AM
Yes. Spill all the beans if it's a serious relationship. (Dating is different.) Particularly, if there are physical, mental or spiritual issues that could be problematic down the line you will find out in a serious relationship, but I'd rather not be surprised. Couples must have open dialogue on what they value individually in relationships to cover all areas: money, children, s*x. family members, friendships, religion, living habits, etc. Covering these bases will reveal potential snags. If you're not in agreement on the core value level the relationship won't be prosperous, so it's important to have full disclosure when contemplating taking a relationship to a deeper level. I'd feel betrayed if I found out something unpleasant about my spouse from someone else or under odd circumstances. In the end honesty wins.
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Hmmm...
Things I'd want to know:
He's into men also. ...for obvious reasons, I'm sure.
Whether or not he is a faith-based man. That mattered to me because I didn't want to be unequally yolked.
...if he has a violent streak, physical or verbal. (I can learn this over time unless he's a REALLY GOOD actor). LOL.
...if he has a healthy relationship with his mother or if he's a mama's boy. I'd want to know that because if he's a mama's boy, she can keep him. We don't have to fight for him!
...whether he has children, especially ones he's not taking care of. I say that because I had never been able to be with a man who had children he didn't take care of. I'm a mother myself, so that one's a biggie. If he left hers in the dust, he'll leave mine, too.
...if he's the faithful type or the type that is faithful to his own carnal desires...which means he'll screw anything with an opening small enough to fit snugly. LOL.
...if he can cook, clean and do laundry himself. I'd want to know because I believe when we both work, those are shared responsibilities.
...if he has bad credit.
...if he has a criminal record.
Things I Don't Want to Know:
...how many s*xual partners he's had. ...UNLESS he has a s*xually transmitted disease, like AIDS or herpes, both of which have no cure.
Personally, I don't like secrets, mostly because the truth always comes out eventually. I'd rather know certain things at the beginning. ...like if WE'RE seeing other people, WE should know. That list is longer but I wanted to give others a chance to chime in.
Blessings...