When I posted this statement on my Facebook Page, I had a male college friend ask me: "Why brag about this?" My friends's replies gave him a jolt. "That's why we love you." "You're a good mom and daughter." "After all that activity have a good night's sleep."
I posted my response at 6:45 a.m. My day started like this. I woke up at 5 a.m. on a Sunday to take my daughter to her lacrosse tournament located about 45 minutes from our house. I put her uniform in the dryer. Once everyone was dressed, we stopped at the store get snacks for the team.
I got her there in record time and then I willingly sat in the rain for thext 3 1/2 hours and watched her play. Luckily, I had umbrellas in the car. They won the first game and lost the next two. We packed up the car and headed for home. My youngest fell asleep after running and playing so hard.
Then I changed when I got home and decided to do a food buy while I had the energy. My oldest decided to accompany me to the store. While out it occurred to me to see my mom after shopping and bring her copies of my new book. What was supposed to be a quick trip...wasn't.
My mom was shocked that I stopped by considering the day I had. She was happy to see us. We caught up on family news and events, church news, and played the game of whatever happened to so and so. Nearly an hour later, I saw my oldest nodding off...she was exhausted and so was I. So I made my apologies and we left.
Once home, we unpacked the car and put stuff away. Then I ran upstairs to check my messages via phone and internet. My adrenaline was wearing out. I was scheduling meetings for the week and had to plan out tomorrow's column.
I decided to turn in early once the girls were fed. I managed to put some clothes away in the laundry baskets and weed through some junk mail. After all that, I was exhausted.
I responded back to him, "I wasn't bragging, I was just doing."
I take my parental role seriously. I love my daughters and have their best interests at heart. They didn't ask to be born. They are my first thoughts in the morning and last ones at night. I can't really function unless I know they are situated. I'm now a single parent and I can only do what I do. I don't like the super woman or super mom titles. My children's father choses not to be involved in their lives. I have great support systems and keep on keeping on.
My daughters have activities that keep them busy: Sunday School and church, music, sports, lessons, volunteer activities, theatre, the library, camps, arts, and movies. An idle mind is a playground for the devil. So many African American kids don't have this.
I see their potential and have made sacrifices for them because I want them to have a better life. Most kids would complain about what they don't have...mine don't most of the time. They are willing to go without because they understand my finances, my medical condition, its limitations, and know I do the best I can. I love them for that. I usually find free stuff for us to do. (wink)
Unfortunately, there are too many parents who have kids and think bringing them into the world was the hardest part. They are so wrong. It costs on average about $220,000 to raise a child from birth to 17. College costs not included. Too many parents expect schools to raise their kids. Too many parents don't keep up with their child's schooling and don't know who their friends are. And my biggest pet peeve...parents who don't show enough interest when their children need academic help.
I've managed to do this and thensome as a working African-American parent and a temporarily disabled parent. I'm still a room parent for my daughter's school, lacrosse co-commissioner for her team, have attended advance workshops...etc. The people at her school (and my other child's as well) know me.
Do I get tired? Yes. Do I have to do this? No, but I need to encourage and show my girls I am interested in their lives. I see their potentials and want to help them achieve them.
When I told him that, he changed his mind. His next response, you need to write a book about this. So I did a blog instead. (wink)
Posted By: Marsha Jones
Tuesday, June 15th 2010 at 9:18AM
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