By Darrell James
April 26, 2011
Participate in any discussion on relationships and you are likely to see a few things consistently.
First, you’ll see more women than men participating.
Second, you’ll see people passing stereotypes around, instead of seeking the truth with researched data.
And third, you’ll see one side blaming the other, while pretending to be listening in search of enlightenment.
Sad, I know.
But really, men and women are having difficulty talking to each other.
And, while no one wants to take the weight, both sides are to blame.
Men have to take their fair share of the breakdown blame because too many of us believe that it’s cool to tuck our emotions away. Too many men have also decided that it is better to appease women than to speak the truth and have them angry at us. And too many of us think that having a discussion about feelings is for women and gay men.
Consequently, our voice is rarely heard, except in response to the voices of “those” women who are loud and negative, particularly in the media.
In fact, the media is filled with article after article about what is wrong with Black men. Even when discussing the difficulties facing Black women, the finger is inevitably pointed at Black men. That’s why it’s confusing to see crazy people who get upset with me when I offer balance.
To the ignorant, balance means that I cannot say anything about women without someone simultaneously saying something about men.
Not only is that ignorant but it is in direct contradiction with the plethora of negative media coverage on men—Where the good ones are; why we are in prison, why we are “down low”, blah, blah, blah…..
At any rate, no one can deny that there is a war brewing between the genders and that unless more strong men stand up and make themselves heard, things will only get worse.
I asserted before and do so now, that Radical Feminism has caused some role-reversals and general confusion as to what each gender should really be about.
As a glaring example, where men were once fighters, we see far too many women cursing like sailors and ready to get physical with men and with each other (some of them are shocked when people fight back).
Some women consider themselves “evolved” to use filthy language like men and to engage as many lovers as possible (even though that ain’t good for men, either).
On the flip side, where women were once tender and more conciliatory, we see far too many men who refuse to stand up for themselves, speaking too softly, afraid to make people angry and allowing women to define them.
Of course, I will inspire anger when I point out that over the past thirty years, we-both men and women–have been assaulted by damaging and contradictory messages from Radical Feminists.
And, because Radical Feminists haven’t held a convention and passed out their propaganda in handbooks, some morons try to deny that it exists.
Radical Feminists have attempted to re-define womanhood, failing because not even all women agree. For example, for every combat boot-wearing freak of female nature who curses a man for chivalry, there is still a woman who prefers to have the door held for her.
And the re-defining of men failed for the same reasons.
In reality, there are so many covert gender-benders (which has nothing to do with s*xuality) speaking loudly while claiming to represent their gender that younger people are getting a little confused.
For example ignominious morons are quick to call a man gay because they disagree with him.
The morons who disagree with disrespect always go straight to the same place that white racists always went—attempt at castration.
White racists loved calling Black men “boy” in order to cast doubt on his manhood. Witness the Feminatzis and their sissified boy minions calling men gay when they disagree or dislike what they hear from the men.
Aside from the aspersions against a man’s s*xuality, there are the accusations of hating Black women when a man speaks against the propaganda.
Well nutty Feminatzis and their sissified boy minions will now have another reason to hate me, even though I still haven’t found one reason to give a damn.
I don’t care because I’ve studied history.
The revolutionary movements of Blacks during the 1950’s and 1960’s were about freedom from Jim Crow laws and discrimination against people of color. It expanded beyond Black to include other oppressed minorities, which is why we see Mexican immigrants singing “We Shall Overcome” while employing tactics from the Sixties in seeking their goals.
The results of the revolutionary movements in the Sixties benefited both men and women, even though Radical Feminists claim that the movements were s*xist.
And, since we now see that more women are in college than men, which is leading to some groups of women progressing over groups of men, we know that the results were beneficial to both genders.
So, why, then, do we still hear about the poor, oppressed Black woman, who is downtrodden by the very Black man she also claims to have passed in progress?
The reason is simple, yet infuriating for the ignorant.
Journalist, Activist, Author Midge Decter asserts that the Radical Feminist is disoriented by freedom of choice.
“It is a freedom that frightens her [today's woman] and disorients her and burdens her terribly,” asserts Decter. “The appeal to her of the women’s movement is that in her fear and disorientation, the movement offers her the momentary escape contained in the idea that she is not free at all; that she is, on the contrary, the victim of an age-old conspiracy that everything troubling to her has been imposed on her by others.”
In other words, feminism, much like many other revolutions, failed its followers, because there was and is no plan for dealing with success.
Arguably, one could say that the Black revolution failed because once the goals that were set were reached, there was no plan for continued direction. This may explain why Blacks improved for a time and then in many ways began to backslide.
It may also explain why many Black women chose to attach themselves to a movement (feminism) that still had momentum, even as the direction was becoming murky.
But the conundrums can be found in statements that detail how far ahead Black women are than Black men, juxtaposed to the statements of how Black men are oppressing Black women.
Essentially, such silly statements dictate that Black men have focused on holding their women down, instead of progressing. It also dictates that Black women have become more powerful than Black men but are ostensibly either too stupid or too weak to keep from being held down by these weak and stupid people.
When we hear the statements of job parity or equal access in society, Black men recognize and respect the struggle of Blacks who are women, because we still face some of those same issues as Blacks who are men.
So then what is it that the Black Radical Feminist wants?
Apparently, not even she knows, particularly, since many of those who carry the banner and pass along the propaganda often shy away from even identifying with feminism.
But African descendants in America are familiar with such hesitation, as throngs of Blacks have either passed as white through history, or simply have refused to be identified with Blacks.
The Radical Feminist slogan should go something like this: “What do we want? We don’t know. When do we want it? Now!”
The Bridge: Who’s Gonna Take The Weight? (Part 2)
Last week, I mused about the actual destruction being done by feminism in today’s arena.
The question must be asked: “How could a woman’s movement work within any race when it must move ahead without its male counterparts?”
In order for Black women to embrace Radical Feminism, they had to first embrace the notion that the men in their own race were their enemies.
This is a clear sign of the disorientation that Journalist, Activist, Author Midge Decter asserts that the Radical Feminist is plagued by under complete freedom of choice, which is essentially freedom from cooperating with a male partner.
Just as men need the balance of making choices with a female partner, women need the balance of cooperating with a male counterpart. However, Radical Feminism “freed” them from all of that, as we hear far too many women today exclaim: “I don’t need a man!”
The embrace of the Black man as the Black woman’s enemy explains why the first response to a discussion on the faults of women is that the person presenting those faults must hate women.
I get such responses to my writing.
Its clear that I don’t hate Black women, but it makes the disoriented feminist believe that there is something to rage against and gives her the permission (in her own mind) to avoid discussing anything based on research, statistics and/or reality, as opposed to insulting me.
Decter makes a profound point. A woman who formerly had a constricted range of choices “must now decide everything essential to her.” Whether to be serious about a career, whether to marry, whether to divorce, whether to bear children–everything is in her hands “to a degree possibly unprecedented in the history of mankind, a degree experienced by her as bordering on the intolerable.” The responsibility is too much, the choices too many.
Does this statement imply that women are too weak to make such decisions? No. But it does imply that men and women should be interdependent, which is counter to the label of “Independent Woman” that is proudly worn by many of today’s women.
An “Independent Woman” is free from depending on men for anything, because she is doing it all on her own. She doesn’t need a man for anything, and according to many of these “evolved” creatures, a man would only hold them down.
Then why is it that those same women talk about how horrible men are for not giving them what they want?
The simple truth is that Radical Feminism should have stopped raging against a machine that began to work for them. But since it didn’t stop raging, it began raging out of control.
Really, what is there to rage against since women are ahead of men in many arenas?
Decter’s point becomes clear when those of us who refuse to indict Black men as the Black woman’s oppressor/enemy recognize that feminism’s politics lead women to hold the burden for making all of the decisions in their lives. And they must make these decisions alone.
Previously, when women were still “oppressed,” they were “forced” to make choices of career, children and marriage based on what men thought, specifically the men in their lives.
Currently they have the “freedom” to make whatever choices uninhibited by man’s oppression, yet any dissatisfaction is still the fault of man.
These choices lead many women to be single mothers and to grow old without marriage partners. And, for many disoriented women, these conditions are the fault of men.
However, after pissing in the water for so long, the disoriented feminists have discovered that they too, must drink that water. And some of them are making some hard-fought and long-coming admissions.
Some women are admitting that it’s hard to make decisions for everything alone, even as some women are still making choices that will lead them to living alone, including choice of men and choice of politics.
Women have been raising boys alone, yet they have been unable to raise them to be what they need, because according to the same radical feminists, men are getting weaker while women are getting stronger.
Let me pose a question to Radical Feminatzis that I already know won’t be answered: Aside from the fact that you think I hate women and that you think I am blaming the victim, what other reasons can you point to for the diminishing of men over time?
Let’s spell out some of the contradictions in the Radical Feminatzi’s messages: Men are now weaker and women are stronger, YET men are still oppressing these strong creatures.
Men are intimidated by strong women, YET strong women have raised them alone.
Women are so evolved that they are no longer victims, YET if we discuss any of their failings, we are “blaming the victim.”
Women are excelling beyond belief, YET men are still holding them back.
I’ve heard some psychotic Feminatzis claim that women had worked out all of their issues and that the only problems left belong to men. That is insane and contradictory to human nature as we know it.
So, am I suggesting that women need to be lead by men?
Not at all.
But what I am suggesting is that if women aren’t going to lead the entire race as Bill Cosby suggests, then they had better begin to find ways to work with men or we are all doomed.
Next Week: Feminism’s Irrelevance
Darryl James is an award-winning author of the powerful new anthology “Notes From The Edge.” James’ stage play, “Love In A Day,” opens in Los Angeles this Spring. View previous installments of this column at
www.bridgecolumn.proboards36.com. Reach James at djames@theblackgendergap.com.
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Tuesday, April 26th 2011 at 3:52PM
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