by Black Love And Marriage.com on April 26, 2011
In Black Men
Have you ever been in a relationship with a brotha that you knew wasn’t playing with a full deck? Question……why were you in a relationship with him in the first place?….smh. The below article is taken from AOL BlackVoices. It will give you insight on what type of men to AVOID.
By Shirea L. Carroll
Men have issues that are equal — if not worse than — women because they are socialized to internalize their issues rather than deal with them. That means that entering a relationship with a man that is broken, hurt, weird or angry can be way more of a risk than dating a woman going through the same things. Women are taught to love and, if hurt, taught to love again. For men? Not so much.
Failure and success in love and relationships are to be expected, and are the reasons we all have “issues” in the first place. However, it’s the way we deal with the issues that define our sanity.
The scary thing is that spotting a man with issues is a bit more difficult than vice versa because men know how to “play it cool.” They try to not let their emotions get the best of them and are able to check themselves when they realize they’re going off the deep end. However, their cool-as-a-cucumber demeanor weakens the more they begin to care. Once you spot a man with issues, men are great at “explaining” why they are like this… and women fall for it.
Don’t let them fool you before you find yourself head over heels with a psycho! Here are 8 men you should watch out for.
1. The Disrespectful Dude
If a guy is okay with telling you to “shut the f*ck up” in public or always calling you another name in private (we’re not talking about “baby”), then you clearly have a man who is disrespectful. At some point in his life, he was really disrespected and never handled it, leaving him to think the only way for it not to happen again is to disrespect others.
2. The Unresolved Griever
If your man is a widower or divorcé who felt the best thing to do instead of cry and release his emotions was to get back into the game and replace his lost love, he will have issues. What can happen is you fall head over heels, and the first thing he hits you with is, “I’m not ready for a relationship.” He’ll never be ready if he doesn’t take the time to heal from the wounds his past relationships have left.
3. The Playa’s Playa’
Men communicate through s*x, but if your man is the talk of the town, and admits to sleeping with everything that has a ******, he’s going through something. A man that disposes of women after s*x doesn’t realize a woman’s worth, showing you he’s not worth your time.
4. The Mama Hater
We all know that if a man doesn’t treat the woman who gave him life right, he won’t know how to treat the #1 woman in his life correctly. If you ever heard your man call his mom a b*tch or anything similar, this isn’t the guy for you; the issues of his childhood will sneak their way into his adulthood 99.9% of the time.
5. The Macho Macho Man
Does your man feel like he has to prove he’s a man all the time? Is everything a competition? Is he always talking about the guy’s lights he almost punched out? Does he excuse these behaviors by saying, “It’s a man thing?” There are usually two reasons a manly man might be overcompensating: because he’s angry about past issues, or because he’s man’s man… literally. How yoooooouuu doin’?
6. The Angry Man
If your man flies off the handle when you cut your hair short, because he insists he told you he only likes long hair, run for the hills. An uber-angry man not only has issues but poses risks to your safety. Not being able to control his temper is a sign that his issues have already spiraled out of control.
7. The Baby Boy
The only thing worse than a man with issues is a boy who doesn’t think he has any. Grown men who refuse to grow up, preferring to act like children, throw up the most red flags. If he feels you should do literally everything for him, he needs to learn how to grow up. You’re neither his mother nor his teacher.
8. The Gender Generalizer
Be weary of any man who likes to generalize and stereotype women in categories like: all women are liars; all woman are scandalous; or all woman are cheaters. Usually these are the men who really experienced something hurtful from a woman they really loved and have since been left jaded and bitter.
Shirea L. Carroll is a journalist who has written for Essence, VIBE, Washington Post’s TheRoot.com, XXL’s Juicy and AOL. Reporting on everything from music and entertainment to celebrity and love, she has interviewed some of today’s biggest celebrity names. Find the NJ native on her blog Invite Only, or follow her on Twitter @InviteOnly to find out “who is and isn’t invited.”
Posted By:
Wednesday, April 27th 2011 at 11:28AM
You can also
click
here to view all posts by this author...
