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Secretive Lovers 2009! (1208 hits)

Should you reveal everything about you to your potential spouse or serious relationship partner? Will you or did you reveal...everything? Do you desire or expect your partner to tell you everything about himself or herself? Will they or did they already reveal...everything? Do you even want to know all that your partner might have been in the past or might still be into presently? What will the consequences be if they are not forthcoming with the information? Are some things better left unsaid and hidden from your partner’s knowledge? What kinds of things? What do you think about secrets in male / female relationships? Are you a secretive person? Does keeping secrets from our spouses and serious relationship partners have any detrimental effects on our health as men and as women? What are they? Please feel free to share your opinion on this topic!

Brother Marcus!
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Posted By: Brother Marcus!
Thursday, March 12th 2009 at 3:56PM
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Hmmm...

Things I'd want to know:

He's into men also. ...for obvious reasons, I'm sure.

Whether or not he is a faith-based man. That mattered to me because I didn't want to be unequally yolked.

...if he has a violent streak, physical or verbal. (I can learn this over time unless he's a REALLY GOOD actor). LOL.

...if he has a healthy relationship with his mother or if he's a mama's boy. I'd want to know that because if he's a mama's boy, she can keep him. We don't have to fight for him!

...whether he has children, especially ones he's not taking care of. I say that because I had never been able to be with a man who had children he didn't take care of. I'm a mother myself, so that one's a biggie. If he left hers in the dust, he'll leave mine, too.

...if he's the faithful type or the type that is faithful to his own carnal desires...which means he'll screw anything with an opening small enough to fit snugly. LOL.

...if he can cook, clean and do laundry himself. I'd want to know because I believe when we both work, those are shared responsibilities.

...if he has bad credit.

...if he has a criminal record.

Things I Don't Want to Know:

...how many s*xual partners he's had. ...UNLESS he has a s*xually transmitted disease, like AIDS or herpes, both of which have no cure.

Personally, I don't like secrets, mostly because the truth always comes out eventually. I'd rather know certain things at the beginning. ...like if WE'RE seeing other people, WE should know. That list is longer but I wanted to give others a chance to chime in.

Blessings...
Friday, March 13th 2009 at 2:47AM
Dee Gray

Yes. Spill all the beans if it's a serious relationship. (Dating is different.) Particularly, if there are physical, mental or spiritual issues that could be problematic down the line you will find out in a serious relationship, but I'd rather not be surprised. Couples must have open dialogue on what they value individually in relationships to cover all areas: money, children, s*x. family members, friendships, religion, living habits, etc. Covering these bases will reveal potential snags. If you're not in agreement on the core value level the relationship won't be prosperous, so it's important to have full disclosure when contemplating taking a relationship to a deeper level. I'd feel betrayed if I found out something unpleasant about my spouse from someone else or under odd circumstances. In the end honesty wins.
Friday, March 13th 2009 at 9:38AM
Mona Austin