As the mother of two daughters, I have their best interests at heart. Last year at a family holiday gathering, my brother-in-law stressed the importance of making sure when they get older that my daughters only date black men. I found his plea odd. He is from down south, has two sons, but did not once stress the importance of his sons dating only black women.
I looked at him and said I just want my daughters to marry someone that loves them and treats them right. My brother-in-law didn't like my answer. I didn't care; he's not raising future black women.
Black men have being keeping their dating options open for years. The more they have moved up the societal ladder, the more times I've seen good Black women kicked to the curb. It happens in the National Football League, academia, the NBA, etc. Even Tiger Woods married someone not of color. His mom said former supermodel and talk show host Tyra Banks wasn't good enough for her son and she's rich. It's an unnecessary slap in the face. Quiet as it is kept, many Black women are happy President Obama's wife, Michelle, is a black woman.
When you consider the fact that fewer brothers are going to college, the murder rate increases, and there are more men of color in prison, what is an educated black woman to do?
My answer is keep your options open. I'm not saying be color struck like Terrell Owens. I am saying don't lower your standards. Look at Halle Berry. Two marriages to black men failed. She opted to not marry her baby's father, who is white. Actress Alfre Woodard is married to a white man. She grew up in Oklahoma and frankly, you won't find a lot of brothers there. Talk show mogul Oprah Winfrey is single. A route many of us fear to take.
I'm just sick of sistas having to apologize for making the right choices and sacrifices, only to be punished by men of color for having a higher standard. Black men need to stop blaming sistas for their problems. Men have been enjoying the benefits of the "black myth" for years.
All I know is that if you are lucky to find love, you should hold on to it with both hands. It's a precious commodity. Black love is a beautiful thing. Sometimes, love is color blind. I'm just saying what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
Posted By: Marsha Jones
Sunday, November 15th 2009 at 3:34PM
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