How true those words are. As I get older, I really don't care what other people think. I dress the way I want. I do the things I want. I'm happy. All that matters is what I think of myself.
When I was younger, this wasn't the case. I was always trying to fit in with a group of people. The jocks. The drama people. The choral people. The newspaper staff. I was involved in so many activities.
Girls can be so cruel and petty. I had to deal with issues of clothing, makeup, body size, breast size, my dark complexion (according to my mother and aunts), the length of my hair...etc. When you are one of the few black girls in a predominately white high school, you won't and don't fit the ideal beauty and body standards. When you also are a descendant of West Indian parents, you realize how superficial Carribbean people can be about things like good hair, skin complexion, and who your people are.
Then, I went away to college, did the same thing, but it was more freeing. The issues changed a bit: weight, tight clothing, revealing clothing, and s*xuality. I met people from all over and got to see a different part of the country. This time, I was part of a black theatre group and I embraced it. I learned so much about black theatre and for the first time, I got leading roles in black productions like For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide when The Rainbow is Enough and Day of Absence. My breakout role was my sophomore year in college, Precious Life In Limbo, a black fairytale. My character made four costume changes. Only my boyfriend and room mate knew who I was. Friends recognized me via my voice. I wore so much make up and a headdress that no one else knew who I was.
Now that I will enter a new decade in a few years, I have discovered how comfortable I am in my skin. I know what looks good on me. I'm not embarrassed at being well endowed. Luckily, I don't need goo gobs of make up and I dress for myself. I also know my passions: writing, theatre, music, bowling, and movies. I do have a few friends who make fun of me for being a fan of foreign films because I will as they say "read a movie." I don't care. I enjoy and learn so much from movies.
I've learned that with maturity comes freedom. Being comfortable and content in your skin is all that matters. You don't need anyone's approval. That's the way I live and I like that.
Posted By: Marsha Jones
Sunday, November 15th 2009 at 3:18PM
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