By Black Love And Marriage.com on January 24, 2012
In Inspiration,Living With Intention
By Neysa Ellery Taylor
Ok, this is another kick in the rear end type of post. Are you ready? Seatbelt fastened? Ok, let’s go…I want everyone to take a good look at themselves in the mirror. Seriously. Pull out a mirror and take a look at yourself. Ask yourself this one question: “If I met myself at the club, would I want to have s*x with me?” I know, it’s not real deep but it’s real. Look at yourself. Do you like what you see? If you were out and about and saw your mirror image, would you holla’ at that person? If you answered either of these questions negatively, then guess what? You have work to do.Let’s be honest if you are married or in a committed relationship for a long time there is a tendency to get comfortable. Well, “getting comfortable” isn’t the correct terminology. It should be called “I am so focused on my career, my family, trying to keep this house together, pursue this advanced degree, make this money, teach this child to read, serve my community, and my spouse that I have no time for me itis.” It’s not that you “got comfortable.” You got incredibly busy. But how does that play a part in your marriage/relationship? I’m not just talking about how your partner feels about you, but how do you feel about yourself?
I know, I know. You are thinking that your spouse should love you for you? And they should. I have witnessed my grandmother offer loving care to my terminally ill grandfather. In those final weeks, I am sure dressing up and looking “fresh” weren’t anywhere on their todo list. But if you are not battling a serious ailment, then you should upgrade your look. Why? Because your spouse deserves your best.
Let’s think about it for a second. If you were still on the dating scene you would take better care of yourself. Your hair would stay whipped. Your figure tight. The mani-pedi would be flawless. And it’s not just the ladies that would come correct. Fellas know that before they hit the club they are Diddy-clean. Fades are lined up geometry straight. They are looking good! Sometimes the care and attention to detail start to fade after you’ve been with someone awhile. Speaking from personal experience, it’s not that I don’t want to get my nails done, but when I weigh that against braces, groceries, and the light bill my nails don’t seem that important anymore. But my spouse deserves the best me that I can be. He deserves me looking my best. He deserves to have a spouse that he is proud of on his arm.
And beyond looking cute for my spouse, I deserve to be fabulous. I deserve to take time to keep myself looking nice. I deserve some “me time.” When you look better, you feel better about yourself. You have more confidence. You walk taller. You put a little extra pep in your step. No, I am not saying your looks are the most important thing in your relationship. But they are part of the package.
So stop. Check yourself out in the mirror. If you see something that isn’t to your liking, work on it. Sometimes you can upgrade your relationship by upgrading yourself.
Neysa Ellery Taylor is an integral part of the writing team here at Blackloveandmarriage.com. She lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband, Chris, and their 4 children – Asyen, Maya, Preston, and Patrick. An Emmy-Award winning journalist, she hopes to share her passion for marriage and God through her writing. You can read more of her work atMyriadthatisme.blogspot.com.
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Sunday, January 29th 2012 at 12:27PM
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